booklover
09-11-11, 16:28
Hi,
I joined this forum originally in 2008, but for some reason I stopped posting...I don't know why really as it looks like the sort of place that would be very helpful and friendly.
Anyway - here I am again, three years on and no better. I suffer from OCD, checking things over and over. I find that whenever I go anywhere I'm always late, because it takes me forever to get out of the house. I have to check that lights are off, plugs are pulled out, doors are locked etc. over and over again. Also, I have a fear of bad things happening and have 'mantra's which I have to repeat to myself over and over again to convince myself that things will be okay, but it doesn't work - I still obsess about things happening.
The other thing is that I find it extremely difficult to make friends. I'm happily married (although I constantly worry about things going wrong), but am very shy around people I don't know. For that reason, I have a very small circle of friends, and probably come across as anti-social when I dont' mean to. (I'm the sort of person who will avoid a neighbour seeing me if possible, because I don't know how to make 'small talk'.) I'd love to be the sort of person who can talk to anyone, but people like that frighten me!!!
Finally (and I feel bad going on about my own problems), I suffer from compulsive eating disorder. I'm generally healthy, eat well and exercise regularly, but every so often I just have a huge (and I do mean huge) binge, which makes me feel ill and disgusted with myself.
I'm convinced that all of these problems are somehow linked.
Anyway, just needed to get things off my chest. I'm here really to listen to any advice, and to have a look around. It's a relief to know I'm not the only person who feels this way. It just seems like there has to be more than this to living. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but every day feels like a struggle - and an internal one.
Wow - it felt good to write all that down. Sorry for going on, and thanks for listening :)
I joined this forum originally in 2008, but for some reason I stopped posting...I don't know why really as it looks like the sort of place that would be very helpful and friendly.
Anyway - here I am again, three years on and no better. I suffer from OCD, checking things over and over. I find that whenever I go anywhere I'm always late, because it takes me forever to get out of the house. I have to check that lights are off, plugs are pulled out, doors are locked etc. over and over again. Also, I have a fear of bad things happening and have 'mantra's which I have to repeat to myself over and over again to convince myself that things will be okay, but it doesn't work - I still obsess about things happening.
The other thing is that I find it extremely difficult to make friends. I'm happily married (although I constantly worry about things going wrong), but am very shy around people I don't know. For that reason, I have a very small circle of friends, and probably come across as anti-social when I dont' mean to. (I'm the sort of person who will avoid a neighbour seeing me if possible, because I don't know how to make 'small talk'.) I'd love to be the sort of person who can talk to anyone, but people like that frighten me!!!
Finally (and I feel bad going on about my own problems), I suffer from compulsive eating disorder. I'm generally healthy, eat well and exercise regularly, but every so often I just have a huge (and I do mean huge) binge, which makes me feel ill and disgusted with myself.
I'm convinced that all of these problems are somehow linked.
Anyway, just needed to get things off my chest. I'm here really to listen to any advice, and to have a look around. It's a relief to know I'm not the only person who feels this way. It just seems like there has to be more than this to living. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but every day feels like a struggle - and an internal one.
Wow - it felt good to write all that down. Sorry for going on, and thanks for listening :)