Advice

[will beswick]

Just a quick one here guys - every so often I pop my head round the corner and see what going on with this site as its fantastic that there is so much discission to help people 'offload'. If I can help at all, then please dont hesitate to ask a question here - I have written before and dont want to be a permanent feature as people can help each other but what I do want to do is say that there is 'so much' consistency with what so many people are going through on here...if you read the titles - so many of you have things in common and this is what I would like to address.

The first thing is 'desperation'. The second thing is the same/similar symptom of panic/anxiety - tension. The third thing is the 'vicious circle'...a cycle of moving in and out of solution to solution - little ways of dealing with your angst - almost like clutching at straws because there seems no real fix. Thing is with all of this - we struggle to take stock when somebody says something to us because we have tried it all before and because it 'doesnt work' ...no wonder we just feel like we have to find whatever we can to stop the rot - even 'if' it is only temporary.

To keep it brief I feel its important to comment here to tell you that you 'can' get through this - and in fact, based on what I have learned and also helped people to recover from anxiety (and no not from the pains of life!) is that there is ONE very obvious process 'going on' with so many (all?) of you.

That is post-thought retrospection. What is this I hear you say! Werll, the thing is with panic sufferers is that they get 'so' lost, they cannot see there are 2 separate processes going on - one is those very 'normal (ok so not nice) natural thoughts and 2. is that 'going back' into those thoughts actually, when they have 'just' happened. The 'secondary panic' really 'is' unnecessary and is typified by a forced (yes it is!) tensed 'reaction' to what you have just thought. Before you know, it just envelopes you, you cant see the woods for the trees and just think youre doomed!

So remember this - 'if' you can just understand that ANY of your thinking positive OR negative IS Ok - you might then start to understand that it is your subsequent 'reaction' which really causes all the problems. So, you CAN be in bad flow as the normal you - yes it can be very painful, but not half as bad as having to deal with the reacting after. In fact, you are stopping yourselves flowing 'through' those bad thoughts by forcefully rising up 'against' them.

Please feel free anyway - I can answer any question here - yes it 'does' get fruity at times as many people are convinced its something chemical etc - but I will stand my ground!! Yes, we 'do' have a tendency to suffer it more than many - but that 'can' be shaped! cheers Will :blush:

[william wallace]

So Will, are you a sufferer or a psychologist, or both?
Regards, WW

[will beswick]

Hi WIlliam I am an ex sufferer and I don't say that lightly! Feel free anyway as if anyone wants to input their situation I will try to help. I have been running my site now for 6 years...sorry can't plug it here, so hopefully I know what IM talking about now. Chrs

'We simply have to aim to be at 'peace' with the good the bad and the downright ugly...ALL that we feel or think. How do we achieve this? Well simply by 'not' rising up against that natural spread of thinking by false forced tension'

[will beswick]

Ok...so heres the first input for everybody. Try to follow this through as I will outline the steps briefly here..then feel free to get back to me and let me know how you do!!


Yield....to life

Ok well here is the summary of what I'm on about! What I want you to visualise is your flowing mind - what is important here is that 'flow', you understand, is a myriad of good, bad, and sometimes bl**dy awful thoughts and feelings. In fact, it is also comprised of 'imperfect' actions too - where you 'may' not like things youve done, said etc. So visualise that 'flow' as an imperfectly experiencing mind state. However, I also want you to understand that there is NOTHING you can 'do' about any of this - your mind flow is something that you just 'cannot' help. Pressure off.

So visualising this is knowing you need to 'accept' your inflow unconditionally - its something you cannot help and should not therefore try to tinker with!! Why? Well here comes the next bit so pay attention!! If you can understand now that you can have ANY thought,feeling or indeed action/behaviour 'in' that subconscious flow - then you will now need to know what you 'don't' need to do - that is namely your panic...your tensed up interference which 'breaks' that flow.

So what I am saying is that panic /anxiety sufferers really do not like their flow, or what is has to 'offer'. They dont feel totally in control with it, as by nature it is an 'imperfect' state. So now I want you to picture what that means for the panic sufferer in reality - can you level with it?....

So, because we may have a very active, detailed/extremely creative, caring, or worrying mind - we get to times in our lives when we really hate the prediacment we're in - i.e. our incoming flow - especially through times of stress/pressure. That flow I talked about is 'now' typified by little 'pockets' of ''resistance'' - imagine these as individual rises in tension during that flow - this is our panic.

This is you combating/challenging or tensing up and running from your flow - each time you have an 'experience/thought/feeling' that you dont like...and this 'could' be almost every second of your waking moment - a completely horrible experience as we all know. So, what can we 'do' about it?

This is where..ok I have given you the CBT bit about 'understanding' that you really CAN think ANYTHING and cant help it...BUT...the next thing is that solution to your ills.

Poeple get this wrong because they are constantly 'doing' something to cure their discomfort, but this is the 'opposite' of what you should be doing!! So getting back to those pockets of resistance - this 'tensing up' against your thoughts is exactly what it means - you are tensing up against thoughts that you have JUST had - it is 'always' retrospective.

A pointless process where you are simply, though I know unwittingly, trying too hard to control/run from things that have just GONE. tHE SOLUTION? wELL - THAT FOREVER BROKEN LINE OF FLOW IS TYPIFIED BY YOU effortfully FORCING A TENSED UP RESISTANCE EVERYTIME YOU HAVE A THOUGHT/FEELING That YOU DONT like (sorry about caps mess up!!)....IF you just remember that everytime you get ready to tense up to resist what your thinking/feeling - that this is UNNECESSARY - it wont sort out something that has just happened. Your flow WILL sort you out...no need for any conscious interference by tensing up and resisting that flow.

Ok so you will have to accept that this is life - it is you, but trust is accepting that you basically 'get what youre given'! This is subconcious 'accepting' flow - so my solution is very much a 'not do' as the panic sufferer goes into excess...doing too much rather than too little. This does take you to 'steel' yourself as it will 'take time' to change that bad panic habit - but you will feel better if you set yourself on the right road by not tensing each time youre tempted (dont worry about 'having' that temptation either - it will subside in time).

So, to conclude, imagine that 'imperfect, somtimes uncomfortable' flowing line of your mind - and every time you sense that temptation to tense up and resist - just hold off it/dont do it - as this tensing up is unnecessary and takes MORE EFFORT. Will

Ps I will also next time reveal what 'then' happens if we do go 'with' our flow 100% - just by 'not doing' when tempted. As a panic sufferer, you might be surprised as we will steadily start to realise our 'best' chance of control in life is where we rely on that momentary 'not consciously controlled' flow and the positives will then start to come in and actually 'stick'. Any comments please fire away - it will keep this topic current! Will:roflmao: