Convinced that looking so young is causing alot of my problems ..

[SANick]

I feel like I will never be respected as a man because I look so young at 28, and when I say young I mean mistaken for a boy. Only this morning I answered the door to the Tesco Delivery man and he actually asked me 'is anyone else in?' I asked why and he said 'because you have to be 18 to sign for this'. It may sound funny but this kind of thing really gets me down, I mean im 28 years old! i could have my own house and family by now!

When I was 20 I went on holiday with a couple of friends in Turkey, when we arrived at the hotel everyone was greeted with a complementary glass of champagne, except me of course, I was given orange juice. Again sounds funny but yet again caused me great embarrassment.

I have never had a proper relationship, women just give me the 'awww isn't he sweet' like you would to a child. In fact i've only ever been hit on my females that are far too young for me, obviously assuming im around their age group!

All my mates say things like I should take it all as a compliment but clearly it is not. And if one more person this week asks me if im on half term I may just sceam! lol

Don't know if I put this in the right section, but seeing as social anxiety is what I suffer to a huge extent (almost housebound) i figured i'd put it in here.

[xhyperyogix]

hello. I'm 37 and still get asked for id all the time. its such a pain in the arse when sometimes I have to go to three supermarkets in a row for a bottle of wine!! still I certainly don't act my age, nor dress it because I look after myself. we were watching 10 years younger last night and bloody hell some of those people look sooooo old. now I'm beginning to like looking young!!

wait another ten years your mates will be jealous and wrinkle and it will pay off!!!

love hyper x

[Geoff2301]

Try to look at the positives rather than the negatives......... I used to be able to go through the under 16 turnstile to see Watford play when I was 25!!

[M155anthr0p3]

I think you should get a water pistol & spray them all in the face..
How VERY dare they :winks:

[SANick]

hello. I'm 37 and still get asked for id all the time. its such a pain in the arse when sometimes I have to go to three supermarkets in a row for a bottle of wine!! still I certainly don't act my age, nor dress it because I look after myself. we were watching 10 years younger last night and bloody hell some of those people look sooooo old. now I'm beginning to like looking young!!

wait another ten years your mates will be jealous and wrinkle and it will pay off!!!

love hyper x

Haha thanks, yeh the one positive that I draw from it is that one day I MAY be grateful for looking young.


Try to look at the positives rather than the negatives......... I used to be able to go through the under 16 turnstile to see Watford play when I was 25!!

Cheaper ticket's can't complain. No such thing as one of them at my club! I did used to get asked on the bus whether it was an adult or child ticket that I wanted haha.

[suzy-sue]

Try to look at the positives rather than the negatives......... I used to be able to go through the under 16 turnstile to see Watford play when I was 25!!

You only look 45 Geoff so for 57 thats pretty good still ..:yesyes:
Lots of men would give their right arm to be able to look so young .Think what fun you could have if you were free and single ...:winks:

[mike83]

If you don't shave for some time it will probably make you look older.

[SANick]

If you don't shave for some time it will probably make you look older.

Tried that mate but unfortunately none of the males in my family grow much facial hair, we are all youthful looking but I take it to the extreme. Maybe it will get thicker with age but I doubt it.

[PanchoGoz]

Tried that mate but unfortunately none of the males in my family grow much facial hair, we are all youthful looking but I take it to the extreme. Maybe it will get thicker with age but I doubt it.
I'll get the face paint!

Ah mate, however low you consider yourself to be on the attractive ladder, there will always be people lower. Not trying to guilt trip you, but there are people out there with noses growing out their ears and cleft lips and albinos and bearded women and conjoined twins. Having a babyish face, if you think about it, is not the worst thing you could have. Consider yourself lucky, if not, blessed! And think about poor old me, who has got herself a reputation as the village witch D:
Now i think about it, how do conjoined twins get partners?

---------- Post added at 20:54 ---------- Previous post was at 20:51 ----------

Oh and Pleeease change your name. Everytime you log on you are forcing in negetive vibes to youself with your own username choice. A self depricating name like that is not a good place to start! If you change it, I will consider yourself on the way to getting better :)
Take care mate.

