View Full Version : Practicing acceptance for panic and anxiety - tips appreciated.
After another really horrible reaction to an ssri I have decided that the only option for recovery from my panic disorder and anxiety is to go it alone, which will be tough, but worth it I feel.
I have subscribed to the CBT4Panic online CBT course as endorsed by those at No More Panic and I am trying my hardest to implement the steps outlined on there and having a bit of success. I am just coming out of a very dark place and working hard to get myself - slowly - back into the land of the living.
I know it's not going to be easy and sometimes I will think there is no hope, so I'm on here asking for any encouragement from those who have travelled this bumpy road. Any advice or tips that you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Just for extra info, my main anxiety and panic symptom is nausea and as i'm emetophobic this is very challenging for me to deal with day to day, but I am getting through. The panics have not decreased in number as yet, but they have decreased in intensity although I am still pretty much agoraphobic which I will also be working on.
I will drop by and let you know how I get on. :)
Aw glad to hear you started the CBT4PANIC rocklover!
Personally I am noticing a gradual change. At first I was like "I'm cured!" but then as challenges were thrown at me over the next couple of weeks, I had a few setbacks which is normal.
I found the setbacks really hard, because they can feel 'worse' as you thought you were doing so well understanding panic etc, and you worry you'll be stuck the way you are forever.
But as time goes on, you'll notice more and more that - like you say - the intensity of the panics decrease, might still be there and still horrible but you can mostly rationalise to yourself what is happening, which stops the panic escalating to what it would have before you learnt the CBT.
And as THAT happens, you're more able to 'accept' that it is anxiety - because you've experienced the sensations several times but have been able to 'cope' with them, and tht helps you figure that they really are related to anxiety! This is what I am finding at the mo anyway. xx
Aw glad to hear you started the CBT4PANIC rocklover!
Personally I am noticing a gradual change. At first I was like "I'm cured!" but then as challenges were thrown at me over the next couple of weeks, I had a few setbacks which is normal.
I found the setbacks really hard, because they can feel 'worse' as you thought you were doing so well understanding panic etc, and you worry you'll be stuck the way you are forever.
But as time goes on, you'll notice more and more that - like you say - the intensity of the panics decrease, might still be there and still horrible but you can mostly rationalise to yourself what is happening, which stops the panic escalating to what it would have before you learnt the CBT.
And as THAT happens, you're more able to 'accept' that it is anxiety - because you've experienced the sensations several times but have been able to 'cope' with them, and tht helps you figure that they really are related to anxiety! This is what I am finding at the mo anyway. xx
Yeah that's what I was thinking, it will be a gradual change. Apart from the panic attacks (which happen at home every day, or when I'm out, so I have no "safe place") I have extremely severe anticipatory anxiety which makwes me feel very sick most of the time. This makes it extremely difficult for me to deal with each day as I have a phobia of being sick.
So I am also practicing acceptance for the anxiety as well which is bloody hard, trying to accept that you don't care if your worst fear happens to you is a biggie, but that's what I'm aiming for. My days are really up and down at the moment and the way I feel see saws quite alot. But I have been to collect my daughter from school for 2 days in a row which is a major achievement for me, especially as today I nearly had a panic because I was feeling so sick, but I dealt with it..yay!
I know that because my anxiety is so severe that it will take a long time to "reset" my brain, so I'm in this for the long haul.
Yeah that's what I was thinking, it will be a gradual change. Apart from the panic attacks (which happen at home every day, or when I'm out, so I have no "safe place") I have extremely severe anticipatory anxiety which makwes me feel very sick most of the time. This makes it extremely difficult for me to deal with each day as I have a phobia of being sick.
So I am also practicing acceptance for the anxiety as well which is bloody hard, trying to accept that you don't care if your worst fear happens to you is a biggie, but that's what I'm aiming for. My days are really up and down at the moment and the way I feel see saws quite alot. But I have been to collect my daughter from school for 2 days in a row which is a major achievement for me, especially as today I nearly had a panic because I was feeling so sick, but I dealt with it..yay!
I know that because my anxiety is so severe that it will take a long time to "reset" my brain, so I'm in this for the long haul.
Well done for picking up your daughter! It's achievements like that which make you realise you ARE learning how to cope :) Onwards and upwards!
I totally get what you mean about the "acceptance" thing. I think where I was going wrong was, I was trying to accept the horrible feelings as if, "I don't mind if I feel horrible all the time" - because that's a lie, we are bothered otherwise we wouldn't want to get rid of anxiety! lol. What is actually meant by acceptance is, you're accepting the symptoms are caused by panic , not trying to accept the fact of feeling rubbish forever. When this is understood, and you don't 'fear' the sensations so much, they fade (because your adrenaline/anticipatory anxiety fades)
Does that make sense?
Thanks Potato, it really helps to encourage when you find someone else who understands.
