Worried i have breast cancer

[brooke]

I found a lump in my breast and ive been to the breast clinic who have confermd it is a lump and im now waiting for a appointment for a scan to see what kind of lump it is. They said i might have to wait 6-8 weeks. Since that day ive been worried sick and i cant stop crying. I'm trying to be strong but i keep thinking about cancer and i keep thinking im going to die. Ive near on told myself imgoing to die. Its killing me to think like this and the waiting game is driving me crazy.
Ive felt so unwell for around a year now and i keep telling myself thats why ive been feeling so ill, because its got to be cancer. I don't want to keep bringing it up to my husband as great as he is because he see's me breaking down all the time when he is home from work. Dont know what to do to feel possitive at all.:weep: I really don't want to die.

[beauty]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Firstly I'd like to say that you've done the right thing going to the breast clinic and you have taken control of the situation so it is in the hands of professionals. This in itself is more than most people would have done, many would have ignored the lump in the hope it will go away.

I once convinced myself I had a life threatening disease after having a blood test and had to wait 2 weeks for the results. Within this space of 2 weeks I became a nervous wreck and couldn't stop crying. It actually made me feel worse when I was around my boyfriend as I convinced myself I would die and therefore be leaving him alone and letting him down / or that he would choose to leave me when the results came back positive. In the end the results were negative so I needn't have put myself through that.

I can relate to what you are going through and the wait you have must seem so long but you must try to carry on until you hear. I know this is 100 times easier said than done, I know that myself.. My main advice is to avoid internet searches regarding statistics/symptoms etc, there is no reason to search for this as you have been to the breast clinic who are dealing with it and will tell you everything you need to know. Secondly remind yourself of how you have taken control of the situation. I think the scariest thing about illnesses is that you feel out of control of your own body, but the truth is you have taken control and so will the professionals. And finally try to block the negative thoughts, again I know how hard this is, but whenever you feel negative thoughts coming along about death etc, try as hard as you can to replace them with positive thoughts as statistically the chances of the lump being breast cancer are low and then the chances of this then leading to death are even lower.

Please try not to let this ruin your life for the time being, do all you can to live your life as normal like you usually would. Even if this means forcing and faking it to begin with you will hopefully find your mind starts to accept the wait and abandons the negative thoughts.

I hope this helps, please reply if you can x

[brooke]

Thank you so much beauty for replying. There is so much truth in what your saying and i know your right. It is so hard thinking positive, but i really am going to try because its affecting my life & i don't think my husband knows what to do all the time other than hug me when im crying. I'm so glad i can come here and talk to people like yourself with such good advise and make me take a grip of myself. Thank you so much:hugs:I'm not saying im cured but for now you've put a smile on my face and im thinking positive.
You are right about you should'nt look for information on the net which i have been doing everyday, i just havent been able to stop myself, but im going to try not to do it.

[AllInMyHead]

I was the same over last Christmas. My GP was concerned I might have MS (as was I, after googling). I had an MRI and had to wait what seemed like ages for the results because everyone had time off over Christmas. I was a nervous wreck, and convinced that the MRI was just a 'tick in the box', and that I had MS. Of course I didn't :blush:.

All I could think was 'what else could it possibly be?'. I guess you're thinking the same. Well, it could be lots of things, so try not to think the worst. :hugs:

[brooke]

O my word.... I've just had a good old cry again. I feel so daft to keep worrying. I guess i'm only human. thanks for the replys. They mean alot.

[beauty]

Hi Brooke,

I'm glad the reply made you feel a bit better. It really is so hard to keep out of your mind and sometimes you might have a good few hours where you manage not to think about it / something to distract you, but then it can all come flooding out like its compensating for the time you spent feeling calm!

I didn't mention in my previous post but please don't feel like how you are feeling is weird or paranoid. It sounds totally normal and I think most others would feel exactly the same in your position. For that reason you shouldnt worry about getting upset too much in front of your husband, as he is probably as concerned as you. Although I know what you mean, sometimes when I'm upset I prefer to be alone in fear of bringing others down / or getting more upset as a result of sympathy from others.

