I dont think my job is helping me??

[Laine]

Hi everyone

I have severe HA and spend every minute of every day thinking that I'm dying or thinking about death.

I work as a medical receptionist and have been since May however I'm finding it increasingly hard hearing about patients that are ill or been diagnosed with terminal illness - something which I'm terrified of getting.

A few weeks ago I found out that a relative in my ex husbands family had been diagnosed with terminal cancer but obviously couldnt say anything to anyone until the family were told. The job is in my village about two minutes from my house, I personally know alot of the patients as I've lived here all my life, I dont have to worry about travelling in traffic or parking fees, in all ways its an ideal job but I dont think its helping my anxiety :weep:

[sirworryalot]

you're not alone worrying about that laine, my problem is the internet, every symptom i have tells me i have cancer of something..........

stick at it though, you're in the right environment to ask about your symptoms ( if you have any....) I work within the emergency services group as well and it has a simialr effect on me....you'll be surprised how many of us feel the same as you..;)

[Laine]

hi and thanks for replying, I dont really want to give up my job as its so local and convenient and of course the money comes in handy :)

will just have to see how it goes over the next few months.

[emmasaurus]

hi laine, i'm so sorry you're going through it at the moment. i too suffer from particularly severe health anxiety, which actually first clobbered me about ten months ago while i was working as a medical receptionist (i've been too ill to work since february). i think i must have been feeling increasingly stressed (what with work, uni and moving to a new city) anyway, however hearing about and having to deal with those with serious illnesses on a daily basis definitely didn't help. have you considered cbt - or some other form of therapy?

[Laine]

I've finally got my first cbt session next week, have had to wait two months but it came through at last.

Trouble is as everyone knows, its not easy finding jobs at the moment and I'd be so stupid giving up this one. I've already lost one job through depression and not being able to work!!

[AllInMyHead]

Laine, I'd definitely see how you get on with CBT before you make any decisions on the job.

In the long run, maybe it could even help you with your HA. Some people get sick, most people don't. Some people don't recover, most people do. It's all part of life, and hiding away from it and pretending it doesn't happen isn't necessarily a good way to handle it (not that I'm saying that's what you want to do, just speaking generally). Being so close to it might help you rationalise it more, with a bit of specialist help.

And, apart from the subject matter, it sounds like the perfect job - close to home, etc. If you gave it up, you might not have anything to occupy yourself and the get worse.

[ciccone-hassell]

i to have ha and have struggled with it for sum time now i'm currently awaiting cbt myself as find coping with this hard as my firends and family dont understand how i feel :( keep strong x