I have just finished reading "At Last A Life" by Paul david, which is essentially giving the same message as CBT4PANIC, acceptance and giving yourself time is the way to recovery. The book made alot of sense to me and I'm ready to start moving forward, I will not lose my fear of the symptoms straight away, but I can feel that the fear is lessening slightly.
I managed to halt a panic attack this morning by not doing much really, except telling myself everything was ok and just going with the feelings, it barely peaked at all. I am having peaks of anxiety at intervals today, but I am just letting them be and not giving them the attention I have been and I feel a bit better for it.
I have hope again and it really does make a difference.
I think you have to accept that it doesn't go away quickly and it does not go away forever.
But it gets easier and the anxiety attacks get rarer with more happier times between the attacks.
But to get better you have to accept you are ill and you need support (whatever method you wish to try) and that you might have to try various methods to climb out of the anxiety black hole.
Also it never really leaves you BUT you get to recognise the signs and you learn from it each time. And it doesn't consume your life as much.
I know if I start getting those tingling feelings and wanted to scream my way out of my own body then I need to get my own anti-anxiety tactics up and running.
You have blips but they are blips.
Lots of luck
Hi Sam
I understand that you feel that panic does not go away forever because as you say you 'still feel those tingly feelings and want to scream'
Can I add from personal experience and from helping hundreds of people recover, panic and it's related symptoms CAN 'go away forever' in the sense that you can get to the point where you will have pretty much the same levels of anxiety that anyone can experience - without it ever reaching the levels that lead to wanting to scream.
I am saying this because it is important for people to know that this is not something you have to 'live with forever'. Panic is relatively easy to treat (compared to other disorders which have deep seated core beliefs at their center) Of course how quickly one recovers can vary according to how long one has had the problem.
But panic can most definitely be treated successfully. I absolutely know - for certain that I can never have panic disorder again. Panic disorder is maintained by certain misinterpretations of harmless (but frightening) symptoms of fight or flight. Once you completely understand this and you have practiced implementing particular skills - in VERY particular ways - you can reach the point where it would be impossible to get caught up in the fear cycles again - since the fear cycles require a certain lack of understanding in order to take hold.
I realise that anyone who reads this whilst in the midst of panic disorder will find it very difficult to believe - I know I would have years ago.
Thanks for all the replies. I am feeling that things are improving (despite feeling a bit yuck today), yesterday I went into town for the first time in a month and didn't panic. I also went to the supermarket and local shop whilst not feeling 100% and I didn't panic.
Last night I ate a full meal for the first time in ages as I never feel hungry enough usually, as I just eat because I have to. I actually enjoyed my meal which is a huge thing for me.
This morning I am not feeling quite as good, but again I managed to catch the panic attack before it really got going and it was really only what i would term an anxiety attack, so I am very impressed with myself.
Today I am feeling sick, which I don't like, but I am trying not to dwell on it and to just get on with things, hopefully things will improve as the day goes on. I hope that I am moving towatrds true acceptance and not caring about the symptoms, I am not there quite yet, but I definitely feel like something has shifted within me.
Hi Sam
I understand that you feel that panic does not go away forever because as you say you 'still feel those tingly feelings and want to scream'
Can I add from personal experience and from helping hundreds of people recover, panic and it's related symptoms CAN 'go away forever' in the sense that you can get to the point where you will have pretty much the same levels of anxiety that anyone can experience - without it ever reaching the levels that lead to wanting to scream.
I am saying this because it is important for people to know that this is not something you have to 'live with forever'. Panic is relatively easy to treat (compared to other disorders which have deep seated core beliefs at their center) Of course how quickly one recovers can vary according to how long one has had the problem.
But panic can most definitely be treated successfully. I absolutely know - for certain that I can never have panic disorder again. Panic disorder is maintained by certain misinterpretations of harmless (but frightening) symptoms of fight or flight. Once you completely understand this and you have practiced implementing particular skills - in VERY particular ways - you can reach the point where it would be impossible to get caught up in the fear cycles again - since the fear cycles require a certain lack of understanding in order to take hold.
I realise that anyone who reads this whilst in the midst of panic disorder will find it very difficult to believe - I know I would have years ago.
Well now I feel like a failure. Thought I had been doing damn well holding down my job, looking after my kids etc for the last 5 yrs.
Well now I feel like a failure. Thought I had been doing damn well holding down my job, looking after my kids etc for the last 5 yrs.
I don't think Robin meant that Sam, what he meant was that it is possible for you to become completely anxiety and panic free permanently and not have to worry about it coming back, which would make life better for you. He suffered for years himself and is now free of it.
You are doing fantastically well (much better than me) and I think you should congratulate yourself at how well you're coping with such a hectic lifestyle. I really admire people like you and I think you should be really proud of yourself.
