View Full Version : thinking of leaving the site - advice from my hypnotherapist
Littlehelper123
15-11-11, 22:08
I might leave the site as my hypnotherapist has said that talking to people with similar problems will only cause me to get worse.
Apparently by reading and listening to peoples problems it can cause you to either take them on or make your own problems worse.
I'm not trying to draw people away from this website as i think it is good for comfort and support when you need it.
But i do think that she is right. My friend has just started getting EXACTLY what i have ... =/
I mean....i might be back in a few days but i might just give myself a break from here for a few weeks just to see if things improve...
take care!
xxxx
good luck, but so many people find comfort on this site, and friends too, but you should follow your therapist's advice, it may be right for you x
bottleblond
15-11-11, 22:16
NMP has had the complete opposite effect on me.
I'll give you a scenario. It's 2 in the morning and your having a panic attack. Do you not come on to this site or a similar one to have someone talk to you and help or do you just suffer?
I have been on NMP for years now and i hav got so much support. My anxiety is 90% better and i have made the most fantastic friends.
Just my take.
Lisa
i kinda get what your saying about it can make you worse, but id never be without NMP and the friends ive made here, i wish you well in your recovery x
For me, I have found this site very helpful. Being a bit of a hypochondriac though I am very careful not to over analyse other people's symptoms and side effects so that I don't get them too. I have a very overactive imagination!
Also, I am strong enough to know that I am one of the people who NEEDS meds (I've had psychology and CBT therapy) so I don't pay attention to the people who are anti-meds. I'm not saying they're wrong and they're entitled to their opinion but everyone is different and I know what is best for me.
There's no harm in staying away from the site for a few days and seeing how you feel?
Good Luck.x
xBettyBoopx
15-11-11, 22:34
None of my friends/family over many decades are suffering with anxiety/panic because I am. I have found this site very helpful over the years specifically early hours of the morning when I'm feeling panicky.
But I also kinda understand why your hynotherapist has said that and I wish you the best, of course you can always come back if you miss it:yesyes:
I wish you well.
Els
xx
Anxious_gal
16-11-11, 00:34
Do what ever works for you!
I can see both points.
I often spend less time on this site when my anxiety is better, because I just can't deal with other peoples issues and how it might trigger off mine.
Also when I am anxiety free I do want to escape the world of anxiety, if that makes any sense.
When my anxiety is bad I spend a lot of time on here as it's the one place in the world where I can be honest and be myself without people making me feel humiliated and ashamed for my issues.
I do how ever post success stories when things go well to give hope to others.
Different things work for different people.
I hope you therapist isn't out right telling you to leave but more suggesting it's something you should thing about and decide for yourself.
nomorepanic
16-11-11, 01:10
Only you can decide what is good for you and not someone that doesn't really know you.
If you leave and find you miss it then come back - simples as they say lol
macc noodle
16-11-11, 07:23
I am currently undergoing a course of CBT for my panic and anxiety.
Part of the learning process is that I learn to deal with the attacks from within myself and that distraction (which I have used for many many years) is not the best way forward.
Equally, I know from experience that sometimes I cannot bear to be in chat when someone (or even a group of people) are talking about fears of cancer or heart issues etc as I have a propensity to get drawn in and it directs me back to my fears and can spark of an attack.
So, therefore, I can completely understand where your counsellor is coming from with this advice BUT I do firmly believe that it should be your choice. It will come from within you during your recovery whether or not you should be here.
This site needs members in varying states of recovery in order that we can support others here and also so that we can see that there is light at the end of the tunnel - I am feeling really good at the moment but still pop in to see if I can offer any help or advice to those struggling or just to have a laugh with mates I have made here - it is just a microcosm of real life here and, as in the outer world, we all have to decide for ourselves what suits us and what is healthy for us or not........
A tough decision I know, but I do believe that you have to do what you consider to be right for your recovery and your counsellor should respect whatever decision you make.
:hugs:
Macc Noodle
Your hypnotherapist is certainly right in a lot of respects in that constantly reading negativity and with that uncertainty of getting better will delay recovery.
Looking for answers and solutions regarding our anxiety is not truly accepting and also once diagnosed with anxiety you don't need to constantly remind yourself of how debilitating the condition can get.
