This has to cancer surely, PLEASE HELP ME.

[merrysee]

Hi there, well here's my story, i've been suffering terribly with health anxiety for the last couple of years, but this last 6 months have been utter hell on earth for me.

I fell pregnant in January this year, in May i discovered a lumpy area in my right breast, i had a scan and normal pregnancy hormonal findings were found, however a few months later a noticed in the same breast that my nipple looked different, sort of tilted in a different direction, but still responded to touch and temperature, and sometimes just appeared normal, i went back to my gp and was referred again for another scan, as before all normal findings.

Since about August i've been having more issues that are without a joke ruining my life, and i've convinced myself i have breast cancer that has spred to my bones, and that i'm going to die and leave my 3 beautiful children behind without a mummy.

Since August along with the nipple change my right breast has been aching so bad, as well as my right shoulder, armpit, & shoulder blade, the pain is constantly there, altough i'm able to sleep through it, the pain radiates down my arm too, i've been to the doctor's so many times, all they ever say is it's pregnancy related and there is nothing they can do for me.

Well i had my baby 2 weeks ago, my nipple looks even more different now too, really flat and occasionally inverted looking, not always, but has definately changed, the pain in my back, shoulder, armpit etc is still there too. I worried myself to death, convinced that i've got cancer, and because of the pain it's spread, leaving no way of curing me.

I'm a terrible one for googling and all my symptoms lead to only one prognoses, CANCER. What am i going to do, i can't enjoy my life at all because of this, it's ruined my enjoyment of having my baby, i can't look forward to anything until i know what wrong with me.

Please help me someone, i feel so alone right now.

[zippy]

I think if you had breast cancer something would have showed up on your 2 scans and something would have been amiss on all your bloods you have probably had taken while being pregnant. I know how you feel though i also think the same that i am dying and its spreading and i am going to leave my 2 children with no mam.
Only i think i have ovarian cancer because of a late and light period and stomach issues and an ache in my groin. Its awful this anxiety isnt it, i feel constantly sick and have to force myself to eat.
Hope you feel better soon.

[starfighter]

If its any help at all, my wife had a lump under her arm pit during pregnancy that was said to be normal, vanished after the birth, however her left nipple is different now and flattened. but all is fine with her.

[teez]

ohhh hun i know its scarey but if its worrying you that bad google for a well woman clinic or womans clinic in general,,please dont google the symptoms they can be the stuff of nightmares,,
im a breast cancer survivor and as such can tell you i had a huge lump size of a golf ball,,yes i had pain and so much so it drove me insane,,also my breast became swollen ,,it really does sound hormonal with yours ,,but to put your mind at rest find a clinic who might do you a scan,,,just had a wee thought is the pain a burning pain,,and do you have any kind of fever,,i only ask as i had some of the symptoms your describing very recently and i had mastitus blooming painful,,yes all under the arm and made me feel dreadful and very common in pregnacy and after,,put a cabbage leaf or two in the fridge and when its real cold put it in your bra its very soothing,,,if its this you might need antibiotics i was on them for three weeks,,please no more googling its not helpful just scarey,,,hope you get help soon ,,thinking of you x

[merrysee]

thanks teez, no it's not a burning pain, just an annoying sort of ache, it just doesn't feel right if that makes sence, i know that the lumpy area was probably hormonal as it's gone down loads since the birth of my daughter, it's the nipple change and shoudler pain, i've read that a sudden inverted nipple could be a rare form of cancer called inflammortary breast cancer, which doesn't show up on scan's so have convinced myself this is my problem, as this sort of cancer spreads quickly thats what makes me think the shoulder pain is the bones, i'm so terrified it's unreal, i need concrete evidence that this is not cancer, but my doctor's are all sick and tired of me. Also the pains i get under my arms, another classic sign that cancer has spread and is in my lymph nodes.

[teez]

you must have a local breast care clinic hun,,find it and tell them this is making your live a misery they will fit you in,,breast clinics are brilliant very thorough,,,have you had any bloods taken ,,if you have the inflammortory breast cancer would show up as this is as you say very aggresive and would kill of blood cells ,,but find a clinic ask advice you can have this ruin your time with your new baby,,

[merrysee]

my last 2 scans were at my local breast clinic, and i've obviously has quite a lot of blood tests recently because i've been been pregnant, i've had a low iron count but i've has a low iron count with all my pregnancy's, nothing else sinister has shown up i guess or i would of been called back to my gp, i went back to my gp last friday and told them how worried i was and could i be referred agin but they won't refer me because i've had 2 normal scan's, when i mention IBC to them they tell me i haven't got it, so i'm at a complete loss of what to do. I rang my breast clinic and they can't see me without a referral?