[Jack1231]

Mate i used to have real bad social anxiety, now i'm really confident. But it only happened because i put a lot of effort in. It WILL happen to you if you work your way up logically.
You may be tempted to give up, but visulise how much happier you would be. Keep thinking about the happiness you would gain from it. The next thing you need is pure determination.
Most importantly, put yourself in situations that you don't enjoy through social anxiety. Eventually you will get so bored and frustrated of the feeling it gives you you won't feel it anymore. Good luck.

---------- Post added at 22:45 ---------- Previous post was at 22:44 ----------

Message me if you want help in private

[Anxious_gal]

I think is hard for me to fully understand as you speak of wanting to be viewed as a man :) most women luv to be asked for ID, I get asked if I am doing my high school exams n I do like that!

I have a friend who looks rather young and innocent , needless to say he can get away with anything and the ladies adore him.

I think that embracing this you can turn it around :)

[SANick]

I'll get the face paint!
Oh and Pleeease change your name. Everytime you log on you are forcing in negetive vibes to youself with your own username choice. A self depricating name like that is not a good place to start! If you change it, I will consider yourself on the way to getting better :)
Take care mate.

Haha well when I change my name you will know, if it's even possible to change your name on here?


I think is hard for me to fully understand as you speak of wanting to be viewed as a man :smile: most women luv to be asked for ID, I get asked if I am doing my high school exams n I do like that!

I have a friend who looks rather young and innocent , needless to say he can get away with anything and the ladies adore him.

I think that embracing this you can turn it around :smile:

Haha yeh the irony is my younger sisters get jealous when people assume i'm younger than them, must be a women thing!

If I could stop feeling so anxious and worrying into everything maybe I could embrace it but I just dont seem to be able to switch off. Anyway I shall stop wallowing. :wacko:

[theharvestmouse]

I also faced this problem growing up, well you do feel like its a problem because it has lead me to have some horrible embarrassing moments and humiliating times as well.

So you are not alone in being baby faced, theres more of us out there. When I was in Italy when I was nearly 18 an American girl said she thought I was 11 years old, I wanted to curl up and die right there and then. The number of times I could not go into nightclubs because they were over 21, I lost count, and I used to have to endure having to show ID everywhere, in a crowded pub or bar this is not the greatest feeling. So in the end i suppose it caused me some anxiety but I do not think its the sole reason for my problems or yours.

On the positive side of it, despite looking so young I always have had girls finding me attractive, there are girls out there who like baby faced men. I'm 30 now and people think I'm early 20's and thats a positive thing.

Don't look at this as a cause for your anxiety, its not the sole cause, yes it might bring you embarrassing moments but then other people have them as well for different reasons.

[saro]

At least you know that with age it will get easier :)

[starfighter]

I'm 36 and suffer the same, sales man asking if mum or dads in lol I just say no bye lol. I dont really get it in shops now when buying beer etc, because I have 2 kids in tow and they ob make it look like im over 18.
I used to have awful trouble speaking in public and stuff and now I'm a teacher and confident too. I still have certain situations im not great in, but you have to remember the more you do it the more you get used to it, set small acheiveable goals for yourself.
Don't worry about the age thing, its annoying yes, embarrasing, sometimes, but at the end of the dayI bet 90% of all humans at some point in their lives wished they looked younger, no one ever wished they looked old.

[Dont_look_at_me]

Hi BFL,
I'm in my late 40s and had this problem ALL my life. I know exactly what you mean about lack of respect. Society is always raving on about all women wanting to look young but it's a load of crock. (I do realise you're a man btw.) I couldn't wait to hit 40 so I could finally have that to throw back at them when they made their stupid comments. When people see you as young, they assume you are naive too, which I found endlessly irritating.
However eventually you do get old enough that ageing has to be acknowledged as there are changes like silver hair, sagging and so on that come into play. But even then, I find, people continue to mould their reactions to a degree, based on face shape and how hard versus 'soft'-faced one looks.
Maybe you could add a few touches of silver to the sides of your hair? Maybe that'd help? And if you don't already, maybe work toward some impressive off-campus study goal or something so that when they do treat you like a child, you can shock the pants off them.

[brambles]

I'm a bit like this too. I detest being treated in a patronising manner because I'm just a "stupid kid". I find it's worse at builders/timber yards because the rest of the blokes there are tradesmen, and then there's me. BUT I know that I'm probably more skilful at joinery/cabinetmaking than a lot of them. Still doesn't make a difference to how I feel though...