But and a very big but, that solution is not for everyone, one size does not fit all. This site is a valuable commodity for support and comradere. Without these sites there would be a lot of lonely desperate isolated people in need of support at a very vulnerable part of there lives. I certainly value this support group but I do see where your councelor is coming from.
If it was my choice, I would not leave but just abscent myself for a couple of months and see if your therapist is making the right decisions for you.
What you must remember is that these councillors from whatever background are well in themselves . So as a perspective they are looking from the other side of the mirror so maybe have never experienced sheer terror at two in the morning with nowhere to turn to.
But as I stated before they are factual correct, but unfortunately human nature does not always comply with certain treatment paths that are restrictive or demanding.
Best wishes and make the best decision for you.
hearing peoples problems it can cause you to either take them on or make your own worse
then may i ask how ill he must be, after all thats his job other peoples problems
god bless
I wouldnt say leave for good. If you want to just dont visit for a while and see how you get on. Personally, I tend to visit and post lots when I am having a bad time - like now - and when I am feeling better dont visit as often. I wouldnt know what to do without NMP. Good luck and hope you continue to improve.
theharvestmouse
16-11-11, 18:43
think most people follow that pattern, when we are good we don't want to come on here because its a reminder, when we are bad though we look for other people for help.
My physcologist also told me the same thing, but when im bad i find coming on here helps me.
When im doing good i still like to come on here occasionally to answer posts
mandie x
think most people follow that pattern, when we are good we don't want to come on here because its a reminder, when we are bad though we look for other people for help.
Yes, I agree.
I can understand the reasoning behind it because reading others fears and worries can fuel our own but I feel it really depends on how you use this site because you can also learn alot from being here and feel comforted knowing you're not alone.
One curious thought for you...
People often talk about avoidance, that we shouldn't avoid things that make us feel anxious and yet they also say you shouldn't visit sites like this because it can make you feel more ill so which is right?
I compare this site to life itself. If you visited friends, your parents, relatives etc, would their illnesses/complaints mean you should stop seeing them? What if you had to care for someone who is ill? Would you move out and let a nurse take over?
What about when you turn on the Radio or watch TV? You could avoid programmes that worry you and not watch the News but what if there is a soap that you enjoy watching that introduces illness or worries that trigger you?
Papers and magazines? Should you stop reading them too?
Should you then become a recluse or a hermit without a TV and any contact with the outside world?
Like I say, I can understand the reasoning behind it but to what point should people avoid sources that could fuel their anxiety or is there another ulterior motive behind the reasoning...or are they just saying to avoid triggers as much as possible until you're well enough but I don't think you could stop watching TV in the meantime?
Perhaps you could ask him/her what they mean? I'd be interested.
Just some thoughts.:)
Bill I think with anxiety it's not avoidance they are concernd with, but the actual reminder constantly of the negativity that feeds an anxious mind. Using acceptance you give your symptoms and sensations no importance and then just get on with your life. Reading other people's post are just constant reminders and so does not allow the healing state to really take affect.
I see. I understand....but what about an elderly mother with a variety of illnesses or watching TV or even talking to friends who might want to talk about their worries or illnesses?
I've always hated illnesses so I tend not to read the health anxiety section on here but I had to support my mother look after my father, care for my mother to the end and also care for OH.
I'm just curious about the difference between life and this site except that here you can not visit here but you can't not be a part of life and real people unless you become a recluse.
Why do we then have real life anxiety and depression groups or are they for those who aren't feeling anxious or depressed?
Sorry. I'm not meaning to be difficult. I DO understand the reason they give but I can't quite figure out the difference, that's all:blush:
I think these sites are great for people to gain an incite into their problems, lets face it we don't get much help from our docs but i also think that her hypnotist is right in saying that its best to stay away from anxiety sites while he is working with her.
I would imagine he is trying to change her way of thinking and to make her anxiety a thing of the past and this cant happen if you are constantly reminding yourself of it. She will have triggers in everyday life but i expect he is teaching her to control them.
I joined a childhood abuse site a long time ago, they taught me so much about myself, and they were always there when i needed them but when i started counselling i decided to leave the site because i was just staying in the victim mode rather than moving forward.
I wish her all the luck in the world.
It's an iteresting one because I can see both sides to the argument. I can't help thinking that if they advise anxiety sufferers not visit sites like his, ould it also mean that people suffering from any type of mental/physical illness should also not visit sites with people who share their particular conditions too?
