Scared Witless about LIFE, feel anxious about stories!

[flobrien]

Hello!

I have been having a really rough time lately super stressed about everything and my anxiety is at a real high. I worry day and night about my health, my sons health and my husbands health etc etc

It tends to come and go but the last two weeks has been horrendous and I've got all of my faithful anxiety symptoms back in full swing too, yay o' yay!

Basically I just feel like life is literally like walking on eggshells the inevitability of getting something that simply kills us in an instant or getting an incurable disease... I keep hearing horrible depressing stories about people that just seems to concrete my anxious thoughts and beliefs. For instance today I was sitting at a cafe with my husband and son, when a random man began talking to me about how his son fell out of his bunk bed aged 9 and died it was terrible, he says his life is a living hell, and then later in the day I went to visit a friend who just got the news that her friends boyfriend was running a half marathon on the weekend and basically dropped dead during the marathon he was only 26 with no health problems?! I just can't get it out of my head that something like this will happen to me or a loved one, I feel distraught, helpless and scared.

I need some support or words of wisdom to help me think otherwise but dont know where to start...

Fi xx

[**Amy**]

Hiya

I'm a bit like this - I'm convinced every year that me and the kids are all gonna catch swine flu.

When my partner worked away for a while I couldn't sleep for fear of someone breaking in and attacking us or the house burning down.

The fact is, bad things happen to people and we can't ever say, "That won't happen to me" anymore than we can say, "That's definitely going to happen to me" - its just life.

The way I try to talk myself around is by saying - The only thing I will achieve by constantly worrying about things that may or may not happen is grey hair, high blood pressure and kids who will miss out because I'm too busy worrying about things that aren't even there instead of enjoying my kids and my life!

Be logical, bad things happen and if they do then take them in your stride but in the mean time - laugh, play, eat chocolate and be happy!! ;)

Take care x x x

[AllInMyHead]

Hi Fi, I felt very much like this when I had a bad period of HA about a year ago. In the previous year or so, a close friend was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. I also became very anxious that my husband was going to be killed in an accident. I don't know why I thought that, but I found myself imagining things like what it would be like to have to pack his clothes away etc. Then the partner of a very close family member took his own life out of the blue - nobody could fathom why. It sounds like I was having a terrible time, but actually I feel I have a very blessed and happy life, and was dealing with these difficulties fine.

I guess it all took it's toll. I started to get very anxious about my health, as I do from time to time. I clearly remember standing in the shower one day and suddenly seeing my whole life in front of me filled with illness, suffering and death of my loved ones and myself. It sounds corny, but it felt like a big wall in front of me. It was the first and only time that I have ever felt like I couldn't cope with life.

I finished the shower, and carried on with life, getting on with all the normal day to day to day things, and that's what got me through. Then, in time, I was given the all clear for the illness I thought I had, and the HA lifted. I had a course of CBT, which was fantastic. It helped me get to the bottom of where a lot of my negative thoughts were coming from. Now I don't generally get them, but if I do I know how to deal with them. I'm not anxious any more, and I'm healthy and happy. Life does still hold all those negative things in the future, but that's just a miniscule portion of it, most of it will be good. When the bad things do happen, I know I'll cope with it some way or another. I now view it differently, because I know I don't have to deal with it all at once, if that makes sense. My friend with cancer is now fighting fit and loving life. My close family member found a strength that I couldn't have imagined and is doing fantastically.

Sorry, I feel like I've blathered on a bit, but I just really wanted you to know that feels so insurmountable, but that it will get better xxx

[flobrien]

thank so much for your replies, sometimes I do just need to hear so words of wisdom from others who know how I am feeling. I do speak to my husband about things and he is brilliant and supportive but it is a little difficult as he doesn't really know what it feels like to have such extreme anxiety at times.

AllInMyHead, you have really helped with your advice, thank you so much. I was doing CBT but had to stop for the last month, and your advice reminded me to get back in touch with my therapist so hopefully will be going to see her next week sometime, It was really helping with retraining my way of thinking. Your shower moment is exactly how I feel at times, I feel this huge surge/wave of doom and despair wash over me, I feel so utterly overwhelmed with it all and don't see how I will cope if anything ever did happen. But, as you say, I know it does get better and somehow I will find a way. I am looking forward to getting back into my CBT sessions and really quashing this anxiety once and for all.

xxx

[AllInMyHead]

Good for you Fi. I think getting to the stage where you realise that you can take steps to overcome it yourself is key as well.

One of the big things I learned in CBT is that trying to deal with 'what ifs' is impossible and overwhelming. When a 'real' situation arises you can cope much better because you have something concrete to deal with.

AmyStardust, I like your suggest of eating chocolate - it works for me :)

[potato11]

hiya flobrien

have a look at this online cbt course aswell to compliment your sessions

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=91696

found it here on NMP, really recommend it x