Anxiety is ruining my life.....

[Michelle24]

Hi all im new to this websit but thought i would join after finding it when i was doing the awful googeling that we all do to check out symtoms....:wacko: After reading so many peoles stories its such a comfort to no that it is a very commen problem or issue that we have to deal with....
It started with me 4 years ago... up until then i never gave my health a second thought...lol....So wish it could be like that again... I think that why im so angry also to have ended up with this horrable issue that i have to live with... Ive overcome post natal depression and ocd....I wish i could over come this.... My Biggest fear is cancer, that is what i am so terrafied of... if any of you can maybe share your stories or thoughts with me that would be great.....:yesyes:

[Christers]

Hi Michelle! sorry to hear that you've been goin through this cursed anxiety! It is truly awful. One benefit from your googling (Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease do not do that, it makes things 100 times worse!!) is that it helped you find your way here! There are so many people on here that have been through all you are going through and more. I, too, never really gave my health too much of a thought until i had my son. I think the pressure of having this little being depend on me really made me panic about 'what if something happened to me, who would look after him?'. How did it come about for you?

[pablo22]

hey Michelle! I went 5 years thinking i had testicular cancer thanks to google, and became paralysed by the fear of getting my "supposed" lump checked, because i was too afraid a diagnosis of cancer would come back... eventually (after many panic attacks and an interesting trip to berlin)... i did get it checked... there was no lump, my hypochondria ruined 5 years of my life.

i thought the cancer was spreading... but it was all in my head, what i was feeling was anxiety syptoms! like muscle twitches, body zaps, creeping sensation, aches and pains... and confusing them for cancer spreading from my testical throughout my lymph system.

if u focus on any one body part for a considerable amount of time, u will feel pain, it wont be imagined, anxiety cause cause physical pain.

hope this helps :hugs: all the best!

[Michelle24]

Living in constant fear that you are going to die is a horrable thing to live with, im in total fear of leaving my boys without a mummy...who would look after them and who would help them with homework or who would the go to when there clothes start to get to wee.... its constant thinking and head wrecking stuff this anxiety crack...lol.... I hide it so well not alot of people no what im going through...they wouldnt understand and i wouldnt even no wear to start it trying to explain it...lol.....Id be broke to the bone....ha...

Thank u pablo for sharing your story with me......to think that anxiety can cause physical pain is such a relief to no.... i do get so many symtoms from my anxiety it so scary....Evey day i think its my last, i have honestly convinced myself ive got cancer in my chest and throat.... i have a cyst on my chest that i was born with and when im having an attack my instant reaction is to rub this cyst constantly...i feel now that ive turned it into cancer...(how silly).....:weep:

Ive even quit smoking im that petrafied of getting the disease......I refuse to give up my bottle of old faithful on a sat nyt.... mr smirnoff can take the edge off...ha....:D....Thats the strangest thing about it, when im out on thw town with the girls i never have an anxiety attack...hangovers are the worst....i do think im ready for the brown box after a nyt out.....:roflmao:

[zippy]

I have just posted about how come i am ok when i have a drink and as soon as i wake up the next day i am back to thinking i am dying. I cant get my head round that anxiety can cause real physical pains because believe me i can feel something low down on my left.

[Michelle24]

Lol...im the very same....i think sometimes it would pay off to drink every day if it brought you some peace.....are you on any meds zippy....!

[zippy]

Amitriptyline and just been prescribed citralopam yesterday, going to start them tomorrow. Do you think we should be convinced that it is anxiety because my friend said if i was really dying i wouldnt be able to drink and be ok? I was so calm last night after a night out and i was thinking theres nothing wrong with me but then i am just as bad today and think i am dying.

[Michelle24]

I no deep down that it is our anxiety making us think we just gunna die any minuet but when your in that frame of mind you cant see past death.... When you be out you start to think, god this is great i feel fine and then your on a buzz for the nyt but when you wake up its a differant story....Im on xanax and diazapam..... thay do help when i cant get settled or i cant sleep.....i was on xanax years ago and got hooked on them, was on ten a day...there the only tablet that settles me so they are monitering how many im on and they only give me so many....
Im on of these dolls who hates taking pills as i think im gunna take every wee side affect written on the paper...lol.....I stick to what i no.....ha

[kah]

Hey there,
Your story is much like mine, I was fine until I had my daughter 5 years ago and it's gradually got worse since, having been really bad for the past 18 months or so. My fear used to be cancer but now it's MS!! I've had that many tests over the past 18 mths (brain scan, abdominal ultrasound, 2 chest x-rays, CT scan, breast ultrasound, zillions of bloods taken.......), every time I get the all-clear from one problem a new one pops up!!
I've got to a point now where 80% of the time I can tell myself it's just anxiety, I can see the patterns/signs and give myself a good talking to to stop it getting out of hand. However, there's always the other 20% which is the nagging doubt of 'what if this time it really is something serious' and no matter what I try (CBT, hypnotherapy etc) it is still there :weep:.

I'm glad you've found this site, if anything it makes it that little bit more easier to know you are not alone.

K xxx

[Michelle24]

Hey K... I no it so sad and scary...it can be a lonly old feeling, im so glad i found this site.... I will never forget my first attack....i was feeding my new wee bundle then bang....i hit the floor....i was hyperventilateing that much that i passed out...when i came to i rang an ambulance and told them i was having a heart attack.... for 3 years i was like you, getting so many tests done to assure me i was ok....it just a crazy cycle, you get the reasurance for one problem and then you think, oh god, i bet you they missed something on that last test....
I even told my docter i had cancer and he looked at me as if i had 2 heads....he reasures me that there are so many people with the same anxiety issues.....

take care...xx