Also, you say you left here when you started counselling to stop being in victim mode when I guess you could also say that when a doctor is training, he needs to learn through experience so you could say a counsellor could learn lot from peoples experiences on here.
Like I say, I'm not meaning to be awkwad. I'm just find it an interesting question where I can see both sides in the debate.
I wonder, do you think it comes down to personal choice but if so, should people be told not to visit sites?
I mean, you often come across people on here who can't resist google when looking up worries fuels their anxiety just as it would if you had a medical dictionary.
And like I say, what about real life support groups? Should they exist and for whom?
I know when I don't feel well, I don't come here or I don't look at particular sections but finding triggers in real life are unavoidable.
Sorry. I just find it interesting but I don't know what is right/wrong or where you would draw the line.:hugs:
"to heal is to be healed".
Hi Bill
For me personally Ive learnt so much on these sites from people who suffer from the same conditions as me, the only people who truly understand are the people who go through the same experiences, we are all too confusing for the docs to work out i think.
My counsellor doesnt do CBT but she decided that it would be a good idea for me to have a few sessions with somebody else, i couldn't see her during this time because she didn't want me to get confused with two therapy's and i expect that the hypnotist is thinking on the same lines.
It is a personal choice to whether you come on sites like this but some therapist prefer you to take their advice while they are working with you rather than listening to other people.
It all gets a bit confusing for me too Bill, there is no right or wrong really, what works for one might not work for another.
interesting thread, and i agree with London, if reading or talking about problems is bad for you then your hypnotherapist must be in a bad mess (not unless she switches off in sessions ;) )
anyway i am divided on the subject, in some ways i think coming here is great (if you read the advice and put some of it into action), however if you ignore some of the wonderful advice here and just come for reassurance with little plan to change then maybe thats not so good and may delay any recovery, i reckon.........
thetube82
Thank you:hugs: I must admit I find it confusing too. Maybe it's one of those wonders the Internet has intruduced!
When I lost my mother they offered a support group. I felt I couldn't go because I knew I'd come away feeling more depressed after listening to all the illnesses people they had cared for had suffered from and yet I would have received comfort from them as well. I would have had the same issue if their group was an internet site but I did see a therapist and I'm still receiving counselling.
It's almost as if sites like this are regarded as medical dictionaries which I can honestly understand but what about the people behind their worries?
I feel one of our main fears is being alone wth our anxiety so if we cut ourselves from people who understand, would we really feel better? There are pros and cons I think. Some people will gain support from here, others will feel more ill and for me personally, I come here when I feel well enough to offer support or to talk to people who I know will undertstand what I'm going through.
For instance, I've had a terrible year because of my mothers illness, caring for her alone and not being able to share the horrible things I experienced as she deteriorated. If it wasn't for this site and the Lovely people like yourself who visit here, I may well be feeling far worse then I am but I admit reading about illness does still affect me but peoples wellbeing outweighs my own anxiety so I find myself keep coming back to be with people I love here.
This site to me has always been my "support group" so when people here leave I must admit I do feel sad because every person I've met through posts on here I remember, and I never stop caring about them. I could even name some who I only knew through their posts but I still think of them wondering if they're ok.
It's a funny term really - "leaving"- because there is nothing to prevent someone from clicking this site address to see how old friends are doing. I'd like to think it just means people stop posting but will be back when they feel better.
Maybe I'm wrong but to me NMP is a family. We care and support each other even though you do get the odd rough diamond that can't fit in. I would never want NMP to become anything else but sometimes I feel there are those who visit here for other means.
On the whole, I don't think I've found people here confusing to work out because we're all afraid of something and perhaps reading someones troubles does trigger my own anxiety at times but so do peoples illnesses in real life.
If you lived at home with your parents and both of them kept filling you with worries, would you leave home? I'm sorry, because although I can understand the reasoning, I'm not sure if it makes it right and that's where I find it confusing.:hugs:
Hi...My husband is Psychiatrist,working in hospital he has no problem with me joining this site.I do no take other people's issue to bed with me at night,I come on site more now because spending more time at home and I like to say hello to all the kind and generous friends I have made on my journey through dark days,I play the games and the arcade I find it great.
