rblt94
12-11-11, 05:58
Well if my title attracted you enough to this, my mind's thought process can be referred to and feels like a 200 mile per hour car cosistently hammering down a racetrack. My anxious thoughts never end even when I look at myself in the mirror with extreme annoyance. I've screamed I don't know how many times before to "make the thoughts stop" like a crazy person (within the privacy of my own home, in my own room, and into my own pillow, trust me). So here I am tonight stuck in the same old rut.
Tomorrow my boyfriend is getting his senior pictures taken and asked me to go with him so it won't interfere with our hanging out time. Of course, the first thought that came to my mind is "I don't know"..
Don't forget the feeling of dread. Luckily it will be only me, him, and the kid that is taking the pictures. I'm kind of relieved that his mom isn't going, or driving, so that's one less person I have to worry about having an anxiety attack around and puking in front of. So I'm getting comfortable with the thought of it only being him and I in his car following this other guy to other sites to get his pictures taken. I keep rolling my eyes not wanting to type out my whole thought process on this and devising my safety plans just in case I do happen to get sick. I don't want to. But I just have to remind myself that I am the person that makes me sick, not my anxiety. Me. I have the ultimate control of it and I am the one that makes me sick. There is no need to vomit if I'm not sick. I know how I can handle it if I start to feel anxious and I will let it come and go. I just want to be excited for once and not care.
Tomorrow my boyfriend is getting his senior pictures taken and asked me to go with him so it won't interfere with our hanging out time. Of course, the first thought that came to my mind is "I don't know"..
Don't forget the feeling of dread. Luckily it will be only me, him, and the kid that is taking the pictures. I'm kind of relieved that his mom isn't going, or driving, so that's one less person I have to worry about having an anxiety attack around and puking in front of. So I'm getting comfortable with the thought of it only being him and I in his car following this other guy to other sites to get his pictures taken. I keep rolling my eyes not wanting to type out my whole thought process on this and devising my safety plans just in case I do happen to get sick. I don't want to. But I just have to remind myself that I am the person that makes me sick, not my anxiety. Me. I have the ultimate control of it and I am the one that makes me sick. There is no need to vomit if I'm not sick. I know how I can handle it if I start to feel anxious and I will let it come and go. I just want to be excited for once and not care.