Phased Returns- some advice

[chappers1980]

Hi peeps,

I'm onto my 4th day of my phased return (supposed to be just doing mornings). However today I am absolutely shattered.

I just wondered what hours/days people did on their phased return. When I did one a couple of years ago, I started off a lot slower than I have this time. So I'm wondering if I am doing so much too quick and if i should be having some rest days in the week.

I'm still having some trouble getting my sleeping patterns settled and coupled with going back to work, its taking its toll.

Work haven't really given me a set plan, they are leaving it up to me, however I don't want to pee them off but equally I will be worse in the long run if I don't take things steady.

Any advice??

---------- Post added at 08:51 ---------- Previous post was at 05:13 ----------

So after lots of tears this morning, decided that I had indeed been trying to push myself too much. I just don't want to let my employer down. I called them this morning and said I had underestimated how tired I would be and that I need rest days as part of my phased return and that I would put together a proper schedule so they knew what I was working towards. They had kind of left it all up to me to sort myself out with no structure which I think hasn't helped.

I do feel a bit defeatist that I should be able to manage 4 hours at work for a week but keep having to remind myself that I'm not actually better and my Citalopram isn't fully working yet so I am going to feel pants. I've been pushing myself because I worry that if I don't I will become worse but I guess its probably not the best idea to push yourself that quickly.

Does anyone else feel the same?

[nicola1980]

Hi im not actually working at the min (not due to my anxiety and panics) but i felt loads better past few days that ive done 2 much really, had a wave of panic hit me out the blue as they do yesterday on the school and it knocked me for 6 and had that fear and dread overcome me again which is still with me this morning to the point ive spent mmst of this morning in tears and retching again! Like u its early days of cit 4 me i only increased to 30 last tues, we r still only early in our recovery and need to take it easy x x

[william wallace]

The first week of my phased return I started on the Wedensday morning at 08.30 until 12.30. Second week was Monday to Thursday 0830 until 1430 with Friday Saturday Sunday off. Third week Monday to Friday 08.30 until 14.30. Fourth week was back to normal 08.30 until 16.30. Fifth week my employer gave me notice of redundancy.
Take it easy Chappers:hugs:

[chappers1980]

Thanks guys for the advice, now I've had some sleep this morning, my brain is back in perspective.

William- so sorry to hear that, I'm hoping it wasn't anything to do with your illness as thats illegal if it was !

[william wallace]

What they are saying Chappers, is that due to a downturn in the oil industry, they are reducing the number in my team from 4 to 3. Yesterday they offered me a low, 4 figure sum, in addition to the usual redundancy payment to sign an agreement that I would not take them to a tribunal. I refused of course, and sent them homewards to think again:)

Glad to hear you're feeling better now x

[nicola1980]

The first week of my phased return I started on the Wedensday morning at 08.30 until 12.30. Second week was Monday to Thursday 0830 until 1430 with Friday Saturday Sunday off. Third week Monday to Friday 08.30 until 14.30. Fourth week was back to normal 08.30 until 16.30. Fifth week my employer gave me notice of redundancy.
Take it easy Chappers:hugs:

So sorry to hear that ww :hugs: bet thats not helped you in your recovery x x

[william wallace]

Thanks Nicola.
It was a real hard kick in the teeth at first, and knocked me back a couple of months. Picking up the pieces now though, and as my illness was work related stress coupled with exhaustion it's perhaps better that I'm out of there.
I'll find something else even if its washing pots or wiping arses in a care home.
Money isnt every thing:)xx

[nicola1980]

Thanks Nicola.
It was a real hard kick in the teeth at first, and knocked me back a couple of months. Picking up the pieces now though, and as my illness was work related stress coupled with exhaustion it's perhaps better that I'm out of there.
I'll find something else even if its washing pots or wiping arses in a care home.
Money isnt every thing:)xx
Good for you :D xx

[kittikat]

Hi Chappers...I hope you are on the mend as you are now on your phased return to work. I'm sure you will find the best way to deal with it and it's good they are letting you plan it yourself. I'm sure you will find a happy balance but don't over-do it or you may be back to square one before you know it.

