I've had the worst day at work

[chappers1980]

So I started back at work this week. I had to take yesterday as a rest day. When I went to work this morning, had a meeting with my manager as I thought it was a good idea that we arrange a proper phased plan, so as I'd struggled this week, I sent her my suggestion.

Lets just say didn't go down very well. She said one week of shorter hours was enough, if i couldn't manage doing a half day every day for a week and then going back to full time then I'm no good to her. She said that when I applied for the job (over a year ago) I should have said I had anxiety issues (despite it being the first time i have been signed off with it). She then went onto say that me being off is causing pressure for other people. And that she didn't like that my illness was unpredictable!!!

So lets just say I feel like utter crap, have not stopped sobbing all morning, don't know whether to get signed off again or whether to just quit.

And to top it all off, just rang my mum for some support and she seemed to think that my boss was in the right! :weep:

[nicola1980]

Oh hun thats awfull :bighug1: and certainly something u don't need in ur recovery, i presume ur manager has never suffered anxiety b4?? so if u broke ur leg or something and couldn't go into work full time would she treat u the same??? this really gets to me.............this is an illness and if we could snap out of it then for gods sake don't people think we would?? and yes anxiety is unpredictable but isn't every illness??? please don't let this set u back and please don't quit, go and have a chat with ur doc, u prob need more time to recover hun :bighug1: xx

[london]

go to a lawer over this she has no right to say them things
dont worry over whats said
god bless

[Humly]

I think she's being totally unfair and obviously knows nothing about anxiety. No illness is predictable - you dont plan when you are going to be ill. she's talking out of her backside. What does she want you to do? Does she not realise that if you push yourself too far before you are ready you might end up being off for a much longer time. Is there anybody else at work who you can talk to, perhaps her supervisor as I am sure that she is not allowed to say these things.

[chappers1980]

The strange thing is that my anxiousness has turned into anger so its nice to feel something different.

I was quite shocked. I just feel so let down. My work mates have been great, they think she is out of order. Work have finally agreed to send me to an Occupational Health person after much begging, hopefully they will then put her straight. I tried to do 5 days this week and couldn't cope which is why i thought it made sense to be more realistic.

Thats a good idea though to get my GP to write them a letter.

I just find it staggering, ...i came away feeling so guilty...for it a while anyway until my Citalopram kicked in and I thought i don't give a shit about work, they will lose as its completely demotivated me.

So maybe i am getting better after all :roflmao:

[nicola1980]

Good 4 u hun :D x x

[william wallace]

Dont quit Chappers, especially as you have supportive workmates. You spend a lot more time with them than your boss. If your boss says anything nasty in front of them she'll likely get handbagged to unconsiousness:D

[nicola1980]

Dont quit Chappers, especially as you have supportive workmates. You spend a lot more time with them than your boss. If your boss says anything nasty in front of them she'll likely get handbagged to unconsiousness:D
LOL :roflmao: xx

[willigetwiser]

Chappers, first a question: who decided you should go back to work? If it was you and your doctor it may be too early. See your doctor and talk this through. Also, you are perhaps trying to just slot back in. This may be too much.
Not defending your boss but it may be that at the end of a week she is also feeling pressure and may have reacted rather than thought it through, so do nothing about quitting. In your present state you do not need to make any decision. You have also said before that you suffered extreme tiredness after work so after your first week back you are bound to feel low. Get some rest and a cup tea.
You will get support from people on this site and from close friends but sadly not all people will understand.
But definitely speak to your Doctor.
x

[chappers1980]

Chappers, first question is who decided you should go back to work? If it was you and your doctor it may be too early. See your doctor and talk this through. Also, you are perhaps trying to just slot back in. This may be too much.
Also, not defending your boss but it may be that at the end of a week she is also feeling pressure so do nothing about quitting until you are more settled allowing for the tiredness you have suffered after work which you mentioned before.
I think you will get support fro people on this site and from close friends but sadly not all people will understand.
But definitely speak to your Doctor.

Both me and my doctor decided it would be a good idea on the condition that i was phased in as I am still very symptomatic. I had thought i was doing well this week as I'd done 4 mornings and managed to crack through a lot of work. I've got a call booked with my GP on Monday, I'm going to ask them to write a letter confirming what I can and can't do, then i am covered. Then the Occupational Health peeps will probably back that up anyway. Whether they like it or not and if i delay it now and have more time off, I'm still going to need a phased return either way so can't understand their logic as surely its better to have someone for some of the time instead of no-one for all of the time. I just felt like she thought i was making it all up, if I had a broken leg, they wouldn't be acting this way.

Makes me so angry, its no wonder there is such a stigma towards mental illness and that people are so frightened to tell people or ask for help.

I'm not sure what I would do without this website. I feel like I can be myself without anyone judging me.

[Moggo]

Are you in a union?

Whatever you do, do not quit. That makes it easy for them.

Look after yourself. :hugs:

[josiejo]

I had time off work the first time I had anxiety problems. We are talking 8 years ago. My husband encouraged me to do little things like a trip out with the kids, he would play with them I would just sit and watch, things like that. One time I was persuaded to go to the supermarket, I really didn't feel well but he begged me to keep trying little trips out to break the cycle. Of course I went, felt awful but managed it only to be seen by a colleague who ran straight to my boss and told her she'd seen me out. I knew her sort but fortunately my boss knew me personally and knew what an effort it was to go out as at the time I was virtually house bound. You see some people will understand it and won't judge and other people don't have a clue what you're going through and don't want to even try to understand. After you recover you will be one of the many that understand and won't judge. It took me 3 months to get back to work and then it was only a few hours a week. After 6 months I felt well enough to return to normal and have been symptom free until recently so you see people do recover and maybe have the odd blip but always keep moving forward, baby steps. I might add that work became my salvation as keeping busy kept my mind focused. I don't know what my current blip is about but being on here talking about it certainly helps. If you give in they win....don't let them win

[chappers1980]

I've had my meeting with Occupational Health, they say I'm not quite fit enough to go back to work so I'm signed off for another 5 weeks. I know in my heart of hearts they are right but its been quite hard to accept. Work have now agreed to a phased return after christmas now they understand exactly what i've been through. I don't think they realised the severity of it but with the help of Occupational Health, they now know. I think i need to stop hiding how i am feeling and pretending to people that i am better than i am as its causing me more issues. My mum and dad have finally realised the severity as well and are listening a lot more now and i feel a lot more supported.

Thanks everyone for your support, its been a difficult week but i feel like I can move forward again now and concentrate on getting better. I have 5 weeks to look forward to of being a housewife. I bet my husband can't wait. I end up cooking a lot more so he can enjoy his tea on the table when he gets home now :0)

[Humly]

I pleased everything went well with Occ Health at work. Now that the pressure is off you can concentrate on getting yourself better and take your time with it. Take care and good luck. xx

[snowgoose]

Hi Chappers :)
feel for you ...........horrible time but you tried ........that needs a lot of courage so you sure are not lacking in that :hugs:

Glad Occupational Health are now involved ........you are so not alone in this .
My opinion is that time is needed for enough strength to go back . It is completely not helpful to you or your employer to go back to soon .
It took a long time to get to this state and equally time is needed to recover enough to work well and without tears every day .
You will know when ........

meanwhile get cooking those teas for hubby .......surfing new recipes ....out exercising despite weather .........eat well as you can ..........and keep talking .
hugs Snow x