[kirstynic]

I know how you feel I had a episode this year thinking I had ibc I googled the symptoms and within days my boob was burning and I even thought it looked different.

I also had and still have boob pain only one side when pushed or touched its like I am so sensitive of anyone being near it, I had a scan in may and it was clear, I also feel like a mass which 2 breast specialists told me was glandular and 4 doctors told me I just have lumpy boobs. Every month near when I am due on my boon gets sore and I get scared and can never completely reasure myself with what the doctors said.


Teez what did your pain feel like?


I loved being pregnant as got scans and blood tests so much and most aches could be blamed on pregnancy, you have had blood tests and they were all fine this is a good sign, I am waiting for smear results at the moment and not doing great as I am sure they are not going to be normal.


Try and relax xx

[merrysee]

Thanks Kirsty, i really hope your right, if i just didn't have this pain in my right shoulder, back, armpit, i may be able to relax a bit about the breast problem, i know anxiety in itself can bring on pain as our bodies get so tight and tense, but thats part and part of anxiety, we worry about a pain, but worrying about it just makes it worse.

My nipple looks normal at times, and then so different at other times, it probably doesn't help that i keep prodding and checking it every few minutes but i just can't help it.

I really hope your results come back clear, i've been down that road myself with the fear of cervical cancer so i know what your going through, it's horrid isn't it.

If it's not one thing it's another in this lonely world of anxiety and depression.

I wish you well.
Mel. x

[potato11]

Hi Merrysee

I'd really advise you to have a look at CBT for your anxiety

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=91696

there is a link to a fab online course (free 30 day trial) that helps you examine why you feel the way you do, the effect 'catastrophising' has on your mood and the way you view things, etc. You may feel it has nothing to do with your symptoms but I am very confident that CBT will help you look at your situation in a different light and help you to feel much better, so you can focus your attention on enjoying your baby :)

[Fly away Katie]

Hello darling, remember, you have loads of GLANDS around that area too xxx HUGS xxx

[teez]

have you a friendly nurse who will look at you,,

[dizzydaisy]

Im not sure about your breast issue but the pain in your shoulder, armpit, into your back and radiating down your arm could be a frozen shoulder starting. It certainly worth asking your doctor next time your there.:D

[merrysee]

Ok so i went back to the doctor's again today with this constane pain in my breast, back, underarm, and shoulder, my doctor said since i've had 2 ultrasounds and they have both been fine, he doesn't want to refer me again, he wants me to start taking my amatripyline (sorry spelt wrong i know), and want's me to have a chest and neck xray, does anyone know if this would show up bone cancer of breast cancer, i'm so worried i have breast cancer and it's spred to my bones, hence the pain?

[Em84]

NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING,,,,
Trust me, when I have googled my symptoms I've seen angina, strokes, cancer, Even HIV! This is not a good way to help with Anxiety....I used to do this daily and would end up a right state then thinking of all the horrible things I might have which made it 1000 times worse...
I have had two children and for some reason a few weeks after my second my right nipple has also become inverted,,,she checked my breast and there was nothing abnormal....I think it's just one of those things. My mum had it also and I remember she used to use a weird thing to try and change it.....some suction thing the doctor gave her...might just be the loss of volume to the breast
Try not to worry xx

[merrysee]

thanks Em, sometimes the nipple looks normal, other times, inverted, it's a strange one, it's the pain that get's me down though, but i know the more we think about the symptoms, the worse they get, it's a never ending cycle. I just want to wake up one day, symptom free, so i can get on with my life and enjoy my husband and 3 beautiful babie's. xx

[Violet1]

Bless you heart. I am trying not to come here often as I am ok at the min and it doesn't help my anxieties, however I have just seen this and I have to reply. I actually have tears in my eyes reading this and this awful time you are going through. I can totally understand how you feel as I am very much like you. What upsets me is this what this horrible health anxiety does to people, like you said you've just had a baby, this should be the happiest time of your life.

Regarding your worries about your breast,I have googled on your behalf. Even if it was inflammatory breast cancer, your doctor would see signs by lookin at our breast ALSO I have read that on an ultrasound there would be suspicious signs. You have neither of these. You also have been pregnant and had a baby. I also had a breast cancer scare a week after giving birth with a lump in my breast. It was nothing and went down on its own. I have had health anxieties for years! your brain does funny things re..pain. With the worry you are going through, you are tense and the pain will be coming from that, if not maybe a pulled muscle but nothing else. Honestly I spent all summer with awful stomach problems, pain, sickness - convinced it was stomach cancer. I had an endoscopy, once I knew things were ok, it went! I would never have said those problems could be anxiety, after all it was still here when I wasn't thinking about it - but it obviously was.

