Fibromyalgia

[margrtking]

Has anyone got fibromyalgia i have had it for 15 years?

[mezzaninedoor]

I have 2 friends with fibromyalgia.
I used to think it was similar/same as Me but its different.
It's really hard to understand it as the closest friend who has it often is out and about enjoying herself until 2/3am in the morning AND then can't work a job / can't get out of bed another weekend.
Everything is on her terms.
I'm probably being very unfair and need to understand more.

Hope you are okay?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I have 2 friends with fibromyalgia.
I used to think it was similar/same as Me but its different.
It's really hard to understand it as the closest friend who has it often is out and about enjoying herself until 2/3am in the morning AND then can't work a job / can't get out of bed another weekend.
Everything is on her terms.
I'm probably being very unfair and need to understand more.

Hope you are okay?

I think anyone would be thinking the same, Tony. I doubt her employer would be so understanding if they knew and would be talking about how to prevent such situations (if she has regular employment). I don't mean any disrespect to your friend, just want to reassure you that you would be far from alone in wondering about this.

[NoPoet]

It's amazing what hurdles people can overcome to go out and get pissed. On the other hand, this is their way of coping for a lot of people, and your friend is probably used to people judging her for having a hidden disability - her employer hasn't got much say unless they want to breach the Equality Act 2010.

I've got a friend with fibromyalgia. She describes it as constant pain throughout her body which has drastically affected her mood and quality of life. She described it as three times worse than arthritis, but that cannot be true, unless she's got the pain tolerance of a Space Marine.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's amazing what hurdles people can overcome to go out and get pissed. On the other hand, this is their way of coping for a lot of people, and your friend is probably used to people judging her for having a hidden disability - her employer hasn't got much say unless they want to breach the Equality Act 2010.

I've got a friend with fibromyalgia. She describes it as constant pain throughout her body which has drastically affected her mood and quality of life. She described it as three times worse than arthritis, but that cannot be true, unless she's got the pain tolerance of a Space Marine.

Of course an employer has a say. The Equality Act doesn't prevent them from dismissing a disabled employer if they can prove the disability prevents them from fulfilling the role, reasonable adjustments aren't enough or the is nothing alternative they can offer. An employer isn't obliged to pay an employee for life just because they are disabled and it would be unlawful to impose such a thing on a employer.

If they have an employer who is able to go out and drink but then can't work because of the over exercise of that, they should investigate and take action. The law will quite happily allow for that as long as the follow the correct procedures and act within the law.

[WiseMonkey]

Fibromyalgia and ME are both autoimmune conditions which have symptoms that tend to come and go in flares. In saying this some people have constant symptoms. Some people have an overlap of both Fibro and ME. ME is actually classified as a neuro-autoimmune conditions as it has a strong neurological component.

I have CFS/ME and have had it for nearly 30 years. I'm lucky because I've kept fit and tried to keep a positive attitude towards it. However It has caused me to have bad HA at times as many of the symptoms I've experienced have also been symptoms of more serous illnesses. Because of this I've had to have multiple tests to make sure, which had made me hyper vigilant.

I do have a low tolerance to alcohol.

Lesley

[mezzaninedoor]

I was concerned I was being mean.
Its good to develop more understanding of the condition.

[NoPoet]

Of course an employer has a say. The Equality Act doesn't prevent them from dismissing a disabled employer if they can prove the disability prevents them from fulfilling the role, reasonable adjustments aren't enough or the is nothing alternative they can offer.
This is a misinterpretation of what's been discussed.

Mazzaninedoor's words were It's really hard to understand it as the closest friend who has it often is out and about enjoying herself until 2/3am in the morning AND then can't work a job / can't get out of bed another weekend.

My response about the hurdles of getting pissed was (unintentionally) snarky, as I have known of people signed off on long-term sick for months or years that could not be dismissed or replaced by the employer, even though these people were *apparently* either pretending, or playing up their symptoms. (I do not mean to imply Mezzaninedoor's friend is doing this.)