[brooke]

I looked into going privite today getting health insurance, so i would'nt have to wait so long to be seen for my scan. But it turns out because i have already found the lump they wont insure me:weep: I didnt realise i had to be in good health first. So i felt bad again. But i know i have to keep my chin up. Someone my husband knows went privite and they were seen and were sent for an operation within 9 days. She had Cancer, and has now been givien the all clear. So my husband spoke to me on his break saying he would pay for me to have insurance but hey never mind. back to square one waiting. :scared15:

[macc noodle]

Brooke

You could pay for a private mammogram which would cost around £300 - I do not know if this includes the consultation you would need after the actual mammo.

I think that having to wait 6-8 weeks after a lump has been discovered is an outrage and i would be back at my GP and ask for an urgent referral ie., within 2 weeks. Were you referred to the breast clinic by your gp after an examination?

I would be putting my energies in trying to be seen sooner than the period they have quoted if I were you.

Good luck

Macc Noodle
xx

[Janeeey]

Hi Brooke

just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear about your worry - anyone would be concerned its totally natural, even for those without HA. As others have said 9/10 lumps are in fact benign but of course its hard to think the best. I found a lump earlier in the year, my GP wasn't that concerned but did refer me to breast clinic -she said it would take 2 weeks but in fact I called them direct and they saw me within days, there and then I had consultation and mamogram and given the all clear. I agree its outrageous that you have to wait 6 - 8 weeks and I would speak to GP to insist its sooner - though appreciate your area may just have long waiting list.

Going private may not be an option but if you call BUPA or whoeever they will give you a breakdown of costs, I did this, though didn't need it in the end -- it starts of with consultation, then scan and then other tests if they feel you need it so can be expensive if you do need them all, but not so bad for just the scan - sorry if this is not helpful - I always want to go private for speed but can't really afford it.

Take care and do just chat to people on here when you need it xxx

[lelespears]

I agree. My sister found a lump and wouldn't wait for the nhs so got her dr to write her a referal to a private hospital in our city and she was seen and given the all clear within 2 wks.

Lele x

[Violet1]

I would say that considering you have to wait 6-8 weeks, they are not treating it as urgent which is reassuring. Obviously they Can't tell without seeing it on an ultrasound but they do get a pretty good idea by feeling it, however anyone with a lump goes for an ultrasound, even if they know it's nothing to worry about.

Personally I would probably go private. I don't think it will cost a huge amount, I should imagine the ultrasound might be £150 and you may need a consultation which might cost £100. I have always had scans privately, upper abdominal was about £60, pelvic was about the same. It may be a bit higher with breast as I should imagine the consultant does it. But from experience ultrasound doesnt tend to cost a lot. I would phone up bupa, or is it BMI now and ask for a quote, I have done this lots when it is something I'm extremely worried about.

[brooke]

Good morning all.
Well i took advice and called my doctors this morning and asked if they could help me to get seen quicker because its making my life unbearable right now. But they said that the Breast clinic will give me the appointment and sort it out there end and if i have no appointment by the end of the 6-8 weeks then they will contact them:ohmy: O my word, my doctors arn't even willing to help. Mind you i guess its not there fault?

I spoke to my husband about going privite and we just can't afford it, o well. i'll just have to wait. My silly mind is working over time.
Before this happend i kept getting a feeling of dread inside and feeling really scared for no reason. I never felt like this before and i spoke to my husband about how i was feeling, now i keep thinking something inside me was trying to tell me something was wrong, mad hey?
I'm just so greatful i have people on here to talk to, and able to hear other peoples experiences. thank you.

---------- Post added at 11:28 ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 ----------

I can't believe it. There is a god!

Ive just called the main hospital and spoke to a lady that deals with the scan and appointments, to ask how much longer id have to wait. She said around 6 weeks or within that time if they can.:weep: I went on to tell her i know so many woman are in my position & i know all of us are in the same boat with worry, but i'm finding it hard to live my life right now. She said let me look if there has been any cancelations (sorry i cant spell) and there has been one. I can't believe it!
So i'm going to be seen on the 3rd of November, i felt like i couldnt talk or breath. After the call i cryed so much with happyness:yesyes:Yay......
Fingers cross now and i'll be sure to update you with whats happening. :bighug1:

[AllInMyHead]

That's great Brooke, I was just going to suggest that you could try ringing the hospital direct. A wait of a week sounds much more bearable than 6-8. :).

