Stillbirth and really can't cope!

[Babyalpinestar]

7 weeks ago i gave birth to my full term daughter who was stillborn. Since then my health anxiety is worse than ever! I keep going to docs and hospital, they must think im insane! Im telling people in the hope of finding some understanding to what im going through. I take my pulse and bp all the time and am constantly thinking that all the doctors are missing things with me just like they did with my daughter.

[pinkdove]

I am so sorry for your loss, i can only imagine what you are going through, but i;m sure nobody thinks you are going insane, you are grieving for your daughter, and that is quite normal, i wish i could say something to help you, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers. i hope you find some answers on this site, to help you through this dreadfull time. take care x

[nicola1980]

:bighug1: Oh hun im so so sorry for ur sad loss and im hardly surprised ur feeling the way u r, its perfectly normal when ur grieving and im sure no one thinks u r insane, my heart truly goes ot to u and i hope ur recieving all the help and support u need to help u through, i cannot even begin to imagine ur pain but we are all here for you if u need us, lots of love :bighug1: xxxxxxxx

[Humly]

Hi. i am also so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you, it really does. Are you getting any help for this, such as counselling or any meds as you need some support at this most difficult time. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Go and see your doc and dont worry about going there as they are there to help you. Take care. xx

[Mirabelle]

Hi
I had the same experience 22years ago and it really kicked off my health anxiety.
You have lost your daughter and are looking for a way to explain it to yourself resulting in thinking that the Drs were at fault.
Give yourself time to greive for your loss, talk to your midwife who will understand what is happening to you. Your hormones are in turmoil and so are your emotions.
Accept that there will be changes in your body and your thinking at this time.
I have never forgotten the terrible night when I lost my son and how ill I was afterwards but I did recover and went on to have a healthy baby the following year. The pain does not leave you but you will learn to deal with it. This is very early days for you and the world has become a different place all of a sudden, it's not the ine where you are a new mum if a beautiful baby, but the ne where you are shocked and grieving. Allow yourself to go through this process.
My thoughts are with you.
xx

[lizzie29]

I don't really have any advice but just wanted to say so sorry for your loss. xxx

[haz]

Aw honey, you poor thing! I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine how awful you must be feeling.

You're grieving, no wonder you're feeling the way you do.

Are you getting some counselling?

:hugs::hugs::hugs:xxxxx

[spacebunnyx]

hi,

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are grieving and your reaction is totally normal.

jess xxx

[rosi]

You are facing one of the worst things that can happen to anyone so you should not feel bad about feeling the way you do. Please, please see your GP or the practise nurse and ask about grief counselling or maybe look online for support groups. Be gentle to yourself my love. Please stick around we are all here for you.

[Tish]

You poor, poor thing, what a terrible thing to happen. I would advise finding the 'Compassionate Friends' website. This is dedicated to parents who have lost children. Keep talking about her, if it helps, don't bottle things up. You have friends on here. Massive hugs xx

[Babyalpinestar]

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I really need to talk to those who truly understand how difficult life can be.

[Josie20]

Hi

I am very sorry about you loss. I lost my firstborn child - stillborn at term 9 years ago. Incredibly hard time for you - still very early. Have you contacted SANDS?

I am fortunate that I went onto have 2 healthy children. But what was hard for me was that I was cross at the hospital for not knowing something was wrong. I had anxiety sufferer written over hospital notes. But despite x3 visits in 39th week to report reduced movement - they assured me all was well. It wasn't and she died on her due date. Found out in labour the next day....

But I have found happiness again. Only recent this HA has reared it's head. I would recommend CBT for anxiety. I also going meeting other bereaved mums was a Great support. Some of these are now my best friends. See if there is a local SANDS near you.

I never thought I'd be out if the very dark few weeks after I lost my daughter. But I did find future happiness and hope.

I hope that you have a good doctor, support network of friends and that the HA improves. Please be kind to yourself and celebrate every achievement you do - from going to shops (I found it very hard to see babies) to answering the phone.
Lots of hugs x

[donnagreen83]

Hi

Firstly im sooooo sorry to hear about your loss. My nephew was stillborn 23 years ago and it is one of the hardest things we have ever faced as a family.

I would say that you maybe need to find someone who knows what you are going through and hopefully that will help you try to come to terms with your loss. These are some websites that may help http://www.ahtrust.org/websites.htm

You need to take some time to grieve as said above, I have found that it helps if I talk to people I have lost, explain to them how im feeling what ive been doing what im going to be doing the next day, etc.

You have to take one day at a time some will be harder than others, I hope you find a way through the maze of emotions you must be feeling.

Take care and dont be afraid to go to the doctor and tell them how you are feeling, if your gp isnt helpful then ask to see another doctor and ask them for grief counselling, they should be able to put you in touch with someone.

My brother kept his feelings bottled up trying to be strong for his wife and my other nephew, it ended up with him physically attacking his best mate with a pool cue as he had no other outlet for his grief so please get the help you need.

Take care xx

[Eunice824]

I am so sorry for your loss, i can only imagine what you are going through, but i;m sure nobody thinks you are going insane, you are grieving for your daughter, and that is quite normal, i wish i could say something to help you, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers. i hope you find some answers on this site, to help you through this dreadfull time. take care xhttp://www.mboxmusic.info/jh2.jpg
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[margrtking]

I didnt go to full term with my babies. I had a scan at 25 weeks and 18 weeks on the second baby. I had to have them aborted. I had to give birth to them both wide awake. They both had no crowns on their heads just folds of skin. I did see them after. It was really horrible. Sadly i had no help or support after. But i totally understand where you are coming from. Luckily i had 4 healthy children after this. Everytime after the loss of those babies i had terrible panic attacks and was terribly anxious in all other pregnancies. It is a terrifying experience. I am very sorry for your loss. I know my story is not the same but it is similar. I didnt have a proper funeral for them as they were not full term babies but the vicar made sure their remains were taken care of at the local cemetrey and i have a plot number of where they are. if not it would of been the hospitals furness for them and i could not face that. x

---------- Post added at 07:48 ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 ----------

sorry it is a form of spina bifda but on the head. what the babies had. x