Confused

[Tommyyy]

Hi everyone,

So I'm on my 6th week of Citalopram for generalised anxiety. I'm 18, started uni in September. I've suffered with IBS for many years but my anxiety presents itself differently now. I do enjoy university and I have really good friends who are supportive but they don't understanding why I skip nights out and miss lectures when they see me 'fine' hours before.

In the last two weeks I've started getting panic attacks - I don't need to tell you what these feel like. My insomnia has worsened dramatically and I'm in constant fear of the next panic attack. I was back at the doctors on Monday after having the scariest panic attack of all. I hallucinated about someone outside my door trying to get in. They broke into my room and were heading towards me trying to kill me. I was certain this person was going to kill me. I pulled the covers towards me and shouted at them but I couldn't breath and my heart was pounding. I held the covers over my head whilst these pulsing sounds were screaming in my head. A short time passed and I looked back at my door - it wasn't even there. I could see my door on the other side of the room, it had a strip of light around it from the corridor. I cannot believe I made the whole situation in my head.

I explained the last two weeks to my doctor and she has given me a short course of Diazepam to take. Today I feel so strange, so confused, I'm scared of my own mind. When I was walking back home from the doctors, I crossed the road thinking there were no cars coming. I reached halfway and a car stopped right next to me - it wasn't there when I looked!!

I have to go back to the doctors tomorrow and discuss visiting the community mental health team.

Can any tell me their experiences of Cit + Diazepam?

Tom :flowers:

---------- Post added at 18:32 ---------- Previous post was at 18:30 ----------

I have been led down since half 2 and I can't even remember where the last 3-4 hours have gone.

[Gembutt]

Hiya Tom,

Sorry to hear about your experience! I'm going through the same with university as well. I started in September and keep skipping certain lectures.. I'm forever sat there wondering how I can escape if I feel panicky and how I can get home because the buses aren't very regular. It's a silly cycle but I'm just putting up with it at the moment until I start the medication next week.

I was prescribed Citalopram and Diazepam at the age of 16 and felt I was too young to go on the Citalopram. I did however try the Diazepam when I was at my worst and I felt they worked wonders.. I did feel a little bit hazy and sleepy but that was it. I started just taking half of one if I felt bad and that worked then I stopped taking them and carried one with me just as a safety thing.. I knew then if I ever felt really bad I could take a Diazepam (which I never did after that)..
But from what I have read on here it gets worse before it gets better but it's worth sticking them out so good luck :) xxx

[Tommyyy]

Thanks for replying Gemma,

Do you ever find people judge you if you try to explain? I told my flat mates how scared I was the other night and they keep making jokes about me having panic attacks. :(:(

What medication are you starting next week?

x



Hiya Tom,

Sorry to hear about your experience! I'm going through the same with university as well. I started in September and keep skipping certain lectures.. I'm forever sat there wondering how I can escape if I feel panicky and how I can get home because the buses aren't very regular. It's a silly cycle but I'm just putting up with it at the moment until I start the medication next week.

I was prescribed Citalopram and Diazepam at the age of 16 and felt I was too young to go on the Citalopram. I did however try the Diazepam when I was at my worst and I felt they worked wonders.. I did feel a little bit hazy and sleepy but that was it. I started just taking half of one if I felt bad and that worked then I stopped taking them and carried one with me just as a safety thing.. I knew then if I ever felt really bad I could take a Diazepam (which I never did after that)..
But from what I have read on here it gets worse before it gets better but it's worth sticking them out so good luck :) xxx

[Gembutt]

I haven't told anybody at university because I was scared they would laugh.. Nobody understands how terrible they are until they've been through them..
Oh so do you live in at university? You're much braver than me then! I wanted to live in but only feel safe from panic attacks here at home :(

It's really awful that they're making jokes about your panic attacks, they should be more supportive they're not easy to put up with.

I was prescribed sertraline a few weeks ago but I had never heard of them so was too scared to start them. I am going the doctors next Tuesday and I am going to ask whether citalopram or sertraline would be better :) xx

[Tommyyy]

Yeah I live in halls. It's just as stressful back home so I prefer it here. I wish you could live in halls or look for a house-share next year because catching the bus everyday must be a cause of stress as well!