Petra x
My husband is Psychiatrist,working in hospital he has no problem with me joining this site.
If the professionals can't agree, it makes you wonder if they should be leaving the decision up to the sufferer depending on whether the sufferer feels they benefit from sites like these or whether the sufferer feels sites like these make them feel worse.
There's a difference between saying someone "mustn't" and "advising" against it because the latter would mean you still could IF you feel you benefit from visiting as in Petra's case.:hugs:
The difference with real life still stands though that no matter what you do or where you go, there will always be anxiety triggers that we have to face. I guess they might say that while we're receiving treatment, they would advise us to limit our exposure to triggers because they get in the way of treatment but you'd still want to watch TV, read papers etc which will cause our anxieties to surface.
Yes I agree with TV Bill,all you see hear about is Murder,rape, robbery, famine,floods,children neglected the rich getting richer and poor getting poorer the list goes on.Know wonder we have triggers to set off anxiety.:mad:
the other day i was able to send an email to a old friend i had not written to for 2 years because of my withdrawal from life in general. they connacted me through my daughters facebook page. unknown to me she is suffering the same as me and for 2 years i never knew. writing threads on this site gave has given me a new found condidence in communication. i only write threads when i feel strong enough and i only read them if i feel strong enough, so i choose when to use the site, but when i am bad i use the game pages. good distraction. i would stay on the site just to play the games. i am a bit addicted to some but then its only replacing ocd.
I believe the issues are all down to negativities, if everybody posted about how well they progressed to wellness then there would be no issues. But often people state I have had anxiety for 10 plus years and nothing works or I got better and now I am in a downward spiral or just plain day to day frustrations.
This does not in anyway decry the debillitating effect that anxiety has on a lot of people. To understand how anxiety sensitises the Amygdala gives a clue, to get that sensitivity reduced you have to change neural pathways and that needs a very positive outlook and a complete change of thinking.
The issue is though we are all different and have different support needs. This site is very good for those through no fault of their own cannot adhere to the rigidity of following a treatment programme, that requires 100% faith in a technique that relies on positivity and acceptance. It takes a very very strong person to totally accept that symptoms and sensations are just somatic and has no relevance to a disease process. As Claire Weeks stated this heightened sensitivity is because of the way we think, half empty glass instead of half full glass
Can I just say I am impressed by everyone's very neutral respose to this thread - you would all make great therapists :)
It's all down to the individual
I myself have told some patients to avoid forums for a while if I see that they are taking it all in too much and triggering their own anxiety
But - as some of you here will know - I often recommend that people seek some support from others here when they just feel too overwhelmed to deal with the feelings themselves.
CBT uses the term 'Behavioural Experiments' - I think this is a very useful way to look at things - try it and see what happens - 'experiment' like a scientist - it's not about shoulds or shouldn'ts.
On a side note - I don't see any replies from LittleHelper so maybe she's taken a break anyway :)
Hi Everyone,
Just found these posts.
I love this site. I do not know how I would have coped without it.
I have friends on here who I know will not desert me --as on the "outside" I have know one who understands me better.
We all have our niggles ,problems ,etc. When I read other people's worries I will try to comfort them,or help in any way. It does not keep me awake at night, other
problems that are mine DO.
Bill and London have got it so right
I disagree Bill and London have not understood the concept of lowering anxiety sensitivity.
The councelor would not be in a bad way because he/she is not suffering from anxiety. He does not need to change his/her neural pathways. So that argument does not hold water.
Littlehelper123
18-11-11, 17:05
wow sorry - didn't mean to cause any arguments on here =S didn't expect this many people to comment!!
I am doing OK , just come on here because a friend told me tons of people were posting on my post so HI! lol
It's up to the sufferer as to what they do - for me i'm giving it a go and if i need some support and my family or friends aren't around then i come here
Its a matter of personal choice =) But if someone professional suggests a break from it then give it a go!
Hope you are all well!
xxx
Little helper, it's not arguments it's just a good old fashioned debate. Yes it's a personal choice at the end of it and you do what's best for you.
Yeah i though it was quite a diplomatic debate as well compared to some Ive seen on here anyway.
Theres no point in here spending out money seeing her hypnotherapist and going against his believes. She knows she can come back if she needs to but she has decided to try another approach, i wish her well......let us know how you get on though.
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