DisneyRunner
03-12-11, 02:24
Hi all! I found this site through Google searching. You know, where you search for some symptoms of an illness you think you have. Well this site actually came up and I'm hoping I can get some help/direction from you all here.
A bit about me and my life: I just turned 38, I'm married and we have two sons. Both my sons are severely autistic. We're talking classic Autism, non-verbal, etc. Our life is stress 24/7. My husband works 10 hour days and commutes 70 miles each way. He's gone 14 to 15 hours a day. My oldest son doesn't sleep well (never has) so I have to stay awake with him until he falls asleep. I average 3 hours of sleep per day (no naps, that's it). So I'm pretty maxed out.
So here is my problem, I'm stressed out about lymph nodes. To the point that I know I have a serious problem. 7 years ago I got sick and one on the side of my neck came up. No big deal, it went back down. I didn't think of it again until a year later when I had a dental procedure go bad. My dentist suggested I had a tumor! Red flags went up and I remembered that gland from the year before. So that became my focus.
I was sent to an ENT who ordered a CT scan. The results were that I had a gland there but it was to small to biopsy and the ENT felt it was just a "shotty" node. However he added on that all important phrase of "but we should keep an eye on it." That was it for me. I was maxed out in my day to day life and I needed to know I was fine. So I began obsessing about this lymph node.
Fast forward to 2011. Over the past few years I gained a lot of weight. Just let myself go, totally my fault. I had always been fit before. So this year I decided to get back in shape. However I knew as soon as I lost weight, I'd be feeling every little lymph node (and whatever else) I could. Sure enough the doctor visits started. The more weight I lost, the more I could find, the more often I went to the Dr for reassurance. It got to the point that I was going about once a month. Of course every time she would feel whatever area I was worried about and then tell me it was fine. Totally normal. Very small, etc., etc., etc.
I need to break this cycle. I can't keep living this way. This is no life for me or my family. It's impacting my marriage, my children, my friends. I feel so awful and out of control.
So I have drawn the line in the sand and am trying to help myself with this. I cannot afford to see a therapist at this time. It's just not financially possible. So I bought a book called, "It's Not All In Your Head" and I just started reading it. If anyone here has any experience with this book or can recommend any others, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, has anyone here actually fixed this themselves without therapy? I'm hoping it can be done. I want my life back and I want it back now!
Thanks for reading. Sorry to be so wordy!
A bit about me and my life: I just turned 38, I'm married and we have two sons. Both my sons are severely autistic. We're talking classic Autism, non-verbal, etc. Our life is stress 24/7. My husband works 10 hour days and commutes 70 miles each way. He's gone 14 to 15 hours a day. My oldest son doesn't sleep well (never has) so I have to stay awake with him until he falls asleep. I average 3 hours of sleep per day (no naps, that's it). So I'm pretty maxed out.
So here is my problem, I'm stressed out about lymph nodes. To the point that I know I have a serious problem. 7 years ago I got sick and one on the side of my neck came up. No big deal, it went back down. I didn't think of it again until a year later when I had a dental procedure go bad. My dentist suggested I had a tumor! Red flags went up and I remembered that gland from the year before. So that became my focus.
I was sent to an ENT who ordered a CT scan. The results were that I had a gland there but it was to small to biopsy and the ENT felt it was just a "shotty" node. However he added on that all important phrase of "but we should keep an eye on it." That was it for me. I was maxed out in my day to day life and I needed to know I was fine. So I began obsessing about this lymph node.
Fast forward to 2011. Over the past few years I gained a lot of weight. Just let myself go, totally my fault. I had always been fit before. So this year I decided to get back in shape. However I knew as soon as I lost weight, I'd be feeling every little lymph node (and whatever else) I could. Sure enough the doctor visits started. The more weight I lost, the more I could find, the more often I went to the Dr for reassurance. It got to the point that I was going about once a month. Of course every time she would feel whatever area I was worried about and then tell me it was fine. Totally normal. Very small, etc., etc., etc.
I need to break this cycle. I can't keep living this way. This is no life for me or my family. It's impacting my marriage, my children, my friends. I feel so awful and out of control.
So I have drawn the line in the sand and am trying to help myself with this. I cannot afford to see a therapist at this time. It's just not financially possible. So I bought a book called, "It's Not All In Your Head" and I just started reading it. If anyone here has any experience with this book or can recommend any others, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, has anyone here actually fixed this themselves without therapy? I'm hoping it can be done. I want my life back and I want it back now!
Thanks for reading. Sorry to be so wordy!