Vivid imagination

[JM9258]

It feels like i'm arguing with my mind, I keep having these intrusive thoughts which could be about anything which I have NO desire to act upon, but when this happens it feels real but I know it's not like having a vivid imagination it's like having my mind is trying to convince that anything I find unpleasent and/or repulsive just anything bad is trying to convince me it's pleasureable when I hate it, does anyone else get thoughts like these?

[theharvestmouse]

I get horrible thoughts, and I don't like them, they scare me, they are just thoughts and I tell myself that I don't mean them.

[missy_c]

And me. Sometimes they will be fairly mild, but sometimes they really bother me, like "someone in my family is going to die"/"what if I am a pedophile"/"what if I don;t love my husband anymore"/"what if I'm gay" etc. etc. Once one of these thoughts pop into my mind I will tend to fixate on it and it will bother me for ages. I know that none of the thoughts are true, but its the fact that they affect me so much that gets me down. I have been using this site for ages, and have only today stumbled on this, as I have never known that it was a symptom, I just thought that I thought too much and too negatively, but finding that there is a name for it and that other people have them makes me feel better. The best trick when I'm getting them and am feeling pretty rational is just to say "yeah, and what?" to myself "you know its just your crazy mind playing tricks, and it isn't true so no point in getting worried about it". That's when I'm being rational, but sometimes they can take over and its more difficult to dismiss them. I do think it is linked a bit to OCD and anxiety, although I have never thought of myself as having OCD, but I did used to do some OCD type things in phases when I was younger, like if I touched something with one hand I'd have to do it with the other to "even things out". I get things as well like (this will sound stupid) "if the lights change to red I'm going to have a horrible day/x y and z will happen" and can only have the volume in my car at an even number...now that I think about it, that's pretty OCD!!! My mental health seems to include depression, anxiety/panic and now I'm thinking that the intrusive thoughts and slightly OCD things (although those are the only ones I have, and I don;t have them all the time) are yet another load of mad things to add to my long list of mental anguish :( I'm on my fourth week of a lose dose of duloxetine though and things have got better.