Just when things were going well...

[Violet1]

Well things have been great the last few weeks, really enjoying life with no worries. Until yesterday my 22 month old baby boy started nursery. When I picked him up they said he looked different to other little boys down below, more chubby and testicles hadn't dropped. So me being me panicked big time, googling, reading up on awful things like he may not have any testicles etc. went tothe doctors who told me to come back a week later and see my doctor, so I called up crying and got an appointment last night with my doctor. He could feel two testicles, one in the right place and one too high. So we are being referred. Felt really good afterwards, obviously he might have to have a op which I will dread but came out happier when I went in. Since then I'm panicking. I have always noticed that he never has erections, my other boys did now and again as a baby. I forgot to ask the doctor about this, so now I'm thinking something is wrong with him :-( I also feel terrible that I never noticed this, he's my baby, he looks normal to me. The doctor said the chubby bit above his willy is fine and normal, but the nursery really scared me saying they change a lot of nappies and haven't seen that before. I feel terrible, really stressed, panicked and generally a crap mummy :-( these health anxieties are unbearable, I can't live like this. Im worried sick about it all. Got my first CBT this morning, but don't see how it's gonna help me.

[Janeeey]

I had to just respond as I know how awful it is to worry about your child. Whilst the nursery were perhaps being helpful, don't focus on them 'never seeing this before' too much - your Dr was not overly concerned and he is the expert. It is good you are being referred and they will be able to resolve anything that is an issue. I know my husband had a problem when he was a baby (not sure what) but he had an op and of course he is fine and anothere friend had an issue but didn't seek help for many years - all ok now, but dealing with it as a baby will mean he will never know and won't have problems later on.

I totally understand where you are coming from, I suffer from HA and it originally started with a fear of my son being ill when he was very young. you are a fantastic mum and I can tell that because you obviously care, went straight to the GP and are going to get the help your son needs.

I have been doing CBT for a couple of months now, can take a bit of time but I have noticed huge differences to where I was a year ago so stick with it.

Sorry if this hasn't helped much - but wanted to reassure you from one mum to another that you are doing just fine :) xx

[ronski]

Violet you must calm that mind down, reading your post it sounds as though the nurserys comments sparked of some critism regarding you being a good mum. That would never have been the case, they were just concerned.
Next time look at the issues as an observer, take a deep breath and think are they just looking after my child's health. Now that is good and a responsible reaction to an observation.
Also never never consult Dr Google, it's the road to anxiety because you do not have the objectivity that your Dr will have.

[macc noodle]

Hey Violet

He will be absolutely fine - let the specialist look at him and he will recommend the appropriate action - the worst case scenario is a small operation to bring them down. Equally, some times they descend by themselves. Just be guided by the professionals.

Go for the CBT but be prepared for the long haul - this is no quick fix but well worth the hard work and persistence that it requires. I have been having therapy weekly since May and cannot tell you what a huge difference it has made to my life - yes I still have tough days but I can cope with them far better and there a lot more good days than there were before :D

Macc Noodle
xx