want to admit my self to hospital :'(

[Em.ma]

everything is really getting out of control for me at the moment. HA, GA, slight SA. hating my self, gone of food but then i binge to and i keep wanting to wash so much show my armpit has ended up like this again http://i53.tinypic.com/28quplk.jpg----- dont look if you dont like the sight of burns.
Im seeing my doc tommorow and just feel broken down and really C*** if i can put it nicely. I have waited since Feb of this year for counessling now.

---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 17:27 ----------

the wosrt bit is my parents refuse to ackeknowledge how bad i feel. i hate the way i look. i cant look in the mirror. my hair is frizzy and poofy and disgusting no matter what i do so i took the scissors to it and cut most of it and it made me feel worse :(. i just feel so ugly and i never feel clean. :(

---------- Post added at 17:34 ---------- Previous post was at 17:28 ----------

it hurts to (my armpit)- will the doc give me some shower gel i can use or cream? :(. my body muscle hurts sometimes.

[bottleblond]

Oh Em that does look painful. :hugs:

Please tell your doctor absolutely everything tomorrow, infact if you can, make a list of exactly how you have been feeling and the actions you have taken.

I'm quite sure he/she could get you an emergency appointment with a counsellor. You have waited way too long as it is in my opinion.

Please let us know how you get on.

Lisa
xx

[debs71]

Hi Emma,

Sorry you are feeling so awful at the mo.

First things first, when you go to the doctor, bloody well tell him EXACTLY how bad you are feeling, and that waiting since Feb for counselling is simply NOT acceptable.

That is a ridiculous joke. I am almost certain that an NHS referral for counselling will fall within the no more than 18 weeks waiting rules. You should ask the GP about this and say that you intend to complain to the Primary Care Trust. He may pull his finger out for you.

Don't be fobbed off. Be strong if you can, but do express to him how desperately you need counselling. That is very clear from your post here hun.

It also sounds like your self esteem is very low, and all of these things relate to each other...the anxiety/HA/ low esteem. All these things can be addressed as long as you get the counselling.

Don't accept being patronised by your GP on this point.

As far as your armpit goes, I think by the looks of it your skin is just very red and sore from the washing...it isn't a burn hun so to speak. Applying some emollient cream to it like E45 will help put the moisture back in, but the best thing you can do is use that problem as an excuse to show your GP exactly what you are feeling and address the counselling wait.

I feel quite cross for you actually.

Good luck.xxx:hugs:

[bottleblond]

Eek Debs you're scary :roflmao: Well said though xxx

[debs71]

Sorry BB....I do get my knickers in a knot don't I?....lol

I just cannot believe Emma waiting that long for counselling! That is shameful. By that point, anyone in desperate need of counselling could have reached any dire point, which defeats the object.

Grrrrr!!!!:redcard:

xxxxxx :)

[bottleblond]

Lmao i agree with every single thing you said. :yahoo:

[debs71]

Thanks BB.xxxxxx:hugs::yesyes:

[Anxious_gal]

Hey we all need to have out feelings understood and cared about.
The fact my family didn't , made my depression much worse .
You're young n don't have the skills yet to fight this anxiety on your own.
Again I think it's ridiculous you haven't been getting more help.
:(

[Em.ma]

Thanks Ladies means a lot. taking ages to reply as my internet is up the creek again oh well...
I am using E45 and trying to resist temptation to wash even though i feel "dirty" but its hard and i feel like i have to use this as an "excuse" to show them what i need. its madness.
I have nearly begged for CBT as i feel that would be more effective. I had one couessnlig session once with CHAMS and they said i wasnt bad enough and we would be better of with a different kind of counessling so i went back to GP and since then i seem to have gone no were.

Im only 17... 18 in a few weeks :D and i really want to be able to enjoy being young and its just being wasted. I fear getting old and would love to say 17/18 for ever and my teen years have just been dreadful. i also fear the anxiety will weaken my heart etc and kill me. ive had two colds this month/last month but so has my friend which made me feel better about it as it wasnt just me who seems to be getting all these bugs.

---------- Post added at 19:37 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

just had a scare as the fire alarm wasnt working and mum made it work. i wasnt testing it right. as there was a squirrel in the loft last year i panicked.

---------- Post added at 20:09 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

struggling to go to bed tonight cause of the squirrel in the loft.

[theharvestmouse]

so true Debs, agree with you completely!

[Em.ma]

well went to docs. got told to use mild soap and try not to bath to much BUT without help i cant seem to stop washing over the top... i pushed for counessling and i get all this stuff like "your not sucidal so its not an emergency" because i wasnt suciadal is the reasons CAHMS wouldnt take me on for counessling. my upper body (neck) is killing me with tension. I wont back down at the docs- i really want to try to CBT. i fear anxiety will weaken my body etc.

[Anxious_gal]

Once you are 18 you can demand to be seen by a physiatrist and get a mental health team :)
Mental health units are not just for people on the edge, they are there to help anyone who needs help, often people go there to stay while doctors change their medication and try to find one that works best, or people with depression go there too.

[Em.ma]

Thanks. I didnt know that. Only a few more weeks to go. Docs again next week.

[Em.ma]

what im most scared of is anxiety making me phyiscally ill. giving me adrenal cancer or something else sinister. :(

[mikewales]

Anxiety will make you feel ill, however it can't cause diseases like cancer. It is all your imagination and worry.