help i hate christmas coming

[patricias]

this time of the year when everywhere is geting all ready for the festive season i start feeling my worst. :weep:really it makes me so sad it tears my heart out. everybody always seems to be happy around you, and i dread those words, "have a happy christmas" or did you have a happy christmas. no is my answer but you have to pretend you are happy. words cant explain how i dread the day. yet i used to love it just like everybody else.:scared15:

[pinkdove]

Hi patricia, you are not alone in dreading christmas, so many people feel the same way, and you don't have to like it, it can be a very stressful time if you let it, last year i was still quite ill, and my family and freinds all knew this, so i cancelled christmas virtually, i did not send pressies, as i could not get out, apart from making a christmas dinner for hubby and my son, i just let it pass, as i could not take any more anxiety, now this year i am looking forward to it, but if you are not just explain how you feel, people will understand, and don't put yourself through any more stress hope this helps x

[akira]

Hi Patricias,

I've grown to hate this time of the year. Mainly it's the growing stream of adverts telling you all the things you need to buy for Christmas. Also, like you I feel like I have to pretend to be happy as everyone around me seems unnaturally cheery. I'm hiding from Christmas this year and house-sitting/looking after dogs for my parents.

I think it's natural to enjoy it less each year. Unless I have children I won't enjoy it as much as when I was younger.

Akira

[patricias]

i used to love xmas, but i lost all my family in one swoop. and i mean everybody. some years back my mum came to live with us, but unknown to me she was living in some sort of parrelle world, and where i thought we were all happy she didnt and was telling everybody who was related to me that i was treating her cruellly and stealing her money, ect ect. all very untrue, the detalis are unbelievalbe. then i got a letter from my sister in austrailia who in a very long detailed manner desbribed to me all the things i had apparently done to her. it was out of this world what she said, but rather than to keep it between ourselves she sent duplicate copies to all our relatives plus my own children. luckily my 2 daughters knew the truth and stood by me. but out of every living relative on all sides believed my sister, this all happened within days, a real shock to the system. then my mother ran off to my brother with his help because he thought he was rescuing her. i never saw her again and i thought we used to be very close. anyway she died shortly afterwards and they kept her death from me so i never made the funeral. but unknown to me they didnt want me there. christmas comes along and it tore my sole out even more that it was because it used to be such a family affair. this it a short version and i feel very brave writing this down. christmas time hurts more than any other time.

[Bruno58]

patricias

Yes you are brave and I think you have moved forward, well done...

I don't like xmas either as it happens, used to but the magic has gone now, its just us getting older I think.

I think I've managed to forget the good times with family as most of them are gone now, try not to worry too much it happens one way or another to us all.

J.xx

[brambles]

I also don't like Christmas. I despise the commercialisation of Christmas, as well as every other holiday (M&S sells Halloween Easter eggs)

I'm turning into Scrooge!

[akira]

patricias, sounds like you've been through a lot, to say the least. It's good that your daughters stood by you. Lots of people struggle at Christmas because it reminds them of times when they were happier and things were better. Try to focus on the positives, like your daughters.

[panicpanda]

Sorry to hear about your mum and family situation, that's awful. :hugs:


You're not alone in disliking Christmas though, I can't stand the pressure to be happy and eat sprouts.
Bah Humbug!

[Anxious_gal]

Wowee, you could make a movie of out your story, it's just so extreme!
Glad you have your daughters, you know what your family is dysfunctional , it's not your fault, they are using you a a scapegoat, so best off avoiding them, because they need to you to be the bad person, now that they have chosen that role for you, there is not a thing you can do, you could be the most perfect person in the world, and they would still twist every to make you look evil.
It's bullying, just like teenagers gossiping in high school.
They get sympathy and pity and then by playing the victim.
You have to wonder how awfully messed up and sad they'd have to be to act such a way, that they can only get their own needs met through lies and manipulation.

Don't ever let them bring you down, you are your own person, you are not who and what they say you are x

Ugh Christmas, it makes me sad in a way, I don't get on with my family, and I am undecided on if I will avoid my family this year, I don't want to deal with the insults and feel bad but then by not going I will give them even more ammunition to use against me :(

A fun thing to do is buy and send out charity cards, It's for a good cause and most people enjoy reviving a card :)
Even my cat gets a card every year from the food brand Whiskers hehe

[haz]

I'm starting to worry about Christmas and New Year, I hate it! Always have, my parents always used to argue on xmas day when I was a child due to my Dad's drinking. It's so stressful, everywhere is so busy. There's such a pressure on you to have a good time. I was in a psych ward last xmas and New Year. The week before christmas, the whole psychiatric ward was full!! My three favourite days of the year are Boxing Day, 2nd January and the day after my birthday!

I just can't handle the stress although I do love the Sales, online though cos I'm agoraphobic!

[Magic]

I don't want to sound miserable. BUT I don't like Christmas--for the simple fact that of all the work it involves.
I have been selfish this year. I have cancelled the visitors I have had for over a hundred years on boxing day.
For one thing we cannnot afford it--- and I am getting vouchers for presents.As for Christmas cards. The postage cost more than the cards.
It sounds awful but I am having a change.Sorry no offence to those who like Christmas xx

[theharvestmouse]

I don't like christmas because of the family get togethers. ANother year of me being at a family get together on my own, no girlfriend and never have had one to introduce to family. I can't bear it anymore, its humiliating.

