HIV - again

[constantworrier418]

Hi

After having a brief sexual relationship just over 3 months ago in which condoms were always used I'm finding myself panicking over the risk of HIV. I know I was "safe" but the element of what if us creeping in and whether it was transmitting during kissing or other contact. My worry us being heightened by the fact that I had a chesty cold 2 wks ago and now I've another cold ( however my daughter has it too at moment and did 2 wks ago iygwim?) so should I worry?

The bloke involved did actually volunteer to get checked and he said all was ok but I'm doubting whether he did get tested at all? Any help would be greatly received as I'm freaking out as per usual :(

[**Amy**]

Hiya

It sounds to me like you're fine. ;)

I understand your health worries - my hang-up is always my heart - but the fact is, you always used protection so the likelihood of you contracting HIV is very, very, very small. Condoms are the best way to protect us from STI's - other than being a nun! ;)

I'm sure you're fine - me and my kids constantly take it in turns to get cold this time of year!

Take care x

[Jack1231]

Are you a male or female, was your partner male or female, and did you have anal sex or vaginal sex?

If it was vaginal sex with a condom the chance of you getting HIV would be extraordinarily small. Kissing etc carries no risk.

That's all assuming your partner has HIV in the first place

[Polaris]

HIV is actually extremely hard to catch from what I've read. Once you add a condom into the mix, the risk becomes negligable. Risk from kissing is minute you'd both have to have big open bleeding cuts or something in your mouth. And he'd have to have HIV.

Even if he had HIV and the condom broke etc., its still unlikely that the disease would be transmitted. I can't remember what the figures were like, but its quite small.

I'm sure you're fine :)

[Jack1231]

Wikipedia says:

HIV transmission from an infected source:

Male to Female, vaginal (unprotected): 0.08% chance
Female to Male, as before: 0.04% chance

That's pretty low. When you put a condom on, you've got more chance of winning the lottery.

Anal sex carries a risk of 1.5-5% per act however.

---------- Post added at 19:27 ---------- Previous post was at 19:26 ----------

Sorry it's the other way round, female's are more likely to be infected

[Scottish_lad100]

constant worrier i'm 99.9% you dont have anything! and would eat my own hate if you did. However for your mental well-being and general peace of mind go to a gum clinic so you can get a negative test :)

[Wolfie]

As for HIV transmission via kissing - it would actually take a bath tub full of that persons saliva consumed at once for you to have at the very most, a very very low risk.

If you are really worried about having HIV, go for a test to put your mind at ease. As for the cold symptoms, etc, remember, that's just your health anxiety talking - it's winter and the cold virus is making its way through everyone at the moment, so no worries.

[constantworrier418]

I'm really really struggling - I've been trying to get to my local gum clinic to get checked but haven't been able to due to childcare issues and work. I can't understand why I'm letting this consume me - I used protection at all times but my ha is saying "what if the condom broke and he didn't tell me" or "what if the bottom end if his penis which the condom didn't quite cover had bodily fluid with HIV in it and it entered me through a lesion" I really thought I was over this issue but I feel like it's as bad as it ever was. I'm also regretting ever meeting this bloke and sleeping with him as it didn't transpire into a relationship and for me I'm a little ashamed that a sexual relationship took place with the trust and love that I'd normally hope to have before sex comes into it. Hope someone can help I'm really struggling today :( :weep:

[hannah825]

I'm really really struggling - I've been trying to get to my local gum clinic to get checked but haven't been able to due to childcare issues and work. I can't understand why I'm letting this consume me - I used protection at all times but my ha is saying "what if the condom broke and he didn't tell me" or "what if the bottom end if his penis which the condom didn't quite cover had bodily fluid with HIV in it and it entered me through a lesion" I really thought I was over this issue but I feel like it's as bad as it ever was. I'm also regretting ever meeting this bloke and sleeping with him as it didn't transpire into a relationship and for me I'm a little ashamed that a sexual relationship took place with the trust and love that I'd normally hope to have before sex comes into it. Hope someone can help I'm really struggling today :( :weep:
you cant do what ifs or change the yesterdays honey so put it down to something youu can learn from. im sure your fine but if yu need to be assured go to a gum clinic x

[constantworrier418]

Well I rang my local HIV testing centre and they can fit me in tomorrow which is impressive as I expected a wait with Christmas etc. I should have result on thursday which is great if of course it's good news otherwise I'm going to have the worst Christmas ever. In two minds whether to wait but I'll only spend Christmas worrying about it anyway - hope it's negative :weep::weep:

[mikewales]

It almost definitely is, as others have pointed out, the risks are very low, and thats even IF the bloke had HIV in the first place, which he more than likely doesnt.

One thing to think about though is that in the future, dont have sex until you know someone and their history a bit better and you are in more of a relationship with them, it should help put your mind at ease, and if they are a decent person, they wont mind and wont be expecting sex on the first date.

[justina]

If you used a condom I am sure that you didn't get HIV, and nothing else either - and you don't know that he has HIV, if he doesn't have HIV the risk is zero.
I think it takes more than a few days to have the results of the HIV test. I have had several HIV tests (oh yes, I wouldn't be here if I didn't panic about everything:D ) and it took about a week to have the results.

Oh, and just for your information: today in our Western world, HIV is not a deadly disease. Today you take your pills and life goes on...

[constantworrier418]

So I had the blood test on Tuesday afternoon and the lively lady I saw said she hoped to have a result either late yesterday or today and she ring me to let me know. Well didn't hear anything yesterday and I'm freaking out waiting for the phone to ring today - hope it's the good news I crave in time for Christmas :weep: