phil06
06-12-11, 22:30
Lately I feel very low in confidence. I've been getting alot of negative thoughts one of them is dealing with the possibility I may be single forever as I have run out of luck..my relationship drought has gone on 4 years and I'm only 23 all my relationships were like 16 - 18 now I'm 23.
I hopelessly sit on dating sites all day as it's all I know. I usually feel disappointed as I talk to people and some you discuss a date but it never happens either as I get cold feet as they may not be the type of women I'm after or the other way about. I don't get clubbing as much anymore due to friendships but when I have been out I tend not to have luck either. I get alot of anxiety on these dating sites like have I spoke to her before on it and if I have and it never worked I'd rather avoid that scenario of dating them..my mind plays tricks though if I think logically i've not spoke to her but my head says well maybe I have and I keep analyzing that's a form of anxiety right?
But over all I am very low on confidence I see past 20 as all down hill as I discussed on here before and I have in my head I'm a less attractive package as I was a few years ago and I fear having to dress old or be single at 30. It all makes me very depressed being single and this pattern of negative thinking. Perhaps it doesn't help I don't take a few weeks break from a dating site anymore? A few years ago I had a good job I liked and was in a relationship but I'm so discontent year by year as jobs don't deliver the friendships I want, or existing ones crumble.
I feel success and joy is hard to come by for me these days. It's hard to explain I do try but some kinds of success like qualifications like college or a driving test is hard work..I failed my driving test 4 times and gave up and it made me anxious for a year due to stress. I'm very self conscious about everything now and feel in my own little bubble everywhere..I don't feel I'm liked even if I am these days..I'm fed up living at home yes it's cheaper but well so many people my age or ones I know are settled. But I guess this is part of life..What I want, well I've not got it, it's not like I demand the lottery but other things are less easy.
I hear so many mixed views on life like maybe it will all fit into place? In the past when it was good I felt I was able to be myself and it did fit into place? But I also fear my lack of confidence could mean another 4 years single or another 4 years unhappy with my work or something. It would be easy to say keep trying but sometimes it tires you out..not trying makes me very depressed and sad even if it's a short break so I keep going. When I seen a counsellor in February this year she said my mind was always buzzing for changes. I can't believe where the 4 years has gone so if anything I feel more pressure..my head is so jumbled I doubt I can get it all out this anxiety.
But what I'm saying is it's less about panic attacks for me at the moment more inner issues of confidence or lack of. I just pity myself and my head has so many scenarios that make me feel worse..the way it makes me feel I talk to women but feel hollow on these dating sites incase I've spoke to them before..it's become a bit of an OCD where I tend to avoid some..again I guess anxiety is hard to cope with the uncertainty life brings..I came up with a theory even if I met this nice women and we got on great and I had never came across her before if it failed and I was single again I would be back on these sites. Plus I even fear I've chatted up her mates and not got on and my world seems so small..so many scenarios..I've spoke to loads but when you have been single so long you find yourself in this scenario. Being single is easier but so grim and depressing..I find I feel I wish I had found love before now rather than looking forward to what may come in the future.
How can I cheer myself up? :weep:
I hopelessly sit on dating sites all day as it's all I know. I usually feel disappointed as I talk to people and some you discuss a date but it never happens either as I get cold feet as they may not be the type of women I'm after or the other way about. I don't get clubbing as much anymore due to friendships but when I have been out I tend not to have luck either. I get alot of anxiety on these dating sites like have I spoke to her before on it and if I have and it never worked I'd rather avoid that scenario of dating them..my mind plays tricks though if I think logically i've not spoke to her but my head says well maybe I have and I keep analyzing that's a form of anxiety right?
But over all I am very low on confidence I see past 20 as all down hill as I discussed on here before and I have in my head I'm a less attractive package as I was a few years ago and I fear having to dress old or be single at 30. It all makes me very depressed being single and this pattern of negative thinking. Perhaps it doesn't help I don't take a few weeks break from a dating site anymore? A few years ago I had a good job I liked and was in a relationship but I'm so discontent year by year as jobs don't deliver the friendships I want, or existing ones crumble.
I feel success and joy is hard to come by for me these days. It's hard to explain I do try but some kinds of success like qualifications like college or a driving test is hard work..I failed my driving test 4 times and gave up and it made me anxious for a year due to stress. I'm very self conscious about everything now and feel in my own little bubble everywhere..I don't feel I'm liked even if I am these days..I'm fed up living at home yes it's cheaper but well so many people my age or ones I know are settled. But I guess this is part of life..What I want, well I've not got it, it's not like I demand the lottery but other things are less easy.
I hear so many mixed views on life like maybe it will all fit into place? In the past when it was good I felt I was able to be myself and it did fit into place? But I also fear my lack of confidence could mean another 4 years single or another 4 years unhappy with my work or something. It would be easy to say keep trying but sometimes it tires you out..not trying makes me very depressed and sad even if it's a short break so I keep going. When I seen a counsellor in February this year she said my mind was always buzzing for changes. I can't believe where the 4 years has gone so if anything I feel more pressure..my head is so jumbled I doubt I can get it all out this anxiety.
But what I'm saying is it's less about panic attacks for me at the moment more inner issues of confidence or lack of. I just pity myself and my head has so many scenarios that make me feel worse..the way it makes me feel I talk to women but feel hollow on these dating sites incase I've spoke to them before..it's become a bit of an OCD where I tend to avoid some..again I guess anxiety is hard to cope with the uncertainty life brings..I came up with a theory even if I met this nice women and we got on great and I had never came across her before if it failed and I was single again I would be back on these sites. Plus I even fear I've chatted up her mates and not got on and my world seems so small..so many scenarios..I've spoke to loads but when you have been single so long you find yourself in this scenario. Being single is easier but so grim and depressing..I find I feel I wish I had found love before now rather than looking forward to what may come in the future.
How can I cheer myself up? :weep: