Can't do this much longer..So scared. Please,help

[rapidhopeloss]

I have been going mental for the past two months now and it's just getting too much...I have bad bad anxiety, something which sounds a lot like depersonalization but i just see it as me going mental, I have a pit of fear in my stomach all day every day, I don't know who i am, I don't feel like I am real, I can't feel happy about anything, I don't see any point! How can anybody be happy when they feel like this? I don't even want to go out.

The other day I went to see my friend for a few hours and I didn't enjoy it at all because I just had anxiety all the time,I feared i was going to black out and never wake up,that I wasn't real, nothing was real, My vision felt foggy, I kept wondering who the hell I was... I think back on when I felt ''normal'' and don't understand how the hell I ever felt like that,without having these thoughts. and going back to being normal and not worrying scares me,Because then I won't be me and will just be like some mindless robot. I am terrified..

My doctor put my Paroxatine up to 40mg a few weeks back, and at first I thought it was working...But it hasn't. Not one bit :(

I feel like I don't want to live anymore because there is no point,I cant keep going on like this anymore... I enjoy nothing, Worry all day every day, over everything, I don't understand how my brain works and how I work....I don't know who I am,I see people so happy and I don't get how they could be happy!! I feel sick all the time :( I am a mess!! I am also tired none stop,no matter how much I sleep,I just want to sleep more and more.

Please, any words of wisdom? has anybody anywhere had it THIS bad? is it anxiety? or am I losing my mind :(

---------- Post added at 16:10 ---------- Previous post was at 16:09 ----------

I can not put into words how I feel...Nothing can explain it..but it is the most terrifying,scary thing ever. I have suffered from Anxiety a lot in my life, but never this bad. I just want to crawl away and die

[chappers1980]

Hiya

Firstly you are not going mental or mad, you are just ill like someone who would be ill with a physical illness. The fact that you are aware of all of this, shows you are not losing your mind. I don't know what Paroxatine is but if its an antidepressant, a few weeks is not enough for it to work fully. I'm on Citalopram and about 7 weeks in and i'm just starting to feel better.

I think you need to get yourself back to the doctors and tell them exactly how you are feeling, they should refer you to some counselling as well. Drugs aren't enough to make you feel better you need to talk everything out to get to the bottom of what is making you feel this way.

I promise you that others have and are feeling exactly the same as you. I'm slowly coming out the other side but it takes time and a lot of patience.

But you are definitely not mental, you are perfectly normal. You are going through a rough patch but you will get better xxx

[cathycrumble]

I am exactly the same at the moment you are NOT going mad you are nervously exausted. If you are just worried about the phyisical feelings and you dont have a special worry then I sugest you buy the claire weeks book self help for your nerves it is brilliant my prob is a BP phobia but I did have other problems which caused my Blood pressure to rise and now I have got no problems but I have latched on to My bp and cant stop thinking about it and I have all those symptoms you have constantly I have just started Amitriptyline AD and my gp has given me diazipam because I am sooo tense I have taken 4mg before just to help me relax.

I really would advise you buy one of her books they are good.

Cathy xx

[theharvestmouse]

go to your GP, one step at a time, you are not losing it, we all have terrible days, and it does not have to mean it will always be like this. Don't think about everything, just do one thing at a time, try to think about it logically. Write it down if need be.

Most of all, you are not alone, and there are people who can help you.

[rapidhopeloss]

Thank you for all the replies...At the moment I can't believe that it is anxiety..I just feel like I am going mad...and I am going to just vanish into myself and never come back..

I have just came home from being at the supermarket and I had to rush around the place, I felt like I kept zoning out and then coming back to earth with a bang..Then on the way back home I kind of...went into my own mind in a way,and was thinking none stop,about everything!! every little thing possible, It feels like my mind is in overdrive!! constantly.

It's driving me mad :( I wish i could explain it all a bit better :(

[miss polly]

I've felt exactly like that and believe me it does pass. Do you know or have any idea what lies at the root of your anxiety? If you do, addressing that will help a great deal. Please believe me when I say anxiety can cause all those symptoms and others besides! It's a vicious cycle and it feeds off itself so the worse you feel the worse the symptoms.
It would be worth going back to the doc as sometimes it's trial and error with meds and you may need another type. Try not to panic ~ you're not going mad! xx

[Lion King]

Hope you are ok now?

I can't describe how bad anxiety is when it is in full swing, I can totally relate! I would speak to your gp about medication just for reassurance or maybe a change. I was on Citalopram, it took about 7-8 weeks to get into my system after playing around with dosage but it did work.

A good idea before going to the gp is to write down all your symptoms (mental & Physical), I did this and I got referred for counselling which was a godsend.

I hope this helps.

LK

[Rod]

Firstly I have been as you are now. I am not cured but can function a lot better. CBT has really helped me to understand what is going on. It is a viscous circle brought on by fear of the symptoms in a higly sensitized body. Any symptom should be treated the same and that is just a part of Anxiety. Know that they cant hurt you. Its actually your body trying to help you (Fight or Flight) but being so sensitized it makes mistakes and shoots of these symptoms for no apparent reason.
When you feel them coming next time dont try and hide from them just let them go and see for yourself that they you will not be hurt.

If out shopping instead of rushing and making them worse just slow right down and take your time, dont try and distract yourself either just let them come and do their worse. I do this all the time. I even take longer when I have them and dont leave till they stop. Also dont feel bad if you can only stay an extra few minutes at first its still progress.

[nstama]

Reading this post was like reading about the exact way that I am feeling, it's like I wrote it myself. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way because I understand it completely and it is soo so awful. I just want to go to a doctor and have them tell me exactly what to do and be cured. But I know that's impossible and it feels like there is no hope. I want my old life back. It's hard to imagine feeling normal and carefree again but I want it more than anything. I really hope things are getting better for you, I guess we just have to keep fighting. :hugs:

[lynn1960]

i felt like this a while back i used to walk the streets all night i thought i was going to be put away because ii was mad but beleive me you are not.you are as sane as the next person aniexty makes everyone feel differently but it is anixety.if you feel your meds are not working please go back to your gp there may be another one that is better for you although all meds take a time to work you will start to feel better you will start with a couple of minutes without panic then an hour then two hours and so on then you will get the good and bad days then the good get more than the bad soon you will get all good days its takes a while for us to build ourselfs up to this state of aniexty so only right it takes a timer to stop but it will i am proof of that hope this helps

[rapidhopeloss]

Thank you all for your replies..Since i wrote this post I have been suffering from new things.. I just put a post up about it. Over thinking my actions and how I control my body, how my brain works...

I was doing some tidying up today and my mind was thinking thinking thinking..and then it thought..how the hell did I just load the dishwasher without thinking about how to do it?? am I just some mindless robot who goes through the motions? So that panicked me so much.

I am becoming a prisoner, I don't go out...I find it hard to mix with my family anymore because I don't feel right/real/like I know who I am.
I even looked in the mirror the other day and I didn't connect with who it was looking back at me, like I didn't know who I was. And I don't feel like I do know who I am :(

I dont understand how a few months ago I was happy and normal and Now I am some kind of mental headcase..