Is this just me or is it a social anxiety thing

[PinkRoxy]

Ok whenever I get invited by friends to go into town or to a party or a movie I tend to turn them down. I think of the idea and think about it but then when it gets closer to the time I tend to turn them down.

I feel like its something I dont feel like doing and it makes me feel uncomfortable, its like I desperately want to make friends and keep my friends or even have a relationship but I always turn them down in the end and I think its an anxiety thing because I start to panic a bit when I get invited to do something and I say yes.

Its kind of like going to the gym you dont feel like going but you know if you do you will feel better afterwards.

I dont know know what is wrong with me because I feel like I need to socialise because I am getting depressed alot lately at first I put it down to pms but now that is controlled with the contraceptive pill I still feel down alot and depressed and I have a feeling alot of it is to do with a lack of social life and I know I need to fix it but then I get anxious and feel uncomfrotable when I plan something with friends.

Does anyone else feel like this? and how do I overcome it?

[johnno]

i feel like this constantly :)

---------- Post added at 01:15 ---------- Previous post was at 01:13 ----------

I dont think there is any one answer for anyone for me ive done everything to help my fear ive worked in a bar to make myself more comfortable with people tried therapies, relaxation, meditation, cbt, etc and this can work for some people its enough for them to realise as the fear isn't really deep, I would say try socialising with the anxious feeling and see how you feel whilst there

[PinkRoxy]

Its so annoying aye.

It feels like I am pretty much throwing my life away down the toilet because I dont have any special relationships with anyone, and yet I cant bring myself to improve the situation. grrrrr :(

[johnno]

yeah i know what you mean i'm like that with women when it comes to dating i feel like i want to be with someone but then when im with someone i'm scared and insecure. its like im scared theyll see the vulnerable side to me and ill freak them out. i guess thtas what im ultimately scared of people reacting negatively to me

[PinkRoxy]

thats my problem too. I feel like I am going to get rejected and not be liked enough and then they wont want to be with me or hang out with me.

I am terrible with relationships but at 25 I am getting to a stage where I would love to have the most sweetest guy to wake up to every morning to cuddle upto while atching tv and to spend most of my time enjoying life with them, but I know I got to face the scary stuff first before i get to that stage of a relationship.

[johnno]

:) when was last time you socialised ?

[PinkRoxy]

I socialise casually at work but actually doing something I cant really remember I think it was a couple of years ago. But I do occasionally its just hard to do it because I am scared of things. I know Ive become quite socially withdrawn.

[johnno]

yeah its soo hard i mean i net a girl the other night and just the awkwardness i feel is so frustrating. I find it hard to make eye contact, find it hard to think of things to say, find it hard to laugh when i feel so tense, cant switch off negative thoughts and its pretty difficult trying to socialise when all of this is going on

[PinkRoxy]

yes exactly. Its really annoying because I feel like a stupid 13 year old when it comes to relationships infact I am probably just as inexperienced as one in fact they would be more experienced than I am.

I need to feel relaxed and at east when I am out with someone and socialising and sometimes it comes naturally and then mostly I struggle and feel like I am making things awkward because I generally feel uncomfortable and shy and that the person doesnt like me.

Thanks heaps for your comfort by the way. I am more frustrated at myself than anything because I use to always feel that noone likes me but now I know its my fault and that is not the case its me who is socially withdrawing from everything.

[johnno]

its not really your fault that you have social anxiety.but i see what you mean maybe socialising will help :) its very very frustrating lol you should check out mooji on youtube hes got some interesting stuff

[PinkRoxy]

Thanks. I will do.

[Dont_look_at_me]

I've been turning down party invitations and avoiding anything with social mingling since I was a little kid! If it's a one-on-one thing I'm fine. And yes, it's a social phobia symptom.