MsBelle
26-11-11, 21:11
Well, I don't know which forum to post in as I tick most of the boxes :ohmy:
I wouldn't admit this to many people, but I have had crushing depression, insomnia, anxiety and panic attacks for decades (my first panic attack I remember well, I was only around 9 years old..psychologists tend to be rather surprised when I say that). Agoraphobia still hovers over me like a ghost; I was literally prisoner in my own home for part of my 20s.
Somehow, I've managed to feed, clothe and make a home for myself but sometimes have meltdowns where I need others to intervene and buy me food (but that doesn't happen so much now there are online supermarkets, thank God for the internet).
I am an absolute expert at avoidance behaviour, re panic attacks. I have days where I'm very wound up or self-conscious and can't figure out why..still I manage to wobble through life.
As you can imagine, my personal relationships have been nearly nil. I have friends but have less of a social life than I did in my early 20s, before I gave up my job when the black clouds stole me away for years and I had my first breakdown.
Anyway, this ramble is to say Thank You for existing and Thank You for the advice and support within.
I just got my "nil points" Work Capability Assessment letter for ESA which made me burst into tears. Much like the last medical I went to, some questions I said "Yes" to are marked "No" and vice versa*. You read the stories about ATOS putting out lies and think it's overblown hysterical nonsense; believe me, it is true.
Again, thought I'd say Hello and I'll read through as many threads as I can.
*Is it maybe that they don't believe you? I wonder..
I wouldn't admit this to many people, but I have had crushing depression, insomnia, anxiety and panic attacks for decades (my first panic attack I remember well, I was only around 9 years old..psychologists tend to be rather surprised when I say that). Agoraphobia still hovers over me like a ghost; I was literally prisoner in my own home for part of my 20s.
Somehow, I've managed to feed, clothe and make a home for myself but sometimes have meltdowns where I need others to intervene and buy me food (but that doesn't happen so much now there are online supermarkets, thank God for the internet).
I am an absolute expert at avoidance behaviour, re panic attacks. I have days where I'm very wound up or self-conscious and can't figure out why..still I manage to wobble through life.
As you can imagine, my personal relationships have been nearly nil. I have friends but have less of a social life than I did in my early 20s, before I gave up my job when the black clouds stole me away for years and I had my first breakdown.
Anyway, this ramble is to say Thank You for existing and Thank You for the advice and support within.
I just got my "nil points" Work Capability Assessment letter for ESA which made me burst into tears. Much like the last medical I went to, some questions I said "Yes" to are marked "No" and vice versa*. You read the stories about ATOS putting out lies and think it's overblown hysterical nonsense; believe me, it is true.
Again, thought I'd say Hello and I'll read through as many threads as I can.
*Is it maybe that they don't believe you? I wonder..