[Button1]

I'm SO pleased! I've recently had alot of tests (for abdominal pain) and I know how unbearable it is waiting for appointments/ results. Do let us know how you get on- everyone will have their fingers crossed for you but remember it is SO much more likely to be nothing rather than something....x

[Janeeey]

So pleased for you - that is what I did rang the hospital direct and they saw me in a few days - made life so much easier, 6 - 8 weeks is too much for anyone! keep us informed, you will be fine i am certain and at least not so long to wait now xx

[lelespears]

So pleased!! It will be here before u know it,

Lele x

[eva82]

I'm so happy for you! That date is right around the corner so hopefully you will have some piece of mind in no time!!! Hugs to you! Xx

[beauty]

Thats amazing news Brooke! Well done on bringing the appointment closer that must be the biggest relief!

Keep us updated on your progress and remember were all here for you no matter what happens xx

[brooke]

Good morning.
Well i went to the hospital yesterday. Well the lump i had found turned out to be a cyst, so i was thinking o thats great news, but then she went on to check the rest of my breast and camr across another 3 lumps in a different part of my breast. She told me that she has to take photos of the lumps on the screen and send them to the specilist to have a look at.:unsure: She said it can take up to 2 weeks for the results to come back and i may need further tests on the 3 lumps. My husband, my baby and i went to the car and i just broke my heart.
I know i didnt have definate bad news, but i could'nt help myself. I could see in my husbands eyes that he was so worried and wanted to cry to but he kept strong for me and said come on i'll take you to dinner and home.
So now i feel like im in a worse place than i was before and christmas is only round the corner really and i don't want to ruin it if i do get bad news. :weep:
Just panicing all the time now, even though i know i shouldnt untill i get results.
Sorry for the long post.

[beauty]

Hi Brooke,

I’m so sorry to hear that having the appointment didn’t reassure you in any way, and in fact made you feel worse : ( I can imagine her finding the 3 other lumps must have been really hard to hear and its totally understandable that you are upset. You shouldn’t feel at all bad about getting upset in the car, or anywhere else. Getting openly upset really is the best thing – I can tell you that from experience as I’m very good at putting on a brave face in bad situations and looking like it didn’t even affect me, but then as a result it all comes flooding out later down the line in form of months worth of panic attacks! So don’t be afraid to cry.

It sounds like your husband is being really supportive and really cares for you which is great to hear and no doubt will help you greatly whatever the outcome.

As I said before try to do all you can to carry on with your life as you usually would – but without bottling it all up inside. It may help to set aside periods of time to allow yourself to think/worry about it – for example by having a moment to write down all of your worries and fears without having to stop yourself. You may find that this gets it out of your system for a while and allows you to have some worry free time afterwards. I understand it isnt always that clean cut though, sometimes no matter what you do your brain will just ‘want’ to worry and there’s no stopping it, or hearing/seeing something will prompt worried thoughts when you are least expecting it.

Again I’m so sorry to read your update but remember that it is still most likely that the lumps aren’t cancerous. For example the lump you found originally turned out to be a cyst so try not to think the worst. My thoughts are with you and please keep me updated on any news. xx

[kirstynic]

Oh Brooke, waiting is the worse thing even if you try and carry on as normal its so hard.

Were these 3 lumps only showing on the scan, so you could not feel them?

Just try and stay positive, easier said then done, and results normally tend to be back quicker then they say. I had a smear test yesterday as been having problems and waiting for results is not nice specially when you have HA as we have such a negative mindset.

[AllInMyHead]

Thinking of you Brooke. The next few weeks will take forever, but you'll get through it :flowers:.

