unknown651
19-10-11, 00:33
i feel like ive gone through such a tough couple of years and in general compared to others lives a tough ten years in fact. i dunno if i have anxiety because i read that anxiety is panic attacks and i dont get them i just feel i cant relax and its really so horrible. i started a new job 2 weeks ago this is the 3rd week and i still get butterfly stomach feeling before i go and ive been feelin so emotional, crying very easily. ive been sensitive person all my life and my home life has never been stable. never had a father figure, move house every 3 or so years, moving house this week actually. the main thing is i have a hard time just being myself really. i think where i have found it so difficult relaxing through my life i have trouble relaxing so that i can just be myself and its still not reseolved. i feel like i just want this over now i cant carry on living like it. i keep things bottled up aswell which probably doesnt help but even if i wanted to who could i talk to? counsellers cost money dont they? its affecting my life alot i feell i could be so good if this anxiety went away. my mum had a mental breakdown when she was in her teens and shes not completely normal. so could be in the genes. my older sister moved out when i was young aswel so i didnt really ave anyone to look up to or a good role model. i tried going to the docs and explaining but i didnt mention social part because i thought i mite had GAD. the doc was really horrible and ive reported her its put me off the whole idea and she didnt help atall. i wanna be happy so much but i feel i need some help to be honest. dunno what to do!!!