given a great opportunity but scared

[kaythescamp]

Hi everyone.well i have been doing really well.i have managed to controle my panic attacks now i know what they are and know when i am about to have one.I have taken my self of citalopram as i did not want to stay on if if i could manage.Anyway,me my son who is 5 and my partner have been given the chance to go to disney in florida for a week.This is a once in a lifetime thing as a holiday of anykind or one like this would never of happened.I really want to go but im getting all the what ifs thoughts.will i be ok on a flight for 9 hours,will i be able to walk without feeling like im going to pass out.how do i know this is all real (derealization).I know there all in my head and i know i can cope with panic attacks they will pass.The heat is another worry.Since when i had my first attack when i feel hot i start to panic because thats one of the things i experience while having a attack.It will be april so it will not be hight of summer but i know its still going to be warm.anything of 20 degrees i hate it.i really want to make this happen for my son how would be so happy and so would my partner ashe has never been abroad before but i cannot get these horriblw what ifs thoughts out my head.its not like a 2 hour trip and ill be home its another country and the only way back is by plane for 9 and half hours.:weep:

[baileys]

I think you need to concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives.
My anxiety's are greater when Im in my at home, doing the same old thing and going to same places that remind me to be anxious. I'm a lot better when i get away on holiday and out of the same routine.
I can control my panic attacks now but i do suffer with derealisation and i know how scary that is but it does pass.

The worst that can happen is that you stay at home and don't go.
And if you decide you really cant go, i will take your place.:D

[vicky23]

I completely relate to your conflict over really wanting to go but being very scared also.
It's a decision only you can make but I guess you could look at it in this way.....
rather than asking 'what if...' turn it around to 'so what if'
so what if you have panic attacks you've been through them before and you know how to deal with them.
So what if you feel really uncomfortable in the heat, you can dress accordingly and have a good stock of that stuff you spray on your self to make you cool (I forget the name now)
So what if you walk and feel like you're going to pass out? Im sure you've felt like that before and you survived.
Those are all things that could happen, only you know the likelyhood of whether they will or not.
However the things that you do know are:
You're partner and son would be very happy and excited at visiting such an amazing place
You would be very happy and excited for the same reason and also because you get joy from seeing them happy.
So I guess you've just got to weigh up the risk of negative vs the hope of positives. If you do decide to go, then make a plan so you're very prepared for all kinds of things that make you scared which will hopefully give you a bit of comfort.
If you feel that it's just too much and you can't go, don't beat yourself up! We know how very very hard it is to overcome anxiety. If anyone judges you tell them to just go skydiving or bungee jumping or swimming with sharks and see their reaction then!
Best wishes

[pinkdove]

hi , i know exactly how you are feeling, about being away from your comfort zone, but i am also better when i am out or amongst people, you will make the right decision for you, don't be too hard on yourself, good luck.

[kaythescamp]

thankyou for your replies.i was agrophobic for well over a year.and hated even hanging my washing out.im so much better then before.im going to force myself to go.i couldnt even manage a day trip to skegness in the summer.its a while away yet thought i think thats the problem its giving me time to sit and think about it.where as if it was right ok were going tomorow i dont think id be as worried.i was think of asking the dr to see about i think its diazipam you can take like before you go to calm you down.its all the waiting aswell at the airport for 2 hours before you go