Just a couple of questions and some advice (if you don't mind :blush:)
1) how long were you off work for initially before your return?
2) Does a phased return affect your salary?
3) How are you getting on with the Cit?

I ask this as I am in my 3rd week off and due back to docs on Monday. He has stated that I am not going back until he feels I am ready (but OMG how guilty do I feel anyway after 3 weeks off!) so I think a phased return may be on the cards for me too. Also I am worried as I can't afford to take a drop in salary which will only add to my anxiety :mad: I have been on diazepam but have just been prescribed Cit 20mg but I am so scared to take it as I know it can have side effects at the beginning...worry, worry lol.

We are all here to help eachother and I'm sure you will get lots of good advice. I wish you lots of luck and hope you find a happy balance in your dilemma.

[william wallace]

In my case Kittikat, I was paid full wages during my phased return. I dont think that all employers do this, but you should be able to find out more on this page
http://www.sohas.co.uk/publications/publication38.pdf
Do'nt feel guilty, it's not your fault:hugs:

[kittikat]

In my case Kittikat, I was paid full wages during my phased return. I dont think that all employers do this, but you should be able to find out more on this page
http://www.sohas.co.uk/publications/publication38.pdf
Do'nt feel guilty, it's not your fault:hugs:

Thanks for that William :winks:
What a bad turn of fate you had eh? Hope it has'nt set you back in your recovery..wish you all the best:)

[kirgray]

Hi Chappers Im glad i seen your post as i have been wandering about how to go about my phased return, I am to start next week for 2 weeks at 2 1/2 days and then the next 2 weeks 1 and a half days and then build it up slowly, but do i need to sort what days i am doing with my HR dept or manager? im not sure whether to just roll up on monday morning (dreading it will be a bundle of nerves!) ive just started on fluxotine so i also dont want to do too much as i am in the early stages still feeling up and down and tired

Hope your return goes ok for you :)

[chappers1980]

Hi Chappers Im glad i seen your post as i have been wandering about how to go about my phased return, I am to start next week for 2 weeks at 2 1/2 days and then the next 2 weeks 1 and a half days and then build it up slowly, but do i need to sort what days i am doing with my HR dept or manager? im not sure whether to just roll up on monday morning (dreading it will be a bundle of nerves!) ive just started on fluxotine so i also dont want to do too much as i am in the early stages still feeling up and down and tired

Hope your return goes ok for you :)

It won't be as bad as you think. My first day I was dreading it. If I were you, I would start midweek as then you only have a couple of days until the weekend, I wish that I had done that now but hey ho you live and learn.

I've decided I'm going to do Mornings on a Mon/Tue and then have Wed off then, then do Thur/Fri. I'll do an extra hour or so every day until I'm back up to full time in 4 weeks.

I was in a bit of state this morning, all i think because of tiredness, things always seem so much worse. This afternoon I feel a lot more calmer and at least I know I've only got to get through tomorrow morning and then its the weekend and I can snooze to my hearts content.

I'm going to say to my manager though that I want a weekly review to see how i'm getting on as you might feel like you could do more or might feel you need to do less like I have.

Realistically I think I've got another 3-4 weeks before my Citalopram totally starts working so this way it should tally a bit. Can't tell if its the Proprananol though thats making me tired, but doc says to take it so i will continue to shove it down!

Good luck and let me know how you get on x

---------- Post added at 16:50 ---------- Previous post was at 16:37 ----------


Hi Chappers...I hope you are on the mend as you are now on your phased return to work. I'm sure you will find the best way to deal with it and it's good they are letting you plan it yourself. I'm sure you will find a happy balance but don't over-do it or you may be back to square one before you know it.

Just a couple of questions and some advice (if you don't mind :blush:)
1) how long were you off work for initially before your return?
2) Does a phased return affect your salary?
3) How are you getting on with the Cit?

I ask this as I am in my 3rd week off and due back to docs on Monday. He has stated that I am not going back until he feels I am ready (but OMG how guilty do I feel anyway after 3 weeks off!) so I think a phased return may be on the cards for me too. Also I am worried as I can't afford to take a drop in salary which will only add to my anxiety :mad: I have been on diazepam but have just been prescribed Cit 20mg but I am so scared to take it as I know it can have side effects at the beginning...worry, worry lol.

