Going out panick

[Sonia_65]

My sons just come and told me we should go to the shopping centre, as i've wanted to go for last couple of days. As much as I'm dying to go, these are my symptons before hand.

here I go panick starts kicking in, planning my route starts kicking in, worried there will be alot of traffic, where will I park the car? will my son moan If I tell him I want to drive in the back roads cos, I know no traffic there) will he moan if I park the car far from the shopping centre where the private houses are? yes I am scared they will get fed up of me fearing NOTHING!

Damn brain, whats wrong with you, you have failed your M.O.T lol

---------- Post added at 14:06 ---------- Previous post was at 14:03 ----------

hmmm am I writing to much on here, will I bore people? i dunno...

[Mr.Jitters]

I completely sympathise with you here. I was like this for far too long.

Situations can't harm you. Sitting in the car, whatever route you take, is no different to sitting on the sofa at home. Walking in a shopping centre is no different to walking in your kitchen. The only thing that's different is your state of mind. You needn't worry about escape, because there's nothing to escape from... as you can't escape from yourself. There's just a lot more going on around you than at home. Traffic is no different to watching a boring documentary. Traffic lights are like waiting for the microwave to finish. Focusing on what's going on around me helps me to stop focusing on myself. It's really important to remember that going to the shopping centre or the journey itself can't make you ill, or anxious. It's us that make ourselves anxious, and knowing that it's unimportant, however bad it feels, is the only way we can stop ourselves from being over anxious.

Have you tried visualising events after a successful trip to the shopping centre, rather than focusing on worrying about, 'what if!?'s?

Think positive reinforcement. You can do this, and you'll have the memory of having done it to bolster you for a while. And next time, it won't be quite so hard because you'll have proved to yourself that nothing bad will happen, and feeling awful doesn't really matter - because you can do it anyway.

Will you let us know how it goes? :)

[pinkdove]

Hi sonia, have you spoke to your son about the way you feel, it would be much better if he knew, and you could do this together, (if he's old enough ) it is very hard, but is never as bad as we imagine, try not to think to hard about it before you go (hard i know) but even if you go for a short time, it will be a huge step. good luck x

[Sonia_65]

I made up an excuse just before leaving the house and told him "it would have been easier for you to take the train" see the train station is just round the corner from us, he replied by saying "ok I'll go tommorow" so we ended up not going....

[Andy_B]

I have been in similar situations so I can totally sympathise with you. I have hidden my anxieties well in the past, and have just side stepped the major issues and gone and done something else instead.

I tend to make a list as to the reasons I am going somewhere. Having a goal can be pretty important and enables me to focus my thoughts on achieving those, even for things like getting milk etc or clothes shopping. Visiting friends or going out with the family.

If I keep my little goals in mind I can usually control my anxiety to the point where it doesn't over come me. It's not always possible, but worth the effort.