JBK
26-11-11, 08:34
I have recently discovered that all these weird things going on with me were actually anxiety. Reading over some of the posts I realized that I may have OCD as well. I am a classic black and white thinker which, although not an ideal trait, has benefited me in my field of work (Aviation). I have obsessive thoughts regarding my health that I cannot shake that in turn I believe cause my anxiety. I also have obsessions about the neatness/cleanliness of my home which in hindsight seemed to start about the same time as my anxiety. I am extremely fidgety and I constant twirl or spin the remote control while watching TV, or pens when I'm at my desk. Also, I find it very difficult to stand still while in a conversation. I have mild obsessions with the wording and “tone” of emails or other things that I write which has actually had a positive effect on my career.
Interestingly enough my father is also a "neat freak" and is obsessive about money, punctuality (another trait I inherited) and is generally ritualistic. He gets agitated when anything is out of the norm and therefore is very close minded and does not tolerate differing personalities. Also, he has a weird compulsion to rub his own or other people’s ears.
My mother suffers from chronic depression, anxiety, and alcoholism. I believe the only reason I am not an alcoholic myself is because I have health anxiety. Ironic I know.
I didn't know my Grandfather very well but I do remember he had a wooden armchair that had 1/2 in deep grooves cut into the armrests from compulsively rubbing his fingers on them.
It's kind of comforting to realize that this anxiety and obsessive behavior may have genetic component and therefore possibly a chemical/behavioral treatment. Realizing all these facts over the last weeks has definitely relieved that helpless/alone feeling and I think going forward will help me stop compulsively evaluating everything and in turn possibly be a tool in fixing the root problem which for me seems to be hyper internalizing and obsessing.
Interestingly enough my father is also a "neat freak" and is obsessive about money, punctuality (another trait I inherited) and is generally ritualistic. He gets agitated when anything is out of the norm and therefore is very close minded and does not tolerate differing personalities. Also, he has a weird compulsion to rub his own or other people’s ears.
My mother suffers from chronic depression, anxiety, and alcoholism. I believe the only reason I am not an alcoholic myself is because I have health anxiety. Ironic I know.
I didn't know my Grandfather very well but I do remember he had a wooden armchair that had 1/2 in deep grooves cut into the armrests from compulsively rubbing his fingers on them.
It's kind of comforting to realize that this anxiety and obsessive behavior may have genetic component and therefore possibly a chemical/behavioral treatment. Realizing all these facts over the last weeks has definitely relieved that helpless/alone feeling and I think going forward will help me stop compulsively evaluating everything and in turn possibly be a tool in fixing the root problem which for me seems to be hyper internalizing and obsessing.