Ducky85
15-11-11, 14:24
Hello,
I've not visited NMP in almost a year... and what a year it has been!! I feel bad for not being around but i hope in reading this you can understand why. I am back now to share with everyone my success story in the hope it can help others.. even just to show that there can be light at the end of the tunnel. :yahoo:
This may be long winded, i may say things which seem irrelevant, but bare with me and u will see where i'm going....
Last year I suffered my very first panic attack, whilst at work, which was triggered by being verbally abused by a man. As I work as a nurse, I am in the firing line for many emotions that people feel, and I am trained to deal with it. However, on this occasion I was completely unprepared for it, not wanting to sound like i am 'passing the buck' but the situation I was receiving abuse about was nothing to do with me. So I was completely caught off guard as at the time I was trying to deal with some seriously ill people who were relying on me. I tried to carry on with my job but couldn't hold back the tears, i went to get a drink of water and compose myself.. then it happened, as soon as a concerned work collegue asks if i'm ok... BANG hyperventilating, pulse racing, light headed. My first panic attack.
I got sent home from work... and couldn't return for 3-4 weeks, i cant remember exactly how long. What i do remember is sitting in my room that night and feeling a huge almighty bang in my chest.... was that my heart?? it did it again.... and again.... oh no... panic attack. It seemed like every time i moved.. got stressed or increased my heart rate my heart would jump and stop and it was scary... really scary (ectopic beats, PVC's). I took to the sofa.. barely moving, feeling wave after wave of panic coming over me, i was even too scared to walk to the bathroom so started drinking as little as possible and only going to the loo when my bladder was bursting (not good, i know). I went to my gp, got put on Escitalopram... the side effects were horrendous!! I went back to work, went to a staff party, drank too much and smoked too much... ended up in A&E with ?SVT... given Diazepam and sent home. Cardiac tests... u name them ive had them. ?enlarged septum in heart. MRI disproved that one. Anyway, i had every test going and by Dec last year i had found this site (great help) and changed my job (still a nurse). I was coping better, although still got panic attacks when put under pressure, or experienced confrontation from people which developed into social anxiety.
In Jan/ Feb this year I lost my voice... for 9 WEEKS!!! A doctor collegue got me to see an ENT collegue.... tests were done yadda yadda.... I found out I had a tumour in my remaining thyroid tissue (had half removed in 2006).
In March I moved house which helped my stress levels, i then got confronted at work by an angry boss..... once again I was about to have a panic attack... but I stood there once she had gone, feeling this bubbling up inside of me... and I thought... NO DON'T YOU DARE!! She is not worth it, your are stronger than this... i took a deep breath... and the panic passed.
I did it!
After further cardiac tests..up to London hospitals etc etc.... I was operated on in July to remove the tumour and remaining thyroid. There were complications and i ended up on ITU very unwell. Once I was taken off the ventilator and was awake enough to speak I began to have an attack.... but once again, told myself NO. I informed the lovely night nurse who was looking after me about my anxiety and ectopics... and she said she has exactly the same and ectopics were affecting her badly... i recommended this site. We spent the night having ectopics together, neither of us dropped down dead, and she had been having them for 3 years. I think we both found a realisation that night. THEY WILL NOT HURT YOU.
I recovered, still with ectopics but now I don't pay them any attention.
I was given the news a few weeks later that I have thyroid cancer, follicular carcinoma. Although the news was devastating.... i did not have a panic attack, I was controlling my anxiety. Even the ectopic beats, the very things which used to petrify me, became insignificant.
At present, i have had one course of radiotherapy which went well, my thyroid medication is slowly getting sorted... although the weight gain has given me a bit of a flare up in social anxiety, I am still in control!!! Sure, i have ectopic beats multiple times on a daily basis and occasionally feel a bit anxious depending on the situation, but i'm dealing with it.
The most important thing i have learnt over the past year has been how strong i can be, i am in control, noone else can do it for you - so stop waiting for someone to give you a solution. I have the attitude that if something happens that triggers my anxiety and might possibly bring on an attack, who cares?... stand back, think about what you are about to panic about... laugh at it, and say WHO CARES!! Tell yourself NO. Refuse to have it happen. Move on and carry on regardless.... it will get easier. Distract yourself! If i start to feel panic in a supermarket for instance I grab the nearest product and read the label... but dont just stand staring at it whilst thinking about panic... actually read it like you have a genuine interest in it, however stupid it may seem, it works. If u read a label and are still feeling panic grab another product and compare them, study them, make yourself think... then carry on regardless. I works for me, it might do for you. But the only person who can make it work is you, you are strong enough, you can say no, laugh at it, roll your eyes at it... panic will go away!! Behave like a petulant child towards it.. when it raises its' head ... poke ur tongue out at it...it WILL go away.
To date... my last panic attack was back in March. I hope by reading this some good can come of it, and it helps someone somewhere!