We are all here to help eachother and I'm sure you will get lots of good advice. I wish you lots of luck and hope you find a happy balance in your dilemma.

Hiya

Don't worry about asking questions, for me it helps to talk about it, I don't feel so lonely then! Its hard as my husband is great but he doesn't always understand how difficult it is to pick yourself up. My parents are similar although they are getting better. Part of the problem for me is I tend to hide the way I am feeling for ages and then it builds.

1. I was off for about 5 weeks. I hadn't really expected it to be that long as after 2 weeks I was convinced I was fine. However being in floods of tears at the GP is not a good way to prove I could cope with work.

2. To be honest they've not mentioned it re: salary so I'm keeping my gob shut!. I'm not that fussed either way. They do have to pay you statutory sick pay though I think for the days that you don't work if the GP did you a note saying they recommend a phased return as technically you are still sick. It mentions something on the HRMC website.

3. On my Citalopram, I've had 14 days on 10mg, 6 days on 20mg, 18 days on 40mg so far so I know I've got a bit further to go before I notice the difference totally. I have days when I think yeh this is working and then other days when i think its doing bugger all. What is hard is that you can't tell what is naturally you and what is the drugs doing their work. However the GP did say that everytime I come up against a challenge (like work), it will set me back a few days until I get my confidence again. Tiredness is the biggest problem for me as generally whenever I am tired, i am a whole lot more anxious which then becomes a vicious cycle. But it is getting better, my husband says he can notice the difference in me in the last few weeks. Its very hard when you are "living it" as you can't see the wood for the trees and only remember the last time you felt bad rather than all the times you felt good.:D

[willigetwiser]

Chappers, just a thought, do you generally fell better as the day goes on - if so is it possible for you to start later in the day when you may have had more sleep (a definite need when taking citalopram). This might allow you to go into work when you have more energy.
I say this from my own experience - could hardly stay awake this morning. Felt very weary and actually gave in and had another hour sleep.
Went out to meet a good friend and for the first time in more than 18 months I have arranged to go to the gym.
This has for years been my only way of coping with life long depression (although I have to say for almost as long, outside of 2 major events I have tried to pretend I did not have a problem and so for years I have refused to take meds even when prescribed). --sentence too long I know and I do ramble on.
But a positive and no one will recognise me being positive...I can only put this down to the beneficial effects of the citalopram which might now be kicking in.
NB I am self employed and I have, because of failing to address my illness - depression - been digging myself a hole for years. A change altogether maybe the best thing but I keep saying the devil I know is better but this is now starting to look irrational.
As before thanks to all who comment. In many ways the community here has helped me tremendously - Chappers take care and William Wallace your job option made me grin.
From a job point of view there is a danger with some of us to value ourselves by the job we do which means in the work place we we put the pressure and stress on ourselves by always trying to be perfect. Others can operate within suitable limits, one being you get 80% of the task done in 20% of the time and then fine tune for 80% of the time. Some people walk away 90% done and are satisfied others kill themselves for the extra 10% and might not be any better thought of.......like I said I ramble on and clearly I also talk to myself..and maybe tonight I can laugh at myself a little bit for the first time in a long while

[Humly]

Hi chappers. I have been off work for 2 weeks and was thinking of going back on Monday but as I was also in floods of tears again at the docs today (and for a good few hours after) I guess that I too may not be ready. I also hide how I am feeling as I dont want to bring others down and also dont like to admit that I am not coping, and it all bursts out as it did today. Its a very lonely business this.

