View Full Version : Do you believe your anxiety keeps you safe?
Anxious_gal
19-10-11, 05:56
Very random thought... But I do think my anxiety keeps me safe... I wonder how I can learn to trust the world enough to let go of my anxiety?
Or maybe I just need to learn to trust myself enough to cope when the bad things do happen?
I've considered this a lot. In fact, my girlfriend has made me consider this a lot, as she has asked me many times whether I feel my anxiety, or my symptoms of anxiety and the way I deal with them, is a sort of protection from the "outside" world.
I think, logically, that it's a moot question. Anxiety doesn't keep us safe, bad things, whatever they may be to you or I, happen whether we're anxious or not. But I'm sure logically you agree with that.
I know that I have times where I take comfort in my anxiety. It's rare, but I know I do.
What do you think?
I think I'm used to running away from things because of anxiety and I believe this'll keep me safe but it's like a short term safety. I've made bad longterm decisions because of it and I really hate running from things but at the moment I can only think of how I feel that second.
For me personally, no.
I don't see my anxiety in that kind of positive light. If it were a productive kind of anxiety, i.e. the normal kind where you feel worried about something tangible as anyone would, or the kind the pushes you forward to achieve something, then yes, it would be a benefit, but the idea of safety when having anxiety, no, because you only think you are safe because the anxiety you feel is about a perceived threat or fear, and usually not a real one.
I see anxiety as a prison to be honest, that keeps me from just doing stuff without worrying, going places, achieving things, etc.
I can now see that I have lost almost 10 years of my life on mental health problems, when I could have really just lived and experienced so much more. It has held me back and left me playing catch up with everyone around me.
The only positive about it is it has made me value life when it ISN'T looming over me.
xxx:hugs:
I don't think it keeps me safe in a positive way, it does it at the expense of me having a normal life. I'm afraid of the things in normal life.
Hi Mishel :)
Crikey this struck a chord today ......very perceptive thought here Mishel .
my anxiety is like a blanket... in that it makes me fearful and always on alert for for danger ..............too many risks to be taken if out of comfort zone .
Not able yet to embrace the outside world truly though not complete agrophobic thank goodness .Function in the daily round ok .........but retreat to my inner life to feel SAFE . Bring on the blanket and escape :lac:
Hope you are ok .......dont like to post much .......but your words touched me .
stay strong eh ?
You are a very strong and perceptive lady ...but you dont realise this yet I THINK :yesyes::
meet you one day at the summit we have all climbed :bighug1:
Hi Mishel :)
Crikey this struck a chord today ......very perceptive thought here Mishel .
my anxiety is like a blanket... in that it makes me fearful and always on alert for for danger ..............too many risks to be taken if out of comfort zone .
Not able yet to embrace the outside world truly though not complete agrophobic thank goodness .Function in the daily round ok .........but retreat to my inner life to feel SAFE . Bring on the blanket and escape :lac:
Hope you are ok .......dont like to post much .......but your words touched me .
stay strong eh ?
You are a very strong and perceptive lady ...but you dont realise this yet I THINK :yesyes::
meet you one day at the summit we have all climbed :bighug1:
Struck a chord with me too.
My head thinks that my anxiety is protecting me in some way but i can't convince it that its not needed anymore.
I have a very strong and stubborn mind, i packed up smoking 6 months ago after being a heavy smoker for 35 years... because thats what i decided to do, so i must have a strong head..... but for some reason my brain wants to hold on to my anxietys because my head wont tell it otherwise......sort of know what im trying to say:shrug:
It can work both ways I suppose. Does your anxiety indeed protect you from doing something that you cannot cope with? And is it that you can't cope with it because you are anxious?! The thing is it keeps you safe from doing something that it considers would make you more anxious. And it does this by making you more anxious. Its the only mental disorder that limits you in this confusing way.
Looking at it in this light suggests that to get rid of the anxiety you need to push the barriers further and further out rather than breaking them down. This seems a sensible way forward.
My t'pence worth. Take care.
I do agree that anxiety is a sort of "inner protector"-the problem is it is so often too protective-protecting us from dangers that do not exist and this gets in the way of having a "normal" life.
Anxious_gal
20-10-11, 19:35
I do also think anxiety gives us a much more scary out look on the world.
We always leave when we are anxious and don't stay or confront our fears.
Wen we get out of a "scary" situation we feel relief so the brain sorta learns that behavior, a bit like pavlovs dogs who's body/brain learns to produce sliva when they hear the dinner bell ring, we learn to produce anxiety before we even get any thoughts sometimes.
I know this goes against the teachings of CBT a little bit, but I do think CBT and exposure therapy can reverse this reaction.
My anxiety makes me very paranoid and untrusting of people.
Not only do I worry about every thing around me, looking out for danger , imagining danger. I am also monitoring my body and being fearful of anxiety symptoms.
Dan
Wow it's great you can talk to your girl about your anxiety :) I do find that when I am not anxious, as in feeling calm, it's such a rare feeling for me it has me wondering "whats wrong, why aren't I anxious"
Debs
I didn't mean it as a positive thing, or maybe I did lol I am not sure.