Sarah x
Hi Sam
Very sorry my response made you feel that - everyone here who goes through panic at whatever level are amongst the bravest people on the planet.
I wasn't suggesting that you personally had 'failed' at anything - from what you say you have done fantastically well
I was just adding - for those people who may think that the terrifying feelings 'never go away forever' that I know from personal experience that you CAN reach a point where you can actually be completely free of panic disorder.
I hope you will agree that if this really is possible it would be helpful for people to know that.
Years ago I also went through 5 years of severe panic and agoraphobia - and was not able to leave the house - you are actually dealing with panic 100 times more than I ever did - but when I recovered through CBT I reached a point where panic disorder is completely gone and I have also helped a great many people become panic free as well.
I can see how what I was saying may have upset you and I apologise for how I may have come across - it's not easy writing these posts to show exactly what one wants to say. I hope you can forgive the way I wrote it.
Sam, I totally agree with what Robin said, you are dealing with your anxiety much better than many people do, so again I reiterate, you should be really proud. I hope to be doing as well as you are one day.
I am actually having another fairly good day today, I have been out to a crowded supermarket to do some shopping with my partner and my baby son (I much prefer going out on my own so that I can escape without feeling a fool). I felt some mild anxiety from time to time and had a bit of nausea and a tummy ache which I successfully ignored whilst being aware it was there.
This may not sound much to some people, but considering I could not even leave the house at the beginning of the week and I had the WORST day of my life on Wednesday, I am quite frankly almost amazed at my progress. I will do my level best to keep up the acceptance, it's hard, but it works!
Hi Rocklover
That's great news - you are making incredible progress
I know you don't mind if I also add here that you are practicing particular techniques as outlined in the CBT programme - which is most important
I know you have been carefully following the techniques which is why you are making this progress.
Some people who don't know those techniques will have their own idea of what 'acceptance' might mean and they may understandably feel it is impossible.
It's so difficult to paint the full picture sometimes in a forum environment.
But well done again - keep up the practice :-)
Hi Rocklover
That's great news - you are making incredible progress
I know you don't mind if I also add here that you are practicing particular techniques as outlined in the CBT programme - which is most important
I know you have been carefully following the techniques which is why you are making this progress.
Some people who don't know those techniques will have their own idea of what 'acceptance' might mean and they may understandably feel it is impossible.
It's so difficult to paint the full picture sometimes in a forum environment.
But well done again - keep up the practice :-)
Thank you Robin, I am slowly learning not to catastrophise, even when I feel very afraid. I am aware that I will have bad days and I have to be ready for them, because I haven't completely lost my fear of my symptoms yet, it's only the beginning for me.
But I honestly think having such a horrible reaction to the verry low dose of Sertraline I took on Wednesday shifted something inside of me and I became determined to recover by myself. The experience crystalised for me the fact that I am the only person who can help ME, not drugs, not even counselling (although that helps to give you the tools to recover), it has to be my own thought pattern and behaviour that changes.
I will continue to read the books and get the information into my head so that I don't forget it.
Thank you.
Ignore me - I am not panicking. I am just grumpy today.
Nowt wrong with being grumpy Sam. I'm an expert at it as my poor family can attest to lol!
Ok, so today has not started too well, wasn't able to stop my panic attack this morning so had to work through it. Then had to take my daughter to the dr's at 9.10am which I knew would be a nightmare for me and my Mum offered to take her, but I had to do it myself...do or die so to speak.
So in the waiting room I was having a panic attack as we had to wait 15 minutes and my 9 month old son was being a pain lol which didn't help. But I had to stick it out because I couldn't run home, my daughter needed seeing to...so stick it out I did.
I wasn't there long enough for the panic attack to go, but I did calm down a little whilst I was talking to the dr and I am pleased that I managed to do it. I held on to this quote "keep calm whilst your body rages around you" which is exactly what a panic attack feels like and I managed to look calm despite the fact that inside I was terrified. I also tried to keep looking around the room and at my kids to focus outwards rather than concentrate on every symptom (the worst of which was a horrible churny tummy ache).
I still feel quite on edge now, but I am going to practice acceptance all day and hopefully the feelings should die down. I am very proud of pushing myself that far and I know that the trick is to keep doing it and I will get better.