Fibromyalgia, as I understand it, can "flare up" and become severely disabling. So can arthritis, or anxiety conditions, and so forth. But that doesn't happen all the time. The employee is not incapable of fulfilling their role most of the time.

The employer must abide by the Equality Act 2010, as well as other legislation depending on the employee's conditions, in order to make reasonable adjustments for the employee. An employer cannot sack anyone without good reason. Of course, any employee taking the piss could be subject to dismissal or disciplinary action, but any company attempting to do this to someone covered by the Equality Act 2010 has to tread very carefully.


An employer isn't obliged to pay an employee for life just because they are disabled and it would be unlawful to impose such a thing on a employer.
That's outside the scope of this thread, and rather beside the point in this case.


If they have an employer who is able to go out and drink but then can't work because of the over exercise of that, they should investigate and take action. The law will quite happily allow for that as long as the follow the correct procedures and act within the law.
In the case of Mezzaninedoor's friend, it seems his friend does work when they are able. His point was, his friend's health varies from one extreme to the other, so one week they are out enjoying themselves, the next week they are bed-ridden.

Fibromyalgia is a horrible condition which needs to kiss humanity's arse, and it's clear from this thread that the varying nature of such a condition causes confusion among those who don't understand it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

On the other hand, this is their way of coping for a lot of people, and your friend is probably used to people judging her for having a hidden disability - her employer hasn't got much say unless they want to breach the Equality Act 2010.


Of course an employer has a say. The Equality Act doesn't prevent them from dismissing a disabled employer if they can prove the disability prevents them from fulfilling the role, reasonable adjustments aren't enough or the is nothing alternative they can offer. An employer isn't obliged to pay an employee for life just because they are disabled and it would be unlawful to impose such a thing on a employer.

If they have an employer who is able to go out and drink but then can't work because of the over exercise of that, they should investigate and take action. The law will quite happily allow for that as long as the follow the correct procedures and act within the law.

I'm coming at it from the point of view that the alcohol causes some incapacitation. In which case it would be fair to talk to an employee about how to resolve that, namely don't do it. We can't expect employers to pay us sick pay or any other benefits when we don't take steps to prevent things. A flare up is fair enough but if the flair ups are "man made" and we can avoid then, whilst it's unlikely to get picked up for a while, long term the company can address it.

When I read Ton's post I found it vague in whether the alcohol actually can lead to it or not, hence I made my point. It's not out of scope at all, it's in scope from another angle than yours. Besides like you just explained, your point over alcohol use wasn't on topic yet I have no issue with that, I don't see the point in being ultra heavy on forum rules or we would never discuss much on here.

I notice WiseMonkey mentioned poor tolerance to alcohol. I think WiseMonkey gave us some valuable information about Fibro.

So, we are just coming at it from different angles.

I don't think we need to go down the implying ignorance route, Adam. Assumptions about posters are never a good idea.

[NoPoet]

How does alcohol cause a flare up of anything except depression and headaches? Fibromyalgia impairs a person as much as it wants to, when it wants to, and there is little or nothing anyone can do about it. It's a hidden disability which is underestimated and poorly understood. I suffer from three hidden disabilities myself, and I know what it feels like for colleagues and friends to judge. Hell, even the DWP are at it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm not sure, I hope someone with more knowledge on the subject answers that one so we know.

But alcohol causes flare ups of more than just depression and headaches. There are many anxiety sufferers who have learned that one. Given the many complicated mental health issues out there, I bet there will be others.

Hidden condition - yeah, that's everyone on here.

[NoPoet]

I'm not sure, I hope someone with more knowledge on the subject answers that one so we know.
I'm sure you'll find some dispute or other with their answer, but I agree.


Hidden condition - yeah, that's everyone on here.
While that's certainly true, it's rather blase and tactless in the context of this discussion.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hardly, we all know how difficult mental health issues are on here. The same for less apparent physical ones.

You are entitled to your opinion. There is no need for less respectful comments.