Not going to tell you not to worry, because you will. But think of the 100s of posts on here from people who thought the worst, and then it turned out to be nothing. I'm looking forwards to the post from you in a few weeks when the results come back and you tell us it turned to be nothing to worry about :winks:

[brooke]

Thanks ever so much for replying Beauty.
I may try the writing down my feelings idea, because it can drive you crazy keeping everything in your head. The hardest thing i find is trying to keep it away from my 3 children. I don't want them to know anything untill i'm 100% of the results and whats going on.
I find myself one min doing the dishes and the next min feeling like i can't breath, my heart races like crazy. I really don't want to go to the doctor though, because i know it's just due to me stressing out. I have a major fear of death. Me dying or people i love around me. It's a fear that drives me mad at times, so this going on in my life has made it worse. :huh:

[spacebunnyx]

Hi Brooke,

Sorry to hear your results.. i just want to say that I had an ultrasound once on my breasts and was told I have "lumpy" breasts.. some women.. particularly before the menopause tend to be like that apparently.

Jess xxx

[lelespears]

Any news yet Brooke? X

[brooke]

Sorry i haven't been on for a while. Ive been really ill with a sickness bug and ended up in hospital. I collapsed. My husband called 999 and i was seen really quick, my blood preasure was very low so they took me to A&E:huh: The bug lasted for 7 days, ive never had a bug last so long ever!
Anyway i have an update. My letter came through and yes i need more tests. I go to the hospital this Wednesday morning. i have to have the neadle. I was wondering if they will test all 3 lumps at the same time? I guess i will have to find out on the day.
God im dreading it! and lastnight i broke down in tears again. its been in the back of my mind while i was unwell, but now it comes and goes again.:unsure:
All i keep thinking is 'Please god, i know i never ask you for anything and nor should i, but please can i keep my life and have these results come back clear'
I had my smear test results back and they are all clear, because in the past ive had a few abnormal ones and had to have a colopascopy (dont know how to spell that)
Hope you have all been well.:hugs:

[lelespears]

Hi

Sorry you've had such an awful time, hope your feeling better. I have everything crossed for you for Wednesday, I'm sure they will test all the areas the drs concerned about, By thursday you can put all this behind you.

Lele x

[lelespears]

How did the hospital go babe?

Lele x

[brooke]

Sorry ive only just been able to get on the computer today, ive been so busy.
It's fantastic news:D I went to the hospital and the woman drew fluid off all three of my lumps. It was a cloudy white colour. She said that she has done that and that my lumps are now gone. They were cysts. She says everything will be fine and i won't need to go there again. She said id recieve a letter from the specilist and that everything is ok and i don't have Cancer.
I didn't think that id be told that on the day i thought id of had to wait for more tests or something.
But god i am so happy and i feel like i have got my life back even though it hadnt gone anywhere.
Id like to thankyou all for being there for me and helping me through one of the most hard times in my life. I hope that i can help others on here.
Thank you.:bighug1:xxx

[eva82]

That's great news!!! What a relief...I had a breast cancer scare not too long ago and was so happy when I got the all clear!! I'm soooooo happy for you, I can tell this really was a difficult time for you but now you can breathe a sigh of relief, thank God for answering your prayers, and try to enjoy your life again. Xx

[kah]

Yay, I'm so pleased for you :D xxxxx

[pacer]

Brooke, i thimk the fact that you have to wait so long is a good sign. If the doctor was at all concerned he/she would have "fast tracked" you. I have had 3 breast lumps, went to the docs with allof them. The first one i had scanned and biopsied within a few weeks (all clear) the second just scanned and the third scanned and biopsied (all clear).
It's horrible waiting but if I can be of any solace i do know that most lumps are benign. xx

[lelespears]

So pleased for you!!!!!

Lele x

[Button1]

Brooke

I have been following your story- I am SO pleased for you. The relief must be IMMENSE! Have a fantastic and healthy Christmas!

X

[AllInMyHead]

That's fantastic news! Really pleased for you. I told you I was looking forwards to your 'all clear' post :D xxx

[beauty]

Yay thats excellent news!!! xx

[fiendclub]

That's so great, Brooke! What a relief!