Hello everyone.

[Anxiousmess]

Hi all, some of you might not want to waste ur time reading this but i jus need some advice and i need to ramble and get all this out..
Im really struggling at the moment, with everything.. no matter wat i do its constantly bothering me.. the only time i got a rest was when i was sleeping.. but now even then im struggling..
I'm a married woman, that part of my life is good, i love my husband to bits.. hes very understanding and loves me no matter wat..
Im 23 yrs of age.
At the moment i am finding that i dream all night every night nd every like half hour of my sleep i am waking, twisting n turning and extremely dizzy when waking, i have such vivid strange and exhausting dreams and often wake in a state due to dreams.. i dont understand why i am waking all the time twisting n turning.. not only is this happening i am just so very exhausted and anxious all day every day, i constantly feel like i can't breathe, its like a restricted feeling like im breathin through a straw or worse its like my air ways get so small i can barely breathe.. and ocasionally i get these funny sensations in my throat and i jus cant seem to take a breathe in until i cough then im left in a huge panic as anyone would if they felt they couldnt breathe in..
Ive been to the doctors ive had tests everything came back clear, wen i am at my worst with my breathing my husband will listen to my chest and he always says hun i can hear the oxygen getting right down to the bottom of ur lungs.. u r honestly breathing just fine.. so if everything is good why do i feel it gets so bad, why do i get dizzy when this happens, even a tickle in my throat panics me as it gets so bad i feel like i cant breathe then too.. i cant get away from all this.. i just want to move on and be normal and live a good life.. i want to be a mother some day, but i jus keep thinking i must b dying from something awful to feel this bad???!!
Some nights im afaid to sleep, incase i die and never got to say goodbye to loved ones, im basically petrified all the time that something awful will happen to me.. i have this fear, one being dying but another fear i have that is ruining my life is thinking if i do anything i will suddenly gasp for oxygen i imagine is awful scene of me outwardly gasping for breathe and passing out on the floor i cant go to town cause im so afraid of unexpected loud noises, even a car horn scares the hell out of me.. im so afraid i dont want to die, i want a long n healthy life but this wont go away... i feel like im suffocating nd stuck in a very deep dark hole, i can see the top but i cant reach it.. right now i feel like something is stuck in my throat and i cant breathe, i have this tickle that gets so bad i have to cough like crazy before i can breathe.. i jus wish there was a magic pill outthere to make all this go away..

Now ill tell u abit about whats going on with me right now :
My step dad died 3 yrs ago down to stomach cancer, i recently met up with my real dad again after 19 years, who has recently moved in next door, he told me he was no longer an alcoholic, he so is, he drinks 20-30 cups of tea and coffee during the day then in hes words "opens up the bar" at 3-4 in the afternoon, and drinks 12 cans of lager every single night, my brother has just recently "come out" and my dad isnt accepting him, he made me take away my brothers bed from hes house and told me my brother was a leppa and shud b on a island somewhere.
My brother is very upset and my dad said he will accept my brother only if my brother accepts hes rules.. which are to never walk around hand in hand with a boyfriend etc.. so basically hes telling my 21 yr old brother what he can and cannot do.. or he will disown him.. my mum is dating a using, drinking, drug taking idiot who cheats on her and leaves her then takes her bk and wont go away and he upsets my mum, but she wont leave him because she "loves him"

I can't take all this anymore, i feel like im suffocating and i just want it to all go away.. im not sitting in tears, something i do alot.. i need help :'(

For all who actually spend their time reading this, thank u so much and please message back i know u cant do anything but i need ur kind words and advice, please.... Thank u so much :) xxxx P.s i love u all xxxxxxxxx

[Moggo]

I'm not sure what to say, so :hugs:

[swgrl09]

Hi, it seems like you really are going through a lot. I suffer from health anxiety spurred on even worse by my mom dying of cancer this year, so I understand how traumatizing that can be. I'm 23 yrs old as well. I too have a lot of family issues (different, but family issues suck) and understand how stressful families can be and add to your current problems.

I guess I don't have much advice, except make sure you take time for yourself in all of this. You cannot solve everybody else's problems, even if you feel you need to. That is something that I have come to try to accept. Take care of yourself! I have slacked on that this year and as a result have been constantly run down and coming down with colds, not sleeping well, having awful dreams, etc. Find something you love and make sure you take the time to do it for yourself.

I hope everything gets a little easier soon.

[Anxiousmess]

Thank you moggo, i know reading that back i dont really know what anyone could say.. my head is very messed up

---------- Post added at 18:22 ---------- Previous post was at 18:20 ----------

thank you swgrl.. means so much, im so sorry to hear about your mum.. im sure she is looking down on you though and really proud of you.. and its lovely to meet you chick, i hope u feel better soon too xx

[Moggo]

Swgrl09 has a much better way with words than me. Look after yourself :hugs:

[Rugrat]

Anxiousmess
swgrl0p is right you can worry about your family until the cows
come home but it will not help anyone you have to think about yourself
and your husband and let the other members of you family get on with it
and look after themselves

[Anxiousmess]

It's ok moggo, its nice to know there is people out there who care and understand me.. and rugrat thank u for ur message i do know deep down i must take care of myself and leave them to it, but my whole family live all very close to one another, its hard not to tke notice when all i get is fonecalls complaining and them knockin wit the latest news.. im expected to jus b there to listen and i cant do it anymore, i love them to bits but i feel like they r stampin me right down to where i start everytime i have a better couple of hours.. hopefully things will get sorted out soon, or al think about moving, lol.. take care all u fellow nomorepanicers.. I wish good luck and happiness ur way :-D xxxx