social phobic new mum

[cheekyjen]

Hi Everyone
I live in Nottingham and suffer very badly from social phobia. I have a premature baby who is now 7 months. I am struggling to get out with her and feel really guilty as I dont want my anxiety to affect my daughter. She is very special and I dont want her to struggle communicating with others like I do. I hate myself for not being able to get out and about with her as much as I should. I would love to talk or even meet up with others who understand and are having similar struggles. Feel very alone though I am blessed to have my baby girl.
jenny

[nomorepanic]

Hi cheekyjen

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[pinkdove]

Hi cheekyjen, and welcome to nmp, congratulations on the birth of you baby daughter, you will find lots of help and advice here, try reading some of the topics on social anxiety, and do not be to hard on yourself, have you seen your gp ? they may be able to help, or talk to friends or relatives. good luck to you x

[cathycrumble]

Hi congratulations on having your lovely baby.

I had social phobia really bad. I was bullied over my chin when i was a teenager and that caused me a lot of grief. I ended up haveing cosmetic surgery on the nhs. I was and still pretty and more so since the op. That does sound a bit big headed but it is true. but people are cruel and they can make you feel ugly.

However I am not blaming all my shyness on my chin, I had it reduced, and i was soo happy with the result. I had that done when I was 23. I am 58 now but I do look young for my age lol thank god :yesyes:

I would love to say don't be shy of going out and meeting people to save you all the misery you are feeling. But honestly I am fine now. I would say the way I conqued it was to put all my interest on the other people or person and forget myself. I also joined a drama group as acting was a passion of mine. It wasnt easy to do but there is a book out now feel the fear and do it anyway it's a good book.

I can honestly say put all your attention on the other person ask lots of questions about them and always remember if people are staring at you just say to yourself that they are thinking nice things about you because you are a special and nice person. which no doubt you are. Do you know I was so bad when I met my husband and the thoughts of going out for a meal with him as I Knew he was going to ask me on a date I had a mini breakdown as I couldnt even eat in front of may family and friends. And I did lose weight at that time. Sometimes I was so shy I used to shake and everything. but It is so true that YOU HAVE GOT TO PUT ALL YOUR ATTENTION ON THE OTHER PERSON AND FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF BE INTERESTED IN THEM. It really does work believe me. And everyone is shy deep down it is just that some people are good at hiding it I am still shy deep down put practice being relaxed and cofident does work until you say GOSH I am doing things I never thought i would do. good luck you will be fine

Cathy xx :)

[cheekyjen]

Thankyou for your reply. I have been to the gp many times in the past but I have never been given much help. Just feel that Im going to have to try and deal with it myself. But thank you for your support. It is nice to know that there are people out there.