Please, please forget about it and enjoy your baby. From a fellow health anxiety sufferer, I'm sure you will not be able to take what I say, but I really hope this eases for you soon. Message me any time you want to chat x

[merrysee]

thx violet, really kind words. Well i had a chest and shoulder xray, results were normal. but the pain in my right breast seems like it's getting worse, there is no area on the outside it's tender, i just seem to be getting sharp stabbing pains, it's so draining, and the nipple has definately changed, but everytime i mention this to my doctor she just keeps telling me that i've had 2 normal ultrasounds, normal bloods, and now a normal xray, which would of shown signs of bone cancer, i can't live like this anymore. I just have this awful feeling it's breast cancer and i'm so scared.

[nomorepanic]

I think at some point you have to accept that you are fine and stop having more and more tests and try your best to forget about things.

Have you started on the Amitrip yet?

[merrysee]

yes i'm on day 10 and yesterday my doctor upped my dose to 20mg, i really thought that once i started to take the amitrip the pain would ease up, but as of yet nothing, i keep reading stories about women having normal ultrasounds and actually having breast cancer and by the time it is detected it's way too late.

[nomorepanic]

I know 2 women that have breast cancer and neither had pain in the breast at all if that helps.

[merrysee]

I'm so fed up, i went back to my gp yesterday to have my pill review, told her that the pain in my back and shoulder is a lot better, but am still having pain in breast and nipple still occasionally looks inverted, she simply shrugged it off by saying well you've had 2 clear scans, and a chest xray, so is putting it down to just one of those things. I'm at my wit's end with it all, my right breast is generally quite lumpy, more so than the left, but it just doesn't feel right, and my nipple has definately changed since my baby was born 7 weeks ago, i really don't know what to do, my gp has as good as said she's not doing anything else about it, i can't see another doctor because i've seen all of them at my surgery and they all seem to say the same.
I've had this problem since may of this year, i'm convinced it's a rare cancer like inflammatory breast cancer which doesnt always show on ultrasounds, i really don't know what else i can do?

[AngelHeart]

I had a lump with the same symptoms, aches e.t.c after I had my daughter 9 years ago. The scan said the lump was normal and I was told the aches were anxiety . I know more than ever n ow that focusing on one thing can make it worse when you have health anxiety. I am testiment to this !! Please try to be reassured that the scans were normal. Once you stop focusing on this you will find also that the aches will go away. I know its easier said than done but I've been through this so many times !!! Huge hugs to you xxx

---------- Post added at 12:30 ---------- Previous post was at 12:25 ----------

P.s the change to your breast might just be because of the pregnancy and the breast changes after giving birth too hun xx

[merrysee]

Thx Pauline, i try so hard to not think about my problem breast but the pain is always there, so i can't help but think about it, it's so hard, i'm so worried, my husband is slowly loosing patience with me too, i just keep thinking what if something was missed on scan, i stupidly go onto google and whenever i type in my symptoms CANCER is always the first thing that comes up, and i have so many symptoms. I'm so scared i'm going to die and leave behind my 3 kids.:weep:

---------- Post added at 12:57 ---------- Previous post was at 12:36 ----------

Also i'm having pains in my right armpit and i'm sure i can feel a lump that jumps around when trying to find it!

[AngelHeart]

I really do symspathise with you as I feel exactly the same and I also have 3 kids. The lump under arm sounds like a lypmth node, these can raise if your under the weather or nipped yourself shaving, they can also be very painful. Secondly please don't google. you can type in anything on there and cancer will always be top of the list. I know its hard but could you try getting a hobby, yoga, gym e.tc or ask for cbt thearpy or do meditation? hugs hun, its so horrible xxxx

[merrysee]

Has anyone experienced or know's someone who has had such breast changes with pregnancy and afterwards, i'd be really interested i'm not alone, which is exactly how i feel right now!.:weep:

---------- Post added at 18:21 ---------- Previous post was at 17:38 ----------

ANYONE? XX

[Neuroticgal]

Meeeeeeee

I have a problem breast, my right one. It is pretty much tender to touch all month and 2 weeks before my period I feel like screaming of anyone comes near it. I also have a weird lumpiness in it that I had scanned and is apparently normal, but this does not stop me worrying every month xxx

[justina]

I have three kids just like you, and I panic about one of my breasts the same way you do.
I have a very small, very hard lump. They really have checked me out, they did something like eight scans of the breast and an ultrasound, they said everythinh is normal and I keep worrying a little bit...what if they missed something...:blush:

I think with women like you and me the problem is that we love life and our kids so much, and our health anxiety focuses on this and makes us believe we will die and leave them...because that is the biggest fear and health anxiety lives of our fear...:doh: