So fed up and sad

[fluff]

As some of you know im going through a seperation and unfortunatly still waiting to be rehomed by the council as he wont leave.My problem is he keeps being really nasty saying im not thinking of our 7 month old baby and should stay with him but i really dont want to as he destroys me of who i am, the reason im leaveing is because he thought it was ok to see a different woman behind my back when are boy was 4 months old then lied about it i only found out by ringing this number on his phone.I know no ones perfect and we all make mistakes but i cant forgive him as he lied to me about things in the past and i really hate lies:mad:.
Im just really sad that him saying im not thinking of my son my son wont hate me for it when hes older will he?:weep: this is all starting to put me into depression.Any mummys would you leave or what please any advice.........

[Carys]

Yes, I would lmost likely leave him. (saying that it depends how desperately sorry he is, if there is a pattern of this type of behaviour, how reliable he is generally, how supportive he is of you etc.)

What thought did he give to your son (let alone you) when he had the affair ? He is using emotional blackmail to make you stay and that is fairly shabby. Once you are on your own, then he can set about proving again that he deserves to be your partner. He can still be a father to your baby and have full access when you are somewhere else.

[fluff]

Thankyou x
Yeah i told he he can have as much access as he wants to have like weekends and the odd days he gets off work.I dont think i realised how much anxiety he caused me in my life i was with him since i was 16 so along time ive put up with things, then when he messed up before he said we get married so i felt secure, but i dont think i ever did he got really angry me being on here last night when little one was in bed. Thankyou again:hugs:

[bluesparkle]

hi
your son WILL NOT hate you, i can promise you that hun.
i had to leave their dad (i have four kids who were pretty young at the time).and then after a while i met someone else and that was not a good relationship either so i was on my own again.
kids are VERY resiliant..
he is just trying to make you feel guilty and you have nothing to feel guilty about.
i dont want to go into the ins and outs here but if you need a chat please feel free to pm me.
take care and put yourself first.
rach
x

[fluff]

Thankyou i chat to you later as he be back soon with my boy and he be cross if im on here x

[nicola1980]

hi reading ur thread reminds me of me 11 yrs when i was 20 and had just had my son, my childs father treated me awful, he cheated on me on numerous occasions but i stayed for the sake of my son which infact was the worse thing i did, i eventually left when my son was nearly 3 but by that time my son had already witnessed our numerous rows sometimes he was even violent to me infront of him, even now my son still remembers the day his dad put his fist thro the kitchen window :weep:, u will get thro this yeah it will be hard but please don't stay for ur childs sake as they suffer too, good luck :bighug1: xx

[snowgoose]

Hi Fluff

your son will never hate you ........you are his mum :hugs:
cant advise .......but feeling for you a lot .....so sending a hug :bighug1:
stay strong as you can and trust your instinct . brave lass . xx

[Mindful]

As some of you know im going through a seperation and unfortunatly still waiting to be rehomed by the council as he wont leave.My problem is he keeps being really nasty saying im not thinking of our 7 month old baby and should stay with him but i really dont want to as he destroys me of who i am, the reason im leaveing is because he thought it was ok to see a different woman behind my back when are boy was 4 months old then lied about it i only found out by ringing this number on his phone.I know no ones perfect and we all make mistakes but i cant forgive him as he lied to me about things in the past and i really hate lies:mad:.
Im just really sad that him saying im not thinking of my son my son wont hate me for it when hes older will he?:weep: this is all starting to put me into depression.Any mummys would you leave or what please any advice.........
I'd say you are very much thinking of your son. Remember this whenever you have doubts '' Its better to be from a broken home, than to live in one'' Its very true too. :hugs:

[kwarly]

you ARE thinking of your son, more than you realise. I have no children of my own but my anxiety disorder started in my childhood, i was so insecure as my parents always argued, so much upset, talking of divorce a thousand times, horrible atmosphere and i never trusted my dad. if you are unhappy the best thing you can do for you and your son is to start afresh somewhere else with someone else. good luck, you'll do great xx

[graham58]

As some of you know im going through a seperation and unfortunatly still waiting to be rehomed by the council as he wont leave.My problem is he keeps being really nasty saying im not thinking of our 7 month old baby and should stay with him but i really dont want to as he destroys me of who i am, the reason im leaveing is because he thought it was ok to see a different woman behind my back when are boy was 4 months old then lied about it i only found out by ringing this number on his phone.I know no ones perfect and we all make mistakes but i cant forgive him as he lied to me about things in the past and i really hate lies:mad:.
Im just really sad that him saying im not thinking of my son my son wont hate me for it when hes older will he?:weep: this is all starting to put me into depression.Any mummys would you leave or what please any advice.........

Hi,

I don't want to try and tell you what you should do here but you might want to know what happened in my case.

My parents separated when I was 11. It was a sad and hard time for while, for all of us, but I think it worked out in the end as my Mum and Dad eventually both found partners they were much more compatible with. So, don't think it's the end of the world if you have to split the family up for whatever reason.

Graham .

P.S. I don't know what others thought when they read your post but this was a BIG red flag for me when I saw it - "he destroys me of who i am" - that really isn't what's supposed to happen in a relationship..

[fluff]

Thankyou graham its all a differcult time for me at the moment