[Meewah]

Having a young family I should be able to make it good for them. I hate it too, it is when my dad had his heart attack and I feel that it is a very social time and so I want to hide away until boxing day.

I am starting to get worked up now just thinking about it.

Mee xx

[miss_moose]

Oh i'm so glad others feel like this too. Christmas is so hard when you are depressed, or like me and many others here, have social panic.

Last year I spent most of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in a hotel room alone as we'd gone to visit my fiances family (an hour away) and I'm way too panicy to spend time with them so he left me in the hotel while he had quality family time.

I'm really anxious with just my family and they always come to our home because it's too difficult for me to go to theirs. So we have Christmas afternoon and evening with my family (Most of which i spend panicking, in tears and in our bedroom).

It's reassuring to know i'm not the only one:bighug1:

[oh no_1]

im panicking about xmas... especially the work xmas doo..... quite new to my job as not so long since qualified and dont know the staff that well and im kind of at my lowest at the moment too and the xmas due is in 5 weeks.

[amandah]

Hi I think most people feel this way. Christmas can be a stessful time. But just take it easy and get some rescue remedy & kalms, or see your Gp . Take a day at a time. Regards amandah

[ronski]

Christmas can be the loneliest time of the year for many people and that is extremely sad. I think the real meaning has gone out of Christmas and people's expectations are higher. I love Christmas Eve and Boxing day but Christmas day I could easily wipe from the calendar. I get called Victor Meldrew by my daughters but it's over commercialised, starts to early and all I want is normality not people cackling in my ear wearing stupid paper hats and telling jokes from crackers. Yes I have turned into Victor Meldrew or maybe Bad Santa ha ha.

[margrtking]

.I hate xmas too and i won't be getting drawn into it either. As long as i have nice meat and a few tins of sweets and telly. I dont care, im like a frightened rabbit 24-7.So i won't be bought into it for xmas,not for no one. I really dont care what other people think of me. Let them waste their money and stress themselves out. BAH HUMBUG!!! lol. xxx

[sqeeker]

Why on earth should people feel that they have to apologise for not liking Christmas? It is, mainly, just another money making exercise, and an excuse for families to get together who cannot stand each other for the rest of the year! My moan is that everything closes down. If you need medical help you are lucky to get a doctor very quickly; if you want to travel and have no car then buses and trains are few and far between, if at all. The television is a load of old repeats of repeats. I call it a week of madness, but for some, especially children, it is, no doubt, a good time. Oh well! heads down behind the barricades and grin and bear it for a week. Oh Lord! I forgot the new year!!

[Artemisia]

My heart goes out to everyone who finds Christmas difficult.

I have no relatives at all now and no partner or kids, so I always find it hard to know what to do/not to do over the Xmas period.

I also work in a department store, so Christmas begins for me around the end of August. Holidays aren't permitted in December under any circumstances, so I am forced to remain at home (going abroad and ignoring it would be my first choice).

I really think a lot of people with a happy family life have no comprehension of how difficult this time of year can be for those on their own. I have spent Christmas in other people's homes, and whilst I'm hugely appreciative of their kindness, somehow it just makes it all worse - for the past three years I've spent the day on my own and it wasn't as bad as I was expecting, at least I didn't have to force myself to keep smiling all day!

I'm very lucky compared with a lot of people, and I know it's just one day, but I find the long drag up to it very depressing and draining - it makes me miss my family all the more and the media overkill/commercialisation of it has become really tasteless and overwhelming. I know one can keep busy and do voluntary work and so on, but that still doesn't take away the pain of missing loved ones/happier times more than ever at this time of year.

[Dont_look_at_me]

Christmas is a challenge for me also now, though I used to love it as a kid.
Now, I'm estranged from my family of origin due to their bullying attitude towards me, my husband has left, my dog has died, and I've lost my only friends. There's just myself and my son and we do the best we can. We will put up a tree, go to Church on Christmas Eve, and will watch Christmas shows, play Christmas music, and have a special picnic Christmas lunch on the day. But it's annoying all the questions from checkout chicks and such, based upon the assumption of a big family get-together, and "Have you done all your Christmas shopping yet?" People just can't seem to understand that some others may not do things like the majority.
Btw, the irony of all this is, that research shows that the only supernova that could explain the 'Star of Bethlehem' that happened around the time of the birth of 'Jesus' (real name Yeshua ben Yoseph), occurred in April, not December. Christmas is a mish-mash of Christian and old Pagan tradition - especially as regards to the timing.
The extreme commercialisation, and pushing such goods into the shops earlier and earlier, is so un-spiritual, it's not funny.
I can definitely relate to both your and Mishel's stories. And I also wrap up a gift for my dogs each year. One in particular, gets very protective of his. It's so funny to watch.
Oh, and I'm a veganish pesco-veg. so I don't do the big 4 meat hot Christmas lunch, and I won't eat crayfish (the new trend) as I don't like to support these poor creatures being boiled alive, so it's always a challenge as to what to eat that's special and different.

[Humly]

Dreading it.