hate the stigma attached to having social anxiety

[JP]

HI there - I have had social anxiety for 2 years and am having CBT to overcome the horrible symtoms. But I have realised that I not only avoid social situations because I am so worried I will freeze and not be able to speak, but also because my friends all know that I have social phobia and am ashamed of it. I feel like a freak and that I am seen to be a bit mad - I can't get used to the fact that this has happened to ME!! I used to not have any problems with any social situation. so confused!!
any thoughts on you have coped with the impact its had on your life and how you see yourself would be appreciated.
JP

[Paddington]

hello jp,and welcome to the forum.You have come to the right place!Firstly well done on the c b t,i do hope it worksfor you,i have heard only good things and am going toask my dr to send mt for some too!I do empathise with you ,as will every on e on here!You must not feel ashamed ,.There is no shame here ,JP,.Now you have found us you can see you are not a freak[tho i totally know where you are coming FROM!!]coming on here shows me how many peeps suffer from this anxiety.I cope by accepting myself!If i can do it fine ,if i cant that is fine too.In fact i now tell people openly insread of pretending all the time.I found this freedom thru this forum,there are thousands of us ,and we are all wonderful!!he he he he,keep posting and you will except yourself and then get better!love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[JP]

thanks for reply - i know its about accepting it and getting on with things and that trying to pretend it hasnt / didnt happened is not good- but i cant help it! ?I end up cutting off links with old friends, as i dont want to have to tell them what has happened to me and that i feel so different to when i last saw them. It plays havoc with my love life too as i lack confidence to ask people out on or go on a date, and would not want to get close to someone and have to tell them about the anxiety thing in case they thought i was bonkers!

jp

[tisa]

Hi JP, My name is Karen. I suffer from anxiety, mainly social anxiety, which recently resulted in me having to leave my job. Like yourself, I find social events very difficult & find myself avoiding certain situations. I worry that people are looking at me & can tell that I feel anxious & uncomfortable, which I find embarrassing & feel abnormal!

HI there - I have had social anxiety for 2 years and am having CBT to overcome the horrible symtoms. But I have realised that I not only avoid social situations because I am so worried I will freeze and not be able to speak, but also because my friends all know that I have social phobia and am ashamed of it. I feel like a freak and that I am seen to be a bit mad - I can't get used to the fact that this has happened to ME!! I used to not have any problems with any social situation. so confused!!
any thoughts on you have coped with the impact its had on your life and how you see yourself would be appreciated.
JP

<div align="right">Originally posted by JP - 02 June 2006 : 13:16:29</div id="right">
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[JP]

Hi Karen- sorry to hear you had to leave your job- thats what i did a couple of years ago when i started having anxiety. SO i know how you feel- I was gutted as i had always coped really well at work. hope you can get back to it soon - good luck!

jp

[tisa]

Hi jp, thanks for your swift reply. I was gutted that I had to leave my job. I intend to get myself better then I'll look for work again (I hope).

TAKE CARE

[JP]

Karen - I have had this for a couple of years - is this a new thing for you? it sounds like it. I am currently getting CBT which is a form of therapy which looks at why your anxiety is there and how you can overcome it- basically it works on the principal that each time you avoid a situation this reinforces the fear in your mind and makes the anxiety worse the next time. so you expose yourself to gradually more and more difficult situations. - they make you aware of what safety behaviours you use eg not maintaining eye contact, keeping what you say to a minimum, not talking about yourself and so on, and you realise that doing these safety behaviours actually makes you feel MORE anxious, despite you thinking that they are protecting you.I hope this makes sense. there are various books if you dont want to consult a therapist, one i can recommend is by Gillian Butler "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness". unfortunately i found that without working at it it just wont go away, so try one of the above. Bye for now!

jp

[tisa]

Hello again - I've suffered with anxiety/panic attacks on & off for several years now but recently it has crept up on me again & has become mainly social anxiety. In the past I have seen psychologists & councellors & also attended CBT groups (which I really need to put in to practice more!) For many years I have been ok & have managed to hold down some pretty good jobs but now unfortunately it has become a problem again. I'm currently taking Citalopram which my GP prescribed but to date it hasn't been very beneficial. Do you take any medication (hope you don't mind me asking?) The book you mention is one I currently have & I also have ''Over Coming Anxiety'' by Helen Kennerley.

[JP]

Hi again. I used to take seroxat, them swapped to sertraline. but for the past 3 months I am taking nothing, as I decided that what i need to concentrate on was CBT rather than take the antidepressants. also i didnt feel any better for taking them - I guess if it works for you then stick with it. I found the problem with the books that i didnt stick to what they told me to do. I find that a therapist is good to make you stick to a plan! I had an interview recently and asked the doctor for beta blockers - they really sorted me out for a stressful situation.
But i totally understand how hard it is feeling you cant get out of this stupid anxiety - its sooo annoying!!!

jp

[tisa]

No it's not ideal taking medication. I think you're v.brave coping without tablets! wish I was that strong. I have been referred again by my GP for further therapy so I'm really looking forward to that! I'm determined to get better.

I have to go now but hopefully we'll speak soon

Take care
Karen

[JP]

Karen - you sound really motivated to sort this out - nice one!
Also if your CBT with your GP does not materialize or they put you on a massive waiting list, I am attending sessions (NHS funded) in London - they are really good - if you live roughly in London /South East I can give you details of who to contact.
Take care,
Jonny

jp

[tisa]

Hey Jonny you ok? I've seen my doc this morning who suggested I contact the psychologist who I saw previously. I live in Norwich (Norfolk) so a CBT group in the London area wouldn't be any good (ta anyway, much appreciated).

Karen