Unexpected...

[GirlAfraid23]

I was out this weekend in my old university town and bumped into somebody I haven't seen in about a year and a half. I also had a falling out with this person so we didn't speak for a year. This is no ordinary person though, he was a very close friend of mine and also somebody I fell for whilst at uni. I have always held a candle for him and hoped that one day he would turn up at my door blah blah that sort of thing. However I never really believed I would ever see him again.

But there he was...we had basically bumped into each other without organising a meeting or anything. It really threw me and my heart was beating out of my chest when I saw him. It was really quite difficult for me to speak to him so I stayed with my friends all night and tried to forget he was there. On the way back, as I was walking down the road he was coming towards me with some friends, he looked right at me but didn't smile, say hello or anything. I think he was perhaps abit bemused as to why I was there.

I then text him on my way home and asked him if he was out tonight at said place and he answered yes but claimed he hadn't seen me although he pretty much looked straight into my eyes as I walked past him.
He then said it would be nice to meet up and as I was little drunk I said I could do this week.
He agreed and we are apparentley meeting for the first time in over a year - just the two of us.
I am very very anxious, even writing about it my hands are clammy and my stomach is writhing. It has sent my anxiety up a few levels I can tell you! Before this weekend everything was pretty much back on track and I didn't feel too anxious at all.
I am planning to go because I feel I may regret it otherwise.
I have wanted this for so long but now that it has finally come around I am very apprehensive and feel like its too good to be true. I have fantasised about the two of us meeting up alone and me confessing my true feelings to him but now I'm worrying he will either get cold feet and not turn up or cancel on me so I feel as though I'm playing with fire as my emotions are all over the place at the moment. I need advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation or anybody who has any insight. I thought I would be happy but i'm just anxious, waiting on tenterhooks almost for the day we do meet and then where do we go from there? I also have a partner now so that makes things even more difficult. Help!

---------- Post added at 13:42 ---------- Previous post was at 13:38 ----------

Oh and to also add to the post. I am sort of confused as to why he wants to meet now opposed to a year/6 months ago and why would he organise to meet this week when he didn't even speak to me when he saw me this weekend?! It doesn't make sense!

[GirlAfraid23]

Can anyone help?

[Anxious_gal]

I think you should go for closure.
There is a huge chance he only views you as a friend . . .
But it could be good for you to tell him about your feelings just because you want him to know and not because you want anything from him.
Judge him by his actions not by his words.

[GirlAfraid23]

Well, I'm not meeting him until next week now. Another week of waiting, anticipating and worrying.
I'm sure this amount of stress and worry about meeting someone isn't good. I am putting all of my hopes onto this. If it all goes wrong then my world will be broken.

Mishel can I ask why you say that "there's a big chance he only views you as a friend"?

[Anxious_gal]

When ye didn't speak for a year did he try to make up or contact you at all?
From how you describe the siuatiob it seems you have more feelings for him , than he has for you :(
When you met him out, it didn't seem like he wanted to talk, I guess if he had givin you a sign / smile you might have went over just to say hi etc . .

I dunno it's just when a guy likes you he shows it , judge by his actions not his words .

I'm worried you will get hurt if he doesn't feel the same way.

[danoxford]

"When you met him out, it didn't seem like he wanted to talk, I guess if he had givin you a sign / smile you might have went over just to say hi etc"

This does not mean this chap doesn't have feelings for you. People are different, I know that if I liked a girl (before I found my soulmate!) I was very coy and very nervous, so in this instance you'd be assuming I couldn't stand the sight of you!

However, you obviously have strong feelings for and think a lot of this chap, but neither of you have made the effort/found the time to meet up until now. Just go meet up with him and tell him how you feel. It's terrifying because, and I know this is more terrifying, it could go badly, but there is no other logical way of doing this.

Good luck!

[weevil]

He may well have not seen you when you were out, he could have looked at you but not registered you, maybe you look different? Or maybe he did but was embarassed at not speaking to you so said he didn't see you. I could see me doing that if I was taken by surprise.

It's good you're meeting him, well it's what I'd do, I can't let things go so if you feel you need some closure with him then it's good. What do you want to happen? Do you want to be friends again? Do you still want more even though you have a partner?

[Mirabelle]

Girl
If he wanted to see you he would have made contact long before now. Don't go to meet him and think of him no more. He is not for you. You contacted him and he agreed to see you, I think you have feelings for him that he doesn't have for you. The only thing that is in this for you is heartache.
I know. This sounds harsh but there it is. You have enough to deal with at the moment. Even if you meet up and you date him you would always be wondering if he would ever have contacted you if you hadn't text him first.
xx