Thank you for reading, i wish everybody the best in the battle with this demon, so much love and strength to you all. xxxx
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
I've not visited NMP in almost a year... and what a year it has been!! I feel bad for not being around but i hope in reading this you can understand why. I am back now to share with everyone my success story in the hope it can help others.. even just to show that there can be light at the end of the tunnel. :yahoo:
This may be long winded, i may say things which seem irrelevant, but bare with me and u will see where i'm going....
Last year I suffered my very first panic attack, whilst at work, which was triggered by being verbally abused by a man. As I work as a nurse, I am in the firing line for many emotions that people feel, and I am trained to deal with it. However, on this occasion I was completely unprepared for it, not wanting to sound like i am 'passing the buck' but the situation I was receiving abuse about was nothing to do with me. So I was completely caught off guard as at the time I was trying to deal with some seriously ill people who were relying on me. I tried to carry on with my job but couldn't hold back the tears, i went to get a drink of water and compose myself.. then it happened, as soon as a concerned work collegue asks if i'm ok... BANG hyperventilating, pulse racing, light headed. My first panic attack.
I got sent home from work... and couldn't return for 3-4 weeks, i cant remember exactly how long. What i do remember is sitting in my room that night and feeling a huge almighty bang in my chest.... was that my heart?? it did it again.... and again.... oh no... panic attack. It seemed like every time i moved.. got stressed or increased my heart rate my heart would jump and stop and it was scary... really scary (ectopic beats, PVC's). I took to the sofa.. barely moving, feeling wave after wave of panic coming over me, i was even too scared to walk to the bathroom so started drinking as little as possible and only going to the loo when my bladder was bursting (not good, i know). I went to my gp, got put on Escitalopram... the side effects were horrendous!! I went back to work, went to a staff party, drank too much and smoked too much... ended up in A&E with ?SVT... given Diazepam and sent home. Cardiac tests... u name them ive had them. ?enlarged septum in heart. MRI disproved that one. Anyway, i had every test going and by Dec last year i had found this site (great help) and changed my job (still a nurse). I was coping better, although still got panic attacks when put under pressure, or experienced confrontation from people which developed into social anxiety.
In Jan/ Feb this year I lost my voice... for 9 WEEKS!!! A doctor collegue got me to see an ENT collegue.... tests were done yadda yadda.... I found out I had a tumour in my remaining thyroid tissue (had half removed in 2006).
In March I moved house which helped my stress levels, i then got confronted at work by an angry boss..... once again I was about to have a panic attack... but I stood there once she had gone, feeling this bubbling up inside of me... and I thought... NO DON'T YOU DARE!! She is not worth it, your are stronger than this... i took a deep breath... and the panic passed.
I did it!
After further cardiac tests..up to London hospitals etc etc.... I was operated on in July to remove the tumour and remaining thyroid. There were complications and i ended up on ITU very unwell. Once I was taken off the ventilator and was awake enough to speak I began to have an attack.... but once again, told myself NO. I informed the lovely night nurse who was looking after me about my anxiety and ectopics... and she said she has exactly the same and ectopics were affecting her badly... i recommended this site. We spent the night having ectopics together, neither of us dropped down dead, and she had been having them for 3 years. I think we both found a realisation that night. THEY WILL NOT HURT YOU.
I recovered, still with ectopics but now I don't pay them any attention.
I was given the news a few weeks later that I have thyroid cancer, follicular carcinoma. Although the news was devastating.... i did not have a panic attack, I was controlling my anxiety. Even the ectopic beats, the very things which used to petrify me, became insignificant.
At present, i have had one course of radiotherapy which went well, my thyroid medication is slowly getting sorted... although the weight gain has given me a bit of a flare up in social anxiety, I am still in control!!! Sure, i have ectopic beats multiple times on a daily basis and occasionally feel a bit anxious depending on the situation, but i'm dealing with it.
The most important thing i have learnt over the past year has been how strong i can be, i am in control, noone else can do it for you - so stop waiting for someone to give you a solution. I have the attitude that if something happens that triggers my anxiety and might possibly bring on an attack, who cares?... stand back, think about what you are about to panic about... laugh at it, and say WHO CARES!! Tell yourself NO. Refuse to have it happen. Move on and carry on regardless.... it will get easier. Distract yourself! If i start to feel panic in a supermarket for instance I grab the nearest product and read the label... but dont just stand staring at it whilst thinking about panic... actually read it like you have a genuine interest in it, however stupid it may seem, it works. If u read a label and are still feeling panic grab another product and compare them, study them, make yourself think... then carry on regardless. I works for me, it might do for you. But the only person who can make it work is you, you are strong enough, you can say no, laugh at it, roll your eyes at it... panic will go away!! Behave like a petulant child towards it.. when it raises its' head ... poke ur tongue out at it...it WILL go away.
To date... my last panic attack was back in March. I hope by reading this some good can come of it, and it helps someone somewhere!
Thank you for reading, i wish everybody the best in the battle with this demon, so much love and strength to you all. xxxx
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1: