How do you deal with your trigger if it's a person?

[in7out11]

I have been sufferering from panic attacks for 11/12 years now and over time i have created more and more triggers. The worst kind i find though are certain people trigger me off. In the past i just avoid them at all costs and thats how i get around it. 2 days ago though my sister moved back home after splitting with her boyfriend and having not lived here for 6 years. Since she moved back in though i find that i cant speak to her and struggle to look at her. I have created a trigger out of my own sister! i don't know what to do this is killing me, please please please can someone give advice?????

[MaxHeadroom]

I don't mind to sound flippant, in7out11. But might it be that it's not so much people triggering you off, but you trigging people off?

You created a trigger out of your sister, you made her an object of anxiety. It's up to you to recognise that her role as trigger is a role you've assigned her. After all, I'm sure she doesn't want to be an anxiety inducing object in your life.

[robinhall]

Hi
You are caught in a very common cycle of fear - You must have felt a lot of anxiety or panic when with certain people - it may have just been coincidental anxiety that you mistakenly attributed to those people - this escalates to you worrying that you might feel anxiety with other people so invariably you do.

You are most likely scanning for the slightest feelings of anxiety when with people so you will exaggerate the sensations which DOES lead to increased anxiety and so on.

Rather than focus your attention on a particular person you need to fully understand the process of the anxiety cycles. When a person triggers anxiety we miss the anxiety cycle because we think that maybe it is the person. I once had a massive panic attack whilst playing snooker - and after that point I always felt extreme anxiety near snooker tables - obviously it wasn't snooker tables that were the problem - it was my memory triggering fight or flight. It is most likely the same with you.

You need to study more about anxiety. Please consider giving CBT4PANIC a try - there is no point getting bits of advice here and there.

I hope this helps
Robin

[in7out11]

Thanks Robin reading this actually made me feel better, and i have taken up your advice of trying CBT4PANIC, much appreciated.

[robinhall]

Hi

Glad to be of help :)

Please let us all know how you get on with CBT4PANIC

best of luck
Robin

[missy_c]

I have had people be my triggers too...my ex for starters as it was a break up with him that causes a breakdown. I thought I saw him a few weeks ago and was very panicky. I also had my husband as my trigger, as a few years ago I had a intrusive thoughts that I maybe didn't love him, which was soooooooo stupid, but at the time you can't help the thoughts. With my hubby, I realised that he was actually a rock, and rationalised in my head that it was me looking for reasons to be anxious at the time, and because things had become serious, I thought it might be that, and hence him causing it. When I went on new meds my anxiety stopped and I realised that it was my silly brain creating the link, and not him at all. Needless to say we're married and as I didn't have an attack on my wedding day which is usually a pretty stressful day, I can safely say its not him :-)

I think it can be normal, and almost as though we try to tag our anxieties with something which may or may not be connected. When I say may be connected, I mean like having an attack when the person is present, therefore you think that might have been a cuase, but it wasn't really...