Help, help, help!

[Zingara]

Hi,
I have been having a desperate time with stress lately. It's everything - unemployment, severe financial problems and resultant pressure upon my relationship with my partner, which is very distressing. I also have ongoing health problems, and a few new worries as well.
On Sunday I was staying at my parents' house, as my partner had his boys to stay. My mum wanted me to go to church, so I got up and she gave me a lift, but I felt anxious and unable to go in, as I am prone to upsetting thoughts about religion, death and hell etc., and they all seemed to sweep over me. So I went and had a coffee in town. I don't often drink 'proper' coffee, only instant at home, so I don't know if the caffeine affected me, but within about 15 minutes of drinking it my heart was pounding, my legs and arms felt like jelly and I needed to go to the toilet urgently. I really hate using public loos, but I had to, but still felt really shaky. I went into church just for the last part of the service. Then my mum picked me up, and normally we would just have gone home, but she wanted to call in at her church because there was an event going on after the service. So she dropped me off in the park and I walked to my own house, still feeling really ill and strange. When I got there one of my partner's boys was there along with another boy I didn't know at all, and they were playing violent computer games (something that really upsets me and is a source of friction between me and my partner). I felt really agitated at this, though I did my best to be nice to them. But I felt I couldn't stay, and got a taxi to my mum's house. Then the shaking came on so badly I felt I couldn't control my limbs, I started to get properly scared. My dad was there, but he has never been able to cope with emotion or distress, and he just looked at me disapprovingly when I came in crying and shaking. Anyway, I managed to calm down a little as the afternoon wore on, but then, in the early evening, I began to have chills and feel light-headed, which set the whole anxiety cycle off again. I felt terrible and unreal all the rest of the day, and then felt that I couldn't face going to my own house, even though usually I really look forward to getting home on a Sunday night. I felt that I couldn't face my partner; I was in a dreadful state.

Yesterday was an unremarkable day filled with the usual anxiety, but then this morning (Tues) I was woken by pain in my stomach and have had some diarrhoea this morning. I was filled with panic because I am severely emetophobic and utterly terrified of getting a stomach bug. It seems to have passed off a little now but I am still very scared. I honestly don't know if it was a relatively mild stomach upset or just anxiety??

I have had so much going on lately - it seriously would take me hours to explain all the dramas and pressures. I went back to work for the first time in three years this last week - only to fill in for someone who is off sick - and at first I enjoyed it, but then some of them started to tease me quite intensely and brutally - it is a very macho environment - and I started to feel hot and panicky, and was very glad to get home. There are a lot of other things going on as well.

I am also trying to retrain in modern languages at the moment, which involves me having to travel quite a long way for a practice session every now and then. I'm supposed to be going on Thursday, and daren't cancel as I have done so several times already - because of anxiety attacks or a shortage of money. I feel that if I cancel again I will have to tell them the whole story about my panic etc., or they will think that I am not committed. The whole thing makes me even more anxious.

Thank you to anyone who's read this far! It is good to write about it, really. In addition to all this I get terribly sad and nostalgic so much of the time. I really don't know where to turn. Does anyone else find coffee a trigger? Can chills be just an anxiety symptom? I really want to avoid anything like that happening again (though I know only too well that it will!)

[Restored Rachel]

It's all anxiety and fear issues from what I'm reading and what I have experienced. Caffeine can trigger anxiety, and with it being early in the morning and drinking it can upset your stomach. By starting that job its new to you and you got out of your comfort zone. It's going to take awhile to get use to and the hell what other people think because they have no idea what your going through and how you feel. I suggest you find something that will help renew your mind and thinking so that your physical aspects wont be affected. You are going to get through this I promise, you are use to this part of it but there is a way out and it's beneficial. I had to seek outside help and get put on a anti-depressant prozac and it has really helped alot as long with a relationship with God and trusting in him. Hope all gets better :)

[mohamed25]

Coffee and other stimulants like sugar, artificial sweeteners, colourings etc can also trigger anxiety.
I would also recommend drinking chamomille tea, reducing dairy products and deep breathing

Hope this helps :)

Regards
Mohamed

[potato11]

Hiya Zingara :)

You sound like you have been having a tough old time of it lately! :hugs:

Reading what you have put, it seems to me that your recent stresses have triggered panic attacks. From what I've learnt in various books and people etc, it isn't stress that causes what we hate so much about panic. Stress contributes to panic attacks happening, if you're not sure how to deal with them correctly.

The example you gave about you drinking coffee in the church - From my understanding, I think it probably did increase your heart rate slightly (As caffeine does) but it was your reaction to this that caused the subsequent trauma. Your underlying thoughts probably went something like, "Don't like being here, how soon is it until I can leave? A drink might help me take my mind off it... wait, can I feel my heart? oh god it's sped up.. what's in this coffee? I don't usually drink this.... what if i'm having a reaction... this is horrible..i REAALLY want to go now..." cue the activation of your friend the flight or fight response, leading to symptoms of shakiness, needing the toilet, horrible feeling of 'something wrong', world feeling strange and unreal..etc.

I understand how horrible it is when you are experiencing it, but that situation really can be explained very simply. Focusing on symptoms is what lands us in panic mode and keeps us in the panic cycle.

I myself have experienced health anxiety, and first off started down the road of relaxation techniques and googling endlessly to try and overcome it. Whilst it's nice to read about other people's experiences of symptoms and situations, what has helped me the most by FAR is CBT, because it helps you to stop 'fearing' panic, which is precisely what causes panic in the first place! once you learn and experience that panic isn't going to harm you, you stop fearing it and it subsequently goes away. On the other hand, if you just focus on all the symptoms your panic is giving you, the nature of the fight or flight response will just magnify them and convince you there must be something terribly wrong with you. The trick is to understand that ALL the strange and horrible feelings need to be banded under "anxiety", that way you will feel able to cope with whatever comes up, because you know the root cause - where the 'tap' with the leak is so to speak!

I came across a CBT website on here a couple of days a go which I thoroughly thoroughly recommend :yesyes:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=91696 < Please use the link to the appropriate thread on No More Panic.

it's online e-books and videos, there's a 30 day money back guarantee so you've got absolutely nothing to lose. Like i say, i found it being promoted on this website a couple of days ago and it really really has helped me have two of the most peaceful days I've had in a while! despite me being in a relatively stressful job (third year student midwife with a dissertation to be completed! lol)

Give it a try. You may have a lot of stress in your life, but that DOESN'T mean you have to suffer with panic - I promise! take it from me :hugs: As they say, people that experience panic come out the other side a stronger person because they've learnt a true life lesson in how to cope with the situations life puts us in.

All the best and good luck! xx