bad time of year for my HA

[swgrl09]

Hi everybody, probably noticed that I have been posting a lot lately. It is getting to the holidays, and also the time of year last year where my mom was diagnosed with cancer and not long after (a month post-diagnosis) passed away. She had neuroendocrine carcinoma, and tomorrow is national neuroendocrine cancer awareness day, so I have been doing a lot to get the word out.

The hard thing is that my anxiety, especially health anxiety, is sky-rocketing now.:weep: I have been seeing a counselor, and I know that my anxiety gets worse because not only was it traumatic to go through, but my HA distracts me from dealing with the anger/sadness of losing my mom. It feels like a lose-lose situation, I can either be super anxious and feel crazy or I have to deal with an overwhelming grief. Just sucky time of year, I guess.

I just feel badly because its hard on my boyfriend, who I live with. He is so good and knows why I am getting more anxious, but just this morning I freaked about moles that he has not had checked. He was patient with me, which was good, but I am just going crazy and also worrying about my own health. I had all my checkups this year, im 23, and just fighting a tough cold but I am freaking out like crazy. It sucks.

Anyway I just wanted to vent, I know everybody is going throuhg a hard time here and I hope we all get through the holidays well. Thanks for all of your support.

[spacebunnyx]

Hi, i'm not sure what to say, but that maybe you are grieving and you are probably expressing it through anxiety... When I've got through a tough time in the past I normally start to get anxious a few months later.. its like a build up of emotion that doesn't know how to escape. It bubbles up as HA. Look after yourself, do the things you normally do, treat yourself, try to force yourself to be active and keep talking - about the HA or your mother. Keep going with the counselling. It will pass and you will be able to grieve normally.. I'm sure of it.

Lots of love

Jess xxx

[Fly away Katie]

I think this time of the year CAN be worse for anxiety.
Mine was so much better from January till around August time, and then it all came flooding back. No reason, it just did.
You're not alone xxx

[swgrl09]

Thanks, it is tough. I am not glad that you are all going through this too, but it is comforting to not feel as alone. This is the first holiday without my mom, and I feel like I literally am crazy sometimes. I am glad I can come here and not feel so insane.

I will probably be posting a lot more as the holidays get closer, be ready!!! haha.