I do agree it is a prison and it does rob you of life but it too makes you much more grateful of the little things.
It's so weird to see how easy things are for people without anxiety, they really don't get all those scary thoughts we do. They just assume everything will be ok where as I am always prepared for the worst!
Weevil normal is scary to us I guess :) I think with practice though we can always improve our anxiety .
SnowGoose
Haha thanks, I find it hard to put my thoughts into words a lot.
I totally under your blanket theory, there is comfort in avoiding things that scare us and that is natural.
Maybe at some point we might be able to embrace and enjoy the things that cause us so much fear.
Aw thanks again, you are very sweet :)
Yes I am ok, I hope you are doing good too. :hugs:
Baileys Well done on not smoking, I have not managed to stop, not even after having my wisdom teeth removed, the first thing I did was smoke after!!
I think I might that easy way to stop smoking book, it got me off the fags for 3 whole days last time I read it!
Pancho, very good point, I love looking at things from all angles :)
John Yep very true, I find it hard at times to tell when or if I am overreacting, like I don't know what level of response/anxiety/concern to have in certain situations.
I often just tend to assume I am overreacting haha
i find all these anwers very reassuring as they explain to me my anxieties. it does stop me from living a normal life, it does imprison me from what i want to do. my biggest problen is driving the car. i so want to get in the car and drive. but i cant. i proberly havent driven the car for a good number of years now. and get angry with myself for letting my anxiety win. my partner`s eyes are going and i may have to become the driver soon and it scares me to death. what a silly thing to be dictacted by, but i am, and i cant get on top of it.
Dan
Wow it's great you can talk to your girl about your anxiety :) I do find that when I am not anxious, as in feeling calm, it's such a rare feeling for me it has me wondering "whats wrong, why aren't I anxious"
There are some great replies on this thread. If I couldn't talk to her about my anxiety I don't think I could be with her. Sometimes I feel like I put too much on her, a lot of the time in fact, but I have to remember that at the same time she wouldn't be with me or want to help me if she didn't want to.
And I get that exact same thought process, usually after a very relaxed day I can suddenly think "oh, why am I not anxious today?" and that immediately triggers it and starts me off again.
WolfieKate
21-10-11, 07:06
I don't believe my anxiety keeps me safe. It's not at all comforting. I hate it and I wish it would go away! It makes me agitated, angry with inert objects like hoovers!, and depressed.
I think other things i have done kept me away from my inner fear - I have a problem with addictions as I don't like sitting with the fear, I did anything I could to anaesthetise it for over 20 years! But now I am free of alcohol and other addictive behaviour with food, bad relationships, shopping, work, I have felt very afraid and it's only now I can see my anxiety as a symptom of it's own away from other stuff and really get to grips with why life scares me so much. I am anxious because I was taught as a child/young adult that I didn't count, that I wasn't good enough, that in social situations I was inadequate and should keep my mouth shut. That's a lot of programming to deal with. And one of the people who made me that way is still alive and I am trying to remove him from my life and most importantly my children's lives.
I do wake and look for the fear and it's always there, I wondered if I have been creating it by looking for it recently. Who knows.
My counsellor is not a fan of medication because she believes that if you chemically remove the fear then you never get to grips with it or face it. But I am sick of feeling like this so today I see my GP and ask to try one more anxiety medication. Last one then I call time if the side effects are too grim.
william wallace
21-10-11, 07:41
I get both depression and anxiety, but never at the same time. I'm either anxious or depressed. If I had the choice I would take the anxiety. To my mind, there's nothing worse than that horrible hopeless feeling in the tum.
Never mind, onwards and upwards. I have to go to work now.
WW:)
I beleive it is my bodies way of trying to keep my safe yes.
Hi, i think anxiety would have kept you safe during the cave men days but now anxiety can cause you long term illnesses, after years of it... some anxiety is okay and healthy, but for me my body goes into overload which i know stops me living day to day...:)
Ahh this really hits something so central to anxiety.
I thought I didn't avoid anything and was quite proud of this - with my anxiety I've always been able to get on with everyday life despite feeling very nervous for a lot of it, my panic is not attached to particular situations. But just this week I have realised I avoid loads of things and it's really subtle. For example I don't go for nights out with my friends any more and I tell myself it's because they always go to the same club so it's boring, or I better not because I have an early start next day or I have no money. But really it's because I'm scared. Scared of having anxiety yet again, scared of having to pretend I'm having a great time when I'm not.
I feel very sad when I realise how little I feel safe these days. Every morning I wake up with a vague sense of dread or fear. The world just does not seem a safe place, so I put so many limitations on what I can do. I don't do anythign spontaneously any more, everything has to be considered. I don't even laugh as much because I don't want to feel breathless.
It makes me feel really frustrated and down when I think about all the things that I'm scared of, that other people can do so easily without even batting an eyelid. Like just going on a car journey, everyone else does things so casually, it's not fair!
Ahh nice to get that off my chest sorry :noangel:
I have pondered this one myself.
I think my fear is a protection in that I avoid things. So I think I'm safe, but in reality, avoidance only prolongs the fear and keeps it getting stronger.
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