weevil
29-10-11, 18:15
There's times I've given up on things or run away and regretted it, then there's times when it was absolutely the best thing to do and staying put made me feel so much worse.
I don't know which one it is, I get worse every year, I wanted to go back to Uni after the first time and did it eventually last year. It went badly, I got a second chance but in the meantime have become even worse and mad terrible mistakes. My living situation is worse than last year, I'm a complete moron for trying to live with another person again, I know it makes me uncomfortable and I hate it a lot. I can't do anything I need or want to in this place because it's not allowed or there's no room, I'm so better off on my own and being nearer to civilisation, I need my car to get anywhere at the moment.
Then there's uni, I can't even make it into lectures at the moment let alone the much scarier seminars and group work. I'm completely terrified of being around other people. I feel lonely, I'm completely on my own but also don't want to be near people I'm not comfortable with. I can't stay anyway if it turns out that student finance can't give me the loan for all the tuition fees I'm still waiting to hear on that. I'm considering my only option left is Open University as I wouldn't have to deal with people much, and moving back in with my Mum even though I'm way too old for it and would feel like a massive loser at least I'd be more comfortable and wouldn't be completely alone.
I have good professional support here but it's all tied to the Uni so I'd lose it all if I couldn't stay. It's better than I'd get if I moved back home. But also it still doesn't replace actual friends.
I don't know which one it is, I get worse every year, I wanted to go back to Uni after the first time and did it eventually last year. It went badly, I got a second chance but in the meantime have become even worse and mad terrible mistakes. My living situation is worse than last year, I'm a complete moron for trying to live with another person again, I know it makes me uncomfortable and I hate it a lot. I can't do anything I need or want to in this place because it's not allowed or there's no room, I'm so better off on my own and being nearer to civilisation, I need my car to get anywhere at the moment.
Then there's uni, I can't even make it into lectures at the moment let alone the much scarier seminars and group work. I'm completely terrified of being around other people. I feel lonely, I'm completely on my own but also don't want to be near people I'm not comfortable with. I can't stay anyway if it turns out that student finance can't give me the loan for all the tuition fees I'm still waiting to hear on that. I'm considering my only option left is Open University as I wouldn't have to deal with people much, and moving back in with my Mum even though I'm way too old for it and would feel like a massive loser at least I'd be more comfortable and wouldn't be completely alone.
I have good professional support here but it's all tied to the Uni so I'd lose it all if I couldn't stay. It's better than I'd get if I moved back home. But also it still doesn't replace actual friends.