margrtking
06-11-11, 17:41
I have a thing about germs i do wash my hands alot and i wont touch things why i am out. I hate being out in public. Makes me nervous. I talk to myself alot to reassure myself on mak[ng silly decisions. It takes me ages to pick something to buy while im out and if there are alot of choices, if there are alot of choices i know directly i am going to be going through absolute HELL and that makes the situation alot worse. I can go in the same shop lots of times and hover around the item for ages picking it up putting it back ,going back out the shop and keep looking at the packaging and reading the writing on it over and over again and then walking out and doing it all over again numerous times. By the time i have finished im so wore out and in tears cause i know how ridiclous it is and i have security watching me and it makes me feel so guilty,even though i aint done nothing,i know it looks suspicious. I cant face everyday life as im scared something awful will happen and i have cut off my family cause i cant cope with their shit. Im always questioning myself if i have said the wrong thing even though i know i have said the right thing,it goes over and over in my head and it makes me have panic attacks. I dont trust no one and im a recluse. Anyone else like this.PLEASE i would love to know.