Hi Rocklover
You are doing great
another thing that will start to REALLY help is if you change your language slightly
The fact is you are now facing and working through the feelings - you are getting out and doing things even while you feel the sensations
so.. instead of saying that you had a 'panic attack the whole time' you can more accurately say that you experienced fight or flight the whole time
can you see the difference?
when we are in panic we are usually so overwhelmed we are unable to even move or we have to retreat and so on
you aren't doing that - so you aren't going completely into 'panic'
yes - you are experiencing extreme 'fear' of the symptoms but that's different
so it's more accurate - and more helpful - for you to say from now on (to yourself) that you experienced whatever degree of 'fight or flight'
this will help to remind you of exactly what is happening and that it is scary but ultimately harmless
I have see this simple technique really help people - the words we use can make a big difference
and you are absolutely right - for now you won't be able to just turn it off - the memory is too strong for now - but the more successes you get the less fear you will have and the faster you WILL be able to bring the levels of anxiety down
You are doing REALLY well - honestly - and quite quickly to be honest
Keep at it :-)
Well, I have had an "on edge" day, but I got through it. Sometimes I'm trying too hard to accept, insteading of just being so to speak. I'm feeling fairly relaxed at the moment, so i'm hoping that will last, although evenings are often my best time.
One problem I have is that I'm still feeling apprehensive about the next day and I really want to get rid of that as if I expect to feel bad, I invariably do. It's very frustrating.
Well, I have had an "on edge" day, but I got through it. Sometimes I'm trying too hard to accept, insteading of just being so to speak. I'm feeling fairly relaxed at the moment, so i'm hoping that will last, although evenings are often my best time.
One problem I have is that I'm still feeling apprehensive about the next day and I really want to get rid of that as if I expect to feel bad, I invariably do. It's very frustrating.
Heya Sam.
You are right that you can try too hard to accept. With anxiety, you can try too hard at a lot of stuff. Like trying not to be anxious. A quote I read once, although easier said than done, is "Never try to do something. Just do it."
Think of acceptance as a negetive entity. Bu that I don't mean bad, but as a non existance of something else. You can see acceptance as a lack of fighting or dwelling. When you are not reacting to your symptoms, you know you are accepting them :)
Good luck and very well done for your progress!
Pancho
That's a good way of putting it - I must remember that :)
Well after 2 horrendous days I am having a more successful day today after initially waking up with a HUGE panic attack and expecting doom and gloom all day.
I followed the CBT4PANIC techniques (and yes it was bloody hard work weirdly considering you're supposed to be letting go) and I have managed to consign the sensations to the background and keep my unhelpful thoughts in check.
About an hour ago I felt the stirrings of another panic attack and initially thought "oh God, not again", but I referred to my little reference book and started allowing the feelings in and practice a little mindfulness and guess what? The panic quietened down!!! Ok, so it's not recovery by a long shot, but the fact that I have proved to myself that I CAN do it is invaluable.
I still feel very anxious, but I'm dealing with it and I know that if I get another attack later I will get through it no matter how awful it is. I saw my contact from the mental health team this morning (when I was panicky), luckily she came to visit me at home.
But she made me feel so much better about not being able to take SSRIs and is making me an appt with one of the dr's to discuss any alternatives if I want to try them. She also told me not to feel bad about resorting to diazapam yesterday and that it was ok to take extra help if I needed it. So despite feeling on edge, I am feeling a bit more positive today, no matter what happens I have achieved alot today. :)
Hiya rocklover
really pleased to hear you're making progress!! :D well done for keeping the panic reaction in check!! it's practice makes perfect from now on. Remember, each time you feel panic, just see it as an opportunity to practice what you have learnt, rather than "oh no!!" because, as you have seen, that's precisely the reaction panic needs to continue.
I'm improving each and every day, on a scale of 0-100 I'd say I'm 90% better now :) If I feel panicky or anxious (which is happening less often) it's usually in response to a memory or certain places... but, I'm able to put the CBT into practice and it works everytime now. I guess you get to a certain point where the CBT reaction becomes stronger than the default 'panic' mode.
I'd say the technique that helps me the most is to think "Am I catastrophising?" - for example, if I feel a little dizzy or nervous, I examine the thoughts that arise - i.e "oh no, whats wrong with me? am I ill? am I going to faint?" - and ask myself "am I thinking of the worst-case scenario?" if I am - then I know I'm panicking, which makes me feel better...if that makes sense? also, I tell myself I have felt this way before and nothing has ever happened, so I know its 'tricking' me. Hope that makes sense.
Keep up the good work!
Thanks Potato. I have a lot more hard work to do yet as I am still pretty much house bound, but I need to reduce my panicking inside before I progress further I think.
Today I think has been the first day where I have actually "felt" the change of the way I was thinking. Don't get me wrong I have been very agitated today, but the fact that I haven't lost control and catastrophised is a big step. I am still wanting to stop the panic rather than embrace it which I guess is only human, but I tried to overide that and was successful I think.
This morning's panic attack I just had to let go as I was too far gone to think straight, but as it died down I then started to use the techniques which have carried me through the day so far. As I said, not perfect, but a step forwards.
Well not having a great day today, started off with a huge panic because I felt so hideously sick. Since then I have been trying to let the panic exist in the background and i am finding it really hard.
The adrenaline just won't stop. I'm still practicing, but very fed up.
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