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JBK
25-11-11, 14:06
Hello I am new as well.

I have recently had an epic awakening regarding anxiety. It is in the process of changing my life.

I had severe self consciousness as a child which after some traumatic experiences developed in to severe agoraphobia. I could not be around people I didn't know or be in a public place without completely shutting down. Then a few years later I had some health issues which ended up putting me in the hospital. After that and ever since (15yrs) I have been obsessed about my health. The smallest thing can set me off and I will obsess over it for days sometimes weeks. That being said I had been for some time fairly stable. I was able to internalize my dread and had no real outward affects besides insomnia which I have struggled with since I was a teenager, and fear speaking in front of peers. Over the last couple of years though I have been having these "episodes" out of the blue where I will feel detached or spacey just as people are talking about in this thread. Also I would feel drained and tired but could not sleep. I would obsess about why I felt this way which would give me even more anxiety and it just becomes a vicious circle. During these episodes I would experience almost every symptom of anxiety as described in these threads and different websites, including being Dizzy, feeling awkward, rapid heart rate, constantly checking my pulse, frequent urination, restlessness, and insomnia. Until just a few days ago I truly had not considered anxiety was the cause of any of it. I started reading online during an episode and I discovered that maybe I wasn't crazy after all. Funny thing is as soon as I started reading about it my symptoms receded. I have not this felt this kind of relief in a long time. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hope that I can maintain it though. Because as soon as I finish typing this I know my mind will go back to work convincing me that something really is wrong. But, reading and hearing other people’s stories with anxiety seems to be the way for me to quiet my mind. I plan on seeing professional help as well because I don’t think I can do it alone.

BTW. My mother has suffered from chronic anxiety and depression her whole life (should have given me a clue) and is now very unhealthy. I only wish she could have experienced the same awakening long ago.

diane07
25-11-11, 14:07
Hi JBK

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

sickandtired
25-11-11, 14:42
welcome JBK
Im new too,well joined 4 days ago....
I really think this horrible problem could be genetic...my grandmother had a breakdown,resulting in electric shock treatment,my mum had agrophobia,panic attacks,then a breakdown (a viscious husband didnt help) ,then there's me......PND twice,bouts of depression now panic attacks and anxiety.I do believe if you dont get help,then a breakdown is next on the list.We are so lucky these days that there has been alot of research into it and we are being offered therapy as well as useful meds.Im awaiting my first CBT appointment and Ive just started taking beta blockers.I refuse to succumb to this obsession with illness/death/disaster/& constant self conciousness....i want to be normal again!

JBK
25-11-11, 16:12
sickandtired

I feel the same way I have a family of my own and a succesful career. I refuse to let it effect my family. I have heard good things about CBT and plan on speaking with a specialist about it.

willigetwiser
25-11-11, 17:43
JBK, for myself and my family (over a number of generations) there is clear evidence of depression etc. which has resulted in alcohol abuse and all that entails.
The issue is, will everyone in the family suffer as previous generations have. Yes is the answer unless someone like you is brave enough to address the issue when still able to get help on terms which are agreeable to you.
Whether the cause of the problems are to do with direct genealogy or as a result of exposure to the behaviours of parents is unclear but you are wise to look for help, professional help which may include medication - I mention medication because until recently I have refused or discontinued medication because of side effects which I can now see was a mistake.
From this site you will get insight and support.
I am now taking citalopram and I have to say that without the support of people on this site I might well have stopped taking.
Like you, I am starting to benefit from "talking" on this site.