Confrontation Anxiety

[Dan21]

Does anyone get anxious when either thinking about or experiencing confrontation.? I know everyone has some degree of anxiety in this situation (fight or flight and all that) but sometimes I think that the very idea of confrontation is enough to start me off on an anxiety attack.

For example. I work in a team of people and one of them had been a bit quiet with me for a few days. I started to think that I had done something to offend him and my mind started to race and I ended up having pretty gnarly anxiety for about two days. I asked him today if I had done something to annoy him or pi** him off. He said no, not at all. He’s continued to be aloof, but I guess I can rest knowing that it’s nothing I’ve done.

Anyone else have similar experiences?


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I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'

Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.

That would be nice.

[ItWillPass]

Dan... I can totally relate to your post. I have terrible confrontation anxiety. I think it has to do with low self esteem. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough to have an opinion. I just had a bad situation. I was offered two internships, I was so flattered, I basically implied to both places that I would be accepting their offer. I just could not speak up and say what I wanted. It was terrible. Finally I got the courage to accept one, and say no to the other. I know it seems silly, but sometimes when I have to be even somewhat confrontational I just freeze up. If I dont freeze up, I just talk and talk, and end up saying something stupid. I wonder what makes us feel so timid sometimes. When I am having fun with friends I am pretty outgoing... But when I need to speak up for myself, I am terribly shy. Strange.

Heidi :)

[mum2four]

I know exactly what you talking about I got so bad that the word NO or DONT would start my anxiety off and every negative word would increase my anxiety big time.

I have been on med's for about 9mth now and getting better but confrontion of any minor kind can still effect me. I have fear of hurting people which is th bases of my anxiety. I fear debating with people to the point of setting them off the hit me or me wanting to hit them which has never happed me hitting them anyway I have made people so angry that hit me but I have NO violence moral I sopose and No matter ther excuse hitting me is unaceptable. The problem with me is even after that hit me the fue time it has happen I will still find it hard to defend my self for fear of being stonger and hurting them more and being accused of asult with intent to kill basicly. I fear being locked up for I crime I did not commit and fear going insane if I did get locked up or even if I some hoe did kill or injure a person badly from defending my self. If my Life was truly in danger I hope I would feel different but I some how doubt that. I cant even convince my self to get my licence to drive in case I make a mustake and have accident and hurt or kill someone. I fear going to jail or going insane if I did.

MY fear of confrontation is basicly a fear of not being incontrol I sopose or more so lossing control. I have been diagnoised Obsessive compulsive because I will tap for fear having a confrontation with some one. Before my med's I was tapping at bus stops real bad for fear of screaming and debating at smoker's ect. I was tapping yesterday for the first time in long time in public and infront of person see regularly when she physicaly tryed to stop me and got flash of me hitting her or knocking her down and running away and freaking out but I ws able to stay but I snatch my hand back and as much as wanted to stop anoying her with my tapping I could not stop I was able with time to reduce the tapping to soffter taps but I took me longer to stop tapping fully. Before my med;s I would have got the intence need to run as soon and as the intence need to tap kicked in front of someone. I was basicl an adrophobic for 3 years as well so I was avoiding interaction nwith people BIG time so the need to tap in front of them was rare cause i was not near them long enought for them see buty the th urge was in my head as well as wanting tom rock or tap or self harm.

I dont know how bad your fear is but I hope it'snot as bad mine and either way I wish you well in finding your strenght to get back to a place where confrontation feel better more normal.

[May Day]

Hi Dan

the confrontation doesn't have to be something major for anxiety to rise again ... it can happen even at the lowest level .... this happened to me tonight in nothing more than a discussion with a very strong willed person ... i had put my view point over several times but felt the situation was heading for confrontation and i could almost instantly feel the anxiety symptoms kicking in ... under these circumstances where the problem isn't one of great importance i find it best to walk away from the situation ...

of course that isn't always possible especially when it comes to the work place and people in it ... i think you dealt with your situation in the best possible way as it gave you release from the worry ... low self esteem is a major cause anxiety in the work place

take care

May

The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun

[Daisybun]

yep i don't like confrontation either makes me feel quite sick inside. All part and parcel for me I think.

Daisybun


'This too will pass'

[pips]

Hi Dan,

I hate it to it makes me panic just thing about having a confrontation. Even if it's a perfectly reasonable request. I wind myself up and worry.

For instance my head of care where I work had done my rota wrong. I couldn't face her as i don't find her very approachable. So I wrote her a letter.

Then we had a 2 week Easter Break I spent the whole time worrying about when she read the letter and what would she say. Anyway when i got back to work she said I got your letter thanks and i realised i made a mistake!

So all that worrying for nothing! What wasted energy![Oops!]

Yet I still contine to do it! GRRRR:([V]
I think as sensitive sufferers we tend to pick up on peoples moods and if they arn't happy we do tend to automatically blame ourselves. When it isn't us they could just be having a S**T day or have problems of there own. Your right in asking him though and at least you have peace in knowing it's not to do with you.

Take Care,

Love PIP'S X

[KGreen]

I know what you mean, Dan and Heidi.
I think I'm a lot older than you, but I hear you on freezing up when I have to speak up, particularly if I suspect someone will confront me in return. And yes, I tend to hesitate, and hem and haw until the person suspects something is up.
I'm finding a lot of people here who are making me feel better and thank you for sharing. I know I have lots to work on!
KGreen