[chappers1980]

Chappers, just a thought, do you generally fell better as the day goes on - if so is it possible for you to start later in the day when you may have had more sleep (a definite need when taking citalopram). This might allow you to go into work when you have more energy.
I say this from my own experience - could hardly stay awake this morning. Felt very weary and actually gave in and had another hour sleep.
Went out to meet a good friend and for the first time in more than 18 months I have arranged to go to the gym.
This has for years been my only way of coping with life long depression (although I have to say for almost as long, outside of 2 major events I have tried to pretend I did not have a problem and so for years I have refused to take meds even when prescribed). --sentence too long I know and I do ramble on.
But a positive and no one will recognise me being positive...I can only put this down to the beneficial effects of the citalopram which might now be kicking in.
NB I am self employed and I have, because of failing to address my illness - depression - been digging myself a hole for years. A change altogether maybe the best thing but I keep saying the devil I know is better but this is now starting to look irrational.
As before thanks to all who comment. In many ways the community here has helped me tremendously - Chappers take care and William Wallace your job option made me grin.
From a job point of view there is a danger with some of us to value ourselves by the job we do which means in the work place we we put the pressure and stress on ourselves by always trying to be perfect. Others can operate within suitable limits, one being you get 80% of the task done in 20% of the time and then fine tune for 80% of the time. Some people walk away 90% done and are satisfied others kill themselves for the extra 10% and might not be any better thought of.......like I said I ramble on and clearly I also talk to myself..and maybe tonight I can laugh at myself a little bit for the first time in a long while

I did think about starting later but my biggest problem is anticipating anxiety, if I go in later, I will only spend the whole morning worrying about it. This way I get it over and done with as quick as possible so its a catch22 situation :roflmao:

I do think I have an issue with perfection and caring too much, I spent the whole morning worrying about letting my boss down by not going into today when I should be worrying about myself.

I have booked myself some CBT this afternoon, got my first session on Monday. I think realistically I can't do this on medication alone and long term the only way I fix myself is changing my thinking.

Thanks for the support x

---------- Post added at 17:48 ---------- Previous post was at 17:44 ----------


Hi chappers. I have been off work for 2 weeks and was thinking of going back on Monday but as I was also in floods of tears again at the docs today (and for a good few hours after) I guess that I too may not be ready. I also hide how I am feeling as I dont want to bring others down and also dont like to admit that I am not coping, and it all bursts out as it did today. Its a very lonely business this.

You will get there, everyone will in their own time so I would try not to compare yourself to other people. My GP was quite funny, she said you are better off having 4 weeks off as they will only save the work up if you just have 2 weeks!

I have on returning to work told the people I work with now what's been going on as it wasn't helping me hiding things. The great thing was a guy I work with admitted to me that he was on Citalopram too and he hadn't told anyone either as he was embarrassed like I was :)

[kittikat]

Don't worry about asking questions, for me it helps to talk about it, I don't feel so lonely then! Its hard as my husband is great but he doesn't always understand how difficult it is to pick yourself up. My parents are similar although they are getting better. Part of the problem for me is I tend to hide the way I am feeling for ages and then it builds.

Tiredness is the biggest problem for me as generally whenever I am tired, i am a whole lot more anxious which then becomes a vicious cycle. But it is getting better, my husband says he can notice the difference in me in the last few weeks. Its very hard when you are "living it" as you can't see the wood for the trees and only remember the last time you felt bad rather than all the times you felt good.:D

Thanks I really appreciate your answers. It really does help that we all seem to be in the same boat. As you say about hubby, they don't always really understand....my partner & family have been great too but I don't always want to say "I'm having a bad day...can't go out on my own today...not up to it at the moment...but I'm so tired etc" (I too am tired all the time). I've still not plucked up the courage to take the Cit...tomorrow morning I think!!! Thanks Chappers :)

ps. I liked your comment about 'Groundhog Day' in another post....so true, made me laugh :yesyes:

[chappers1980]

Thanks I really appreciate your answers. It really does help that we all seem to be in the same boat. As you say about hubby, they don't always really understand....my partner & family have been great too but I don't always want to say "I'm having a bad day...can't go out on my own today...not up to it at the moment...but I'm so tired etc" (I too am tired all the time). I've still not plucked up the courage to take the Cit...tomorrow morning I think!!! Thanks Chappers :)

ps. I liked your comment about 'Groundhog Day' in another post....so true, made me laugh :yesyes:

Please do not worry about the side effects of Cit, if thats what is putting you off. I'm not convinced that when everyone says they are experiencing side effects that its the Cit. All the side effects I had from my anxiety to begin with I just wouldn't admit it. However I do appreciate that everyone is different. You might feel worse before you get better but in the long run it wil l be worth it. No pain no gain! xxx