Christmas Arrrrgh!!

[Purple Fish]

Hey all,

I'm after some advice really. I have kept on top of my anxiety for so long now but it's really being tested at the moment!

I've had xmas day planned for months now. My mum, dad, godparents and my godmum's brother are coming for dinner. I have asked my brother if he is coming round later, as he usually does because he has to visit his in-laws that day too. He has just moved from a flat to a house with his wife and has now asked us to go round his xmas evening. I have told him we have company but he seems to think we can all go round still.
We're not going to be eating til late afternoon and we don't want to go.
My mum obviously does so she is now torn between us both!
The tension is building up big time and my mum as always is trying to control the situation. It doesn't help that my brother is the favourite anyway and they always do things together!

Anxiety level at the mo is pretty high!!

:shrug:

[diane07]

I remember having the exact same thing happen to me with one of my brothers and like you i really didn't want to go, anyway i felt a bit guilty as the day went on and ended up going round with everyone who had been at my house for dinner that day and i have to say i had a ball.

I'm not saying for one minute that you should feel that you have to go, i only planned on staying an hour just to show my face and ended up at my brothers till late hours.

Sadly with christmas, its a case of trying to please everyone and sometimes you just can't, so you should go with whatever you feel, i wouldn't feel forced to do something that i really didn't want to do, but it may just be a case of your brother wants you all round at his because its his first house.

It's a difficult one but i wish you luck on whatever you decide to do.

di xx

[Purple Fish]

It's so tricky because in the two and a half years that they lived in the flat we only got asked round over christmas once! I always end up looking the bad one as I like to make my own decisions and take my own family into consideration. My hubby is adamant we're not going as our plans were made way before.
To be honest I can't stand my sis-in-law's family as they don't really speak to us and I can't think of anything worse! We had to spend xmas day with them all at my mum and dad's last year!

Ho hum!

[diane07]

Well you don't want to be falling out with hubby over christmas so i'd just tell them thanks for the offer but you've already made your arrangements, you certainly don't want to ruin yours and hubbys christmas over it.

[Magic]

Hi Purplefish,
This is why I don't like xmax. Its so stressfull. You will be shattered.
Can you have your dinner a little earlier,then all go to your brothers.
what about havin drink,will someone have to drive, or is it in walking distance?
OR could anything be arranged for Boxing day for whoever wants to go?
Don't give in ---do what you want to do

[Purple Fish]

Can't have dinner much earlier as mum's at work part of xmas day. It could be walked but then it would be a late return and it's about a 30 minute walk. We're all getting together boxing day at mum's anyway.
I'm not giving in and I've spoken to my brother and he's invited us round xmas eve so no probs.
It's my mum who's the battle and I'm seeing her later!

xx