I've never heard of setraline before whereas citalopram seems to be very common.

I can't sleep tonight and have to be up in 4 1/2 hours :((

Tell me how tomorrow goes x

[kittikat]

Hi Tommy, sorry to hear your ordeal. I too have suffered anxiety and panic attacks over the past few years and was prescribed diazepam which really helps me. I recovered to somewhat 'normal' and always had the diaz in my bag just in case. I have tried other meds including citalporam which made my anxiety/panic even worse- I couldn't deal with it so stopped taking it. I am on my 4th week off work now and doc has just increased my diaz dose to 12mg a day. This is day 2 and I am feeling much more confident now. Hope you find a happy balance and trust me, things will improve although it's a bit of a vicious circle and you will have ups and downs along the way. I wish you all the best :)

[Gembutt]

Hiya Tommy, oh that's no good then! I'm not too bad because my mum is really helpful back home but in a way I use her as a crutch and rely on her a bit too much. I did start looking for a house but even looking made me really anxious :(
I will definitely try at some point though. I just need to find some friends who understand and that are supportive!

I never sleep on a Tuesday night because I know I have to be up at 6am so I got in from university at 3 and fell asleep! How was your day? I handed in a big assignment today so it feels like a weight off my shoulders! I'm eager to get into the doctors and start the medication but I'm a little bit scared. My mum and sister are on citalopram and never had any side effects so I am hoping the same happens for me :) xx

[Tommyyy]

Thanks Kittikat! My doctor said that Diaz is only for short-term relief of anxiety which probably means I will be off them in 1/2 weeks :(. Is there any kind of anti-anxiety medication that can help insomnia and be used over a long period of time? I hope you can get yourself back into work soon :)

---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:37 ----------

If only you were in Bangor Gemma!! It's so great that your mum is so supportive for you :)

I got some really good results back from my assignment today so I've been lifted a bit too :). Lots of assignments due in next week though and I've had to apologise to three lecturers for missing my lectures :/. I had a horrible couple of days when I first started on Citalopram but it feels like a completely different drug now. Don't get worked up over side effects because it just get you down unnecessarily xx

[Gembutt]

Yeah I suppose so, I just want to get started on them now asap! Because I can't deal with being like this much longer. I'm really panicking about tomorrow though because I am in all day Thursday and get worked up about it. I had a bad day on a Thursday a few weeks back and can't seem to forget it "/

Well done on your assignment! I have some exams coming up soon so I really need to revise! xx

[Tommyyy]

How did your full day go?

I have a half-day field trip tomorrow :( I'm so scared about being away for those few hours...

I had anxiety attacks this morning - heart pounding, struggle to breath. It was no where near as intense as a normal panic attack but it kept coming in waves. I've been convinced I was going to have a panic attack today. xx

[Gembutt]

I chickened out of the full day but I forced myself to go in for the seminar, and I really enjoyed it so I am kicking myself about it now! Got a doctors appointment tomorrow so a bit anxious to start on the meds but hopefully it's worth it!

I'm sure you'll be fine! Just enjoy it :) Keep chatting to people and it should take your mind off things! Where is it you're going to?

They're awful aren't they? I just let it run it's course if I am on my own and it seems to go away, I tend to think okay lets get this over and done with and then the panic goes away xx

[Tommyyy]

I chickened out of my field trip. Hating myself for it now.

How did your appointment go? Waiting to see the doctors is when my anxiety is through the roof. x

[Gembutt]

Well no point dwelling over it, things will get better and use it for next time... When another trip comes up remember how disappointed you were that you didn't go!

My appointment went really well actually, my doctor was so helpful and he made me feel a lot better about starting the sertraline, he said I will feel sick for the first 7-10 days but I should feel better after that so I'm getting my prescription tomorrow and I am giving it a go :)
What medication did you say you're on Tommy? x

[Tommyyy]

The trip was about 10% of my module :(

I'm on Citalopram and Diazepam x