Getting There

[markm]

Firstly I would just like to thank everyone for their kind words posted yesterday.As I have always been in good health over the years the last six or seven weeks have been dreadfull for me.I turned 40 last week and it was the worst ever.(I think that day I had MS or ME,cant decide)I havnt googled at all today but the only thing now that worries me is whats going on with my head and vision.It seems the old 'BRAIN TUMOR' is back.I have a contant throbbing,pressure just behind my eyes which is not like a normal headache,also it kind of spreads out to the side of my head.This in turn,along with the fact im all choked up gives you that effect in when you talk you can hear yourself in your ears,if you know what i mean.Also I find myself thinking my memory is failing because I question what i am going to say and cant take in sometimes what people are saying to me and i find the harder you concentrate the worse it gets.Also i dunno if its my medication (Inderal ) or just another symtom anxiety throws up but when I go out it seems that im in my own little world and everything around me seems so surreal-like its not really me looking around.IS THIS NORMAL WITH ANXIETY??? Apart from that im fine LOL.Any thoughts anyone??

Mark

[taf]

Firstly, inderol made me feel very surreal after I was inadvertently given it due to pressure increase following surgery(a sign of anxiety induced blood pressure spike, I tried to tell them in my surgical haze in recovery room, but oh well...), and they did not take into account I have mild asthma, (quite contradicted in administration of any beta blocker are the preexisting conditions of respiratory conditions)
Are you on any other meds?
I assume the inderol is being given for headache applications, and not blood pressure?
Ask your pharmacist about this effect, and perhaps they can suggest calling the doc if it is med related?
These beta blockers have a sedating effect, I have heard.
Turning 40 can seem a big step. I remember becoming very pensive and thoughtful when I turned 40, but I am alive to talk about it LOL:)
Have you had a CT and MRI scan? I know you can start to put some of your fears to rest as you know the "I don't have that" fear to rest.
Remember, anxiety can paint your whole external perspective, I think! I think the most telling story I remember reading in the past years was one of the Yogi in India who meditated so deeply, that his heart slowed to nearly bradychadia levels...in a normal setting would be worrisome, but not for him. This showed me the extreme discipline that one can learn over his mind and outward body symptoms! It is like the CPU on your computer. Garbage in, garbage out...i.e., computer terms..if your system has a virus (fearful thoughts), then your external components (your body symptoms) collapse.
Can you actively find a CBT therapist in your area? If not ready right now, that's ok, I think. Let your body rest a bit, and when you feel ready, try therapies which work for you, helping YOU feel more in control. There is no set and fast time table in life....you will feel better, and you are in control of your outcomes!
Love and peace to you, Taf