The Big Trade Off...

[Whitetrash]

So, Im a 27 year old living with OCD (Pure O)

I do the cycling thing, i have been on Sertraline for a while and im presently in my "drop it and move on" phase where i have tapered my does down over a couple weeks and i am now medication free.

So how do i feel?

Well, my most hated side effect is gone, i don't feel like a stranger in my own mind... Depersonalisation is just so draining for me hence i tend to give my meds up just so i can feel "myself" again.
However i also accept that the intrusive thoughts are in the post and on the way, the fear will creep back in and the panic attacks will soon cripple me and i will be sobbing to my doctor that i need my script back and i will once again go through the horrific onset side effects where i can barely stay awake, be tortured with head aches and sweat buckets.

So why am i doing this? Just for a few weeks holiday where i can feel (and i quote) "myself"


Has or does anyone else enter into this vicious circle?

[GT]

If you have any kind of OCD check out http://www.ocduk.org/
its a very good site and they have a forum like this,

You need to work on these thoughts and worries you have, my worries always centre around 'what if's' which cause me to panic, you have to ignore them or if not you have to be flippant with them, like if it says 'you are this or you are that' just agree with it and 'say yes you may be right about that'. or you could say 'really Mr OCD is that what you think, well i wont worry about that now as i don't feel it's as important as you seem to think' it takes the power away.

Check this site also its amazing http://www.ocdonline.com/articlesphillipson.php

Also the worry that the thoughts will come back will make them come back as your agreeing with your mind that something terrible is going to happen, so say to yourself 'ok thoughts do your worst' and if a thought comes say, 'oh that was a good one' they will fade quicker i promise, answer these thoughts but don't debate with them or try to understand them, as they are not in your control,

And remember everyone has weird thoughts the difference is people without OCD don't dwell on them, that's the only difference.