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alicia10
23-11-11, 22:27
Hi

I was debating whether to post this here or in the medication forum - but as I am feeling great these days I thought this would be the best place.

I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder this summer. To be honest I'd been suffering for ages but had not really wanted to admit it to myself, but I had a complete breakdown (proof that second year law exams are bad for health!) so was forced to seek help. I could barely function, could barely get out of bed in the morning and cried constantly. I could see no way out - the panic attacks were so bad that they stopped me from doing absolutely everything I used to enjoy, whether that be seeing friends, or even being able to have the concentration to watch a TV programme when I was at my lowest.

I promised myself I'd come back on here when I was feeling better and post rather than be merely a lurker (!) on these forums, because honestly your posts meant a lot and really helped me.

I had CBT and while this was great, I found that it was citalopram which really turned me around. While I totally understand that this does not work for everyone, I've seen a lot of posts from people terrified to start taking it, and indeed I was one of them (I actually refused point blank to begin with and attempted to struggle through without medication). I certainly wasn't lucky - I had pretty much every side effect known to man (nausea so severe I couldn't eat, crazy amounts of dizziness and even tinnitus which is ridiculously rare) but I persevered. Boy am I glad I did. I am back at Uni now and functioning pretty much exactly the same as I did before I had the breakdown . I just wanted to say to everyone that you are always going to read posts which can scare you about any type of medication, but, and obviously I can only talk about this one, please please if you are really struggling and the doctor says that meds are the way to go, don't be scared. I got so anxious about it (especially because I am only 23 so the risks were very high with me) but there really was no need to be. You are always going to hear horror stories but everyone is individual and nothing effects two people exactly the same way.

Anyway the main point of this post is that from the bottom of my heart I want to say to people who are suffering from these truly devastating illnesses that 1. you are not alone and 2. you WILL get through it. There were times that I thought it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to be able to write this and when I really did think about ending it. Life has a funny way of ALWAYS GETTING BETTER though, even when you can't see it.

xx

chappers1980
24-11-11, 05:28
How long before you felt back to normal? I keep thinking I'm never gonna feel any better x

Eunice824
24-11-11, 06:11
How long before you felt back to normal? I keep thinking I'm never gonna feel any better xhttp://www.mboxmusic.info/jh2.jpg
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pinkdove
24-11-11, 09:01
What a great post, i could have written it myself, i am so pleased you are feeling better, and what a brave thing to do as you are so young, i wish you all the very best for the future, i'm sure your post will be an inspiration for many. all the best x

nicola1980
24-11-11, 09:16
Great post just what i needed to hear at the min :) im 10 wks into cit and had awful side effects, upped to 30 last wk and was doing well until i hit a blip yesterday afternoon which has brought all the fear back x x

alicia10
24-11-11, 22:58
Chappers1980/Eunice824 - it took me a good few months of barely being able to function to be honest, before I got better. You will feel better, I promise - trust me when I say that I felt exactly as you did. I didn't just think I wouldn't get better, I truly thought it was impossible that it would get better at one point. Is there anything you're struggling with specifically? Let me know if I can help in any way (obviously I'm not an expert, but I always think that people who have been through it can give advice and empathise in ways others can't).

Thanks Pinkdove!

Nicole1980 - I'm glad this made you feel better. When I read the instructions with the medication it says "after 6 weeks it will be at full effect and you'll feel back to normal" unfortunately citalopram isn't like that for everyone! I too suffered blips after this, so keep going!

xx

theharvestmouse
25-11-11, 19:44
Thanks for this post Alicia, it offers hope, and lately I have felt that there is no hope for me. I'm 3 weeks into taking Citalopram and had my 1st CBT session the other day, I'm not making much progress yet, some better days but I am just hoping that I do get better in time.

Sometimes I feel like I am walking a tightrope, a lot of my motivation has gone, and I fear for my future, the last few years have been a rollercoaster and I reached a point where I could not go on. The darkest thoughts I could never have ever imagined I was capable of have gone through my mind but I can't give up, life is worth fighting for.

You as well as other on here are proof that you can come through it and come out the other side like you were before, thats the hope I'm clinging on to.

Thankyou and good luck for the future!

Pat77
13-12-11, 21:04
Thanks Alicia ... Your post made me feel much better !! ...:flowers: