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millym
31-10-11, 14:18
Been off my work due to bullying by a colleague, been to Occupational Health, all the managerial meetings and finally, mediation. I was reluctant to do so but keen to show her how hurt and humiliated she had made me numeorus times over 5yrs. The mediation was worse than I could ever have imagined, after going through the events of the previous years,my work colleague laughed and called me a "complete liar" and that I had totally imagined all the things she had said to me. Also that I was paranoid and all my work colleagues were talking about me. You can imagine the effect that would have on anyone, but I have been depressed for many months because of this person, culminating in me being off work. I burst into floods of tears but managed to say to her that the only good thing was she had always made humiliating comments in front of an audience, so they must also be paranoid! My manager has said that the mediation was the last thing my company can do (they have ignored my complaints over the previous 5yrs and basically stuck their heads in the sand while I became ill) and are putting pressure on me to go back. My union are useless and I feel so alone. I enjoyed my job but the thought of working with this horrible person again and everyone talking about me is making me physically sick with worry. I know the "easy" thing to do is walk away but I've lost all my confidence and self-esteem and don't think I could even apply for another job never mind going to an interview :weep: Can anyone offer advice or help me see things a bit clearer - please??

paula lynne
31-10-11, 15:39
Im so sorry youve had to put up withh bullying, thats disgusting. I hope this person gets exactly what she deserves. Grrrrrr.

I think youve lost all confidence and self-esteem because of the situation. Remove the situation, and you will feel better. You are having a reaction to the situation.
I would seriously think about taking a deep breath, and start looking for other work if you can. Sure, the interview process is scary, but it will mean you are on the road to feeling better, being proactive. A new job could open wonderful opportunities for you, personally and professionally. Are you in a union by the way? For your company to ignore legitamite complaints from you over a five year period is against the law in fact.

Your other option is to stay where you are and front it out. Show her she means nothing to you, and be the best you can be at your job. If she continues to make comments that effect you, say in a loud clear voice "Do NOT speak to me that way"...make sure you get the attention of anyone nearby. They say others only make us feel a certain way if we let them...........good luck with your decision. Books on improving self worth and self esteem are available from your library, just a thought.
Paula x