HELP!! Unreal..Anxious :(

[rapidhopeloss]

I'm going to attempt to describe what I am going through...this is going to be hard to put into words!

Right basically I have been feeling as If i am not real, My mind is thinking none stop about everything, every little movement I make, EVERY time i talk It feels like I am not talking. My family feel alien to me at times, I feel lost and alone. I have a ball of anxiety in my tummy at all times. ALL i want to do is sleep. I look in the mirror and get anxious,feel sick and panicky as if when I look in the mirror it's not me..if that makes sense, i cant explain it!

Any little movement i make, I am thinking about it..and wondering if it's real. I get urges to scream at random times, just because..well, I'm not real so why does it matter? why does anything i do matter,when nothing is real! It's like obsessive thinking about everything,about myself,life..How there can be a soul inside a body :\..Wondering who i am,if I'm real.. even writing this is making me anxious and feel sick :( I am so terrified. I am on meds,and my doctor has put them up a bit, which seemed to make things a little better but.. not that much at all.

Urgh..yeah I am terrible at explaining this. but I am too scared to do anything,I just want to sit and fade away....

Make any sense to anyone?!!?!

[Carys]

Yes, it will be understood by many many people here ! You are describing depersonalisation, which is described in the menu on the left (somewhere in symptoms :winks:) You are feeling that you are not connected to your body, things are unreal and every movement is not you doing it, but you are desperately searching for 'feeling normal' analysing and over analysing . The more frightened of it you are of it, the more unreal things will seem, and so the spiral goes on. You are experiencing quite a common anxiety feeling, you are not going mad. I have had it where my arms or legs don't feel and look like mine, and I have to think about how to 'make them work'. In the past I often used to say 'I feel like I'm not here........' 'I feel like my body isn't mine......'

Please, please start reminding yourself that what you are feeling is nothing more than a symptom of your state of mind, albeit a very terrifying one. It will go when you are relaxed enough and your mind starts focusing on external things.

[rapidhopeloss]

Ahh see, I have read up ALOT on depersonalisation, Have been for weeks now, But not everything I feel is described and.. Surely that's not it? i don't know.I Doubt its that, I doubt its anxiety, I doubt its depressing. I just think it is me going mental... It is horrible! I have had a few feelings about whats the point in living? when I feel like a prisoner and don't enjoy doing anything anymore.. Obviously I would NEVER do anything suicidal, but the thoughts are still there.

[PanchoGoz]

Depersonalization/derealisation, it covers a huge range of feelings, its a vague old thing. It never fully describes how you feel as the feeling is most uneffable. Understand that only otsiders can identify you with this, and you definately have it.
You need to keep distracted in order for it to go. Its a dwelling loop, dwelling on yourself is like putting up a microphone to a speaker, and you get all sorts of horrible thoughts like being trapped in your body, feeling unreal, existential anxiety...

[nicola1980]

Hi your NOT going mental i promise u, ive had all the feelings youve described even the feelings of whats the point in living, ive said many of times that i can't fight this anymore but WE can and we will, have u spoke to your doctor about how ur feeling? xx

[mabel]

Definitely Depersonalization/derealisation.

You are not going mad! Because you recognise your problems.

I suffer from this on and off and its horrible! But read up on here and keep distracting your self. And lots of self talk. Keep telling yourself its anxiety and nothing bad is going to happen. Just do things a bit slower for the moment (that helps me!) Walk a bit slower and don't go rushing around! I spend the whole day when I'm really bad saying 'its anxiety, nothing bad is going to happen' then I tell it to .......off!

The more you go through the more your mind will know there is nothing to be scared of and you are perfectly normal! Takes a while but it works!

Mabel xxxx

[richardbrown]

I have had similar feelings for years, I felt I was the only one until I started reading this forum. I have had these weird experiences for so long now I am almost used to them.

Be strong.

Rich

[rapidhopeloss]

Thank you so much for all your replies.. I wasn't expecting any if I am honest!!

I would kind of love to think that the reason I feel this way is down to anxiety, but... My mind won't let me. And it just tells me i am this way because I AM going crazy..

I have felt like this for a while now.. I had a bad bad relationship break down..for the first week or so of it ending I was fine,and then BOOM... I wake up one morning and just feel this way! I have had similar feelings before, but nothing this bad nor for this long. It's a living hell! But yes, thank you so much for all the replies, I am grateful that people can relate to this :( X

[Rhys1879SAFC]

Man oh man, where to begin with depersonalization?

I've been a sufferer for 10 months, in order to get rid of this strange (but very common) symptom of anxiety, you have to change your negative thought pattern. Challenge the negative thoughts and I promise you will see a big difference faster than you think, it can be very scary but just